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Shadowing practice: The Heck Parents Actually Being Cool for 43 Minutes

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  1. Hey, Dave!0:00
  2. Mike Heckerand?0:01
  3. Uh, no, he's with the yellow hat guys.0:02
  4. But I'm his daughter.0:04
  5. You can leave it with me.0:05
  6. Okay.0:27
  7. Okay, I checked the whole neighborhood, but this is all the poop I could find.0:27
  8. I was hoping for more ammo, but that'll do.0:31
  9. Water balloon?0:34
  10. It's not water.0:35
  11. It's me, Sue.0:39
  12. Guys, I have to tell you something.0:42
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  1. I don't know if I should say, but it's just so big, I can't hold it in anymore.0:45
  2. Mom and Dad have been keeping a terrible secret from us.0:49
  3. We're poor!0:54
  4. Oh, no!0:56
  5. What don't they say at the club?0:57
  6. It's the truth, Axel.0:58
  7. I accidentally peaked Dad's paycheck and saw how much money he needed.1:00
  8. Sue, we go out after tornadoes looking for clothes.1:04
  9. We know.1:07
  10. We have to do something to help.1:08
  11. I gave up my trip so they don't have to pay for it, and you guys better start thinking of ways we can save money, too.1:10
  12. No way!1:15
  13. It's their fault.1:16
  14. They don't know how to budget.1:17
  15. They should have stopped having kids after me.1:17
  16. You guys are the real money drain with your braces and your special school.1:19
  17. I don't go to a special school.1:23
  18. You don't?1:26
  19. I just feel so bad for them.1:27
  20. They must be so worried all the time.1:29
  21. That's probably why they're so cranky.1:31
  22. Right.1:32
  23. These might not even be their real personalities.1:34
  24. They could be lovely people.1:36
  25. We don't know.1:38
  26. I just wish I'd never looked at that stupid paycheck.1:39
  27. Stop whining.1:42
  28. It's about time you joined the real world.1:43
  29. Welcome to adulthood.1:45
  30. Now arm yourselves with a poop bomb and get ready to throw.1:46
  31. I was just wondering who exactly decided you couldn't go on this trip?1:50
  32. I saw your paycheck, okay?1:55
  33. I am so, so sorry.1:57
  34. It was just sitting there on the desk, and they didn't like the sticky part, so it was open, and I looked, and I saw how much you make, and1:59
  35. my trip cost too much money.2:05
  36. I don't want to go!2:07
  37. What?2:08
  38. Sue, what are you talking about?2:08
  39. I know you don't get paid a lot of money, and I am a horrible person because I am always asking for stuff, and mom doesn't have a job, and2:10
  40. you work all the time, and our TV has a weird squiggly line down the middle.2:17
  41. But just last week, I had mom by me, a girl's rule the world pencil case.2:21
  42. I am so selfish.2:25
  43. Sue, you're not selfish, you're a normal kid.2:26
  44. But I already know girls rule the world, so do I really need to read it on a pencil case?2:29
  45. It's like I am just throwing money away!2:34
  46. Hey, hey, stop.2:36
  47. Okay, listen, you're right.2:37
  48. I am?2:39
  49. Yeah.2:40
  50. We don't have a lot of extra money right now.2:41
  51. Oh.2:44
  52. Okay.2:45
  53. But it's not your job to worry about it.2:46
  54. I'm the dad.2:48
  55. It's my job.2:48
  56. And I say no to plenty of stuff, and this trip is a big deal.2:49
  57. You worked hard, so we can do it.2:53
  58. But your paycheck.2:56
  59. If that's what you make every two weeks, my trip is too expensive.2:57
  60. Sue, you didn't look close enough.3:02
  61. I get paid every week.3:03
  62. You do?3:04
  63. Yeah.3:05
  64. Now go get your costume.3:06
  65. The band needs its chicken.3:08
  66. Are you sure?3:10
  67. Go honey.3:11
  68. Have a good time.3:12
  69. I'm going to a band competition in Cincinnati!3:14
  70. How could I not?3:16
  71. You get paid every two weeks.3:25
  72. Yeah.3:27
  73. But just like that autograph Justin Bieber hat we got her.3:28
  74. She doesn't need to know.3:31
  75. Okay.3:33
  76. We are roughly a hundred seventy fourth in line.3:34
  77. I talked to the guy and he said he definitely thinks we're going to get tickets.3:37
  78. Well, I already can't feel my toes.3:41
  79. But you know what?3:46
  80. I'm really glad we're doing this.3:47
  81. I know.3:48
  82. Me too.3:49
  83. I feel like we don't get to hang out as much as we used to.3:50
  84. I mean you're so busy.3:53
  85. You've got Russ Loretts and Matt.3:54
  86. You're growing up.3:57
  87. It's true.3:58
  88. I am growing up.3:59
  89. Look at me.4:01
  90. I'm in line for a Justin Bieber concert.4:02
  91. Mom, I just want to say I think you're really cool for doing this.4:05
  92. I was cool.4:09
  93. But you know, this is the kind of stuff you got to do if you want to stay close to your kids.4:11
  94. Hey, did you see that?4:20
  95. I think they just cut.4:22
  96. What?4:24
  97. They can't do that.4:25
  98. Oh my god.4:27
  99. How many tickets are they going to buy?4:28
  100. If people start cutting we are going to miss our window.4:31
  101. Excuse me.4:34
  102. They cut.4:35
  103. Please keep the sidewalks clear.4:36
  104. Okay.4:38
  105. Excuse me.4:40
  106. You with the yellow scarf.4:42
  107. You may not realize we're back here but we've been waiting too.4:43
  108. Cutting is stealing.4:47
  109. You're stealing our place in line.4:49
  110. You're stealing our tickets.4:50
  111. You're stealing our time.4:51
  112. Oh please.4:54
  113. Don't act like you can't hear me.4:55
  114. You know what?5:01
  115. It's just two people.5:01
  116. We should be fine.5:02
  117. What?5:07
  118. Mom, that is like 20 girls.5:07
  119. We are definitely out of the window now.5:10
  120. I was so sure that I was meant to see Justin Bieber and have a deeply religious experience and now my dream is lost.5:13
  121. This is ridiculous.5:21
  122. I'm not going to let this happen.5:23
  123. Sue, come with me.5:24
  124. Wait, wait, wait, wait.5:25
  125. What?5:27
  126. Where are we going?5:27
  127. We're going to lose our place in line.5:28
  128. I'll tell you what we're going to do.5:29
  129. We're going to cut.5:31
  130. What?5:32
  131. Mom, no.5:33
  132. We cannot cut.5:35
  133. That is so wrong.5:36
  134. Don't think of it as cutting.5:38
  135. Think of it as reclaiming the spot that is rightfully ours.5:39
  136. But Sue, you're going to be cool.5:42
  137. Uh -uh.5:45
  138. That's the thing the bad kid says in the drug movies when he's trying to get you to drink drugs.5:45
  139. Listen, do you want this or not?5:49
  140. Oh god.5:51
  141. Why are my teen years so full of hard choices?5:52
  142. Hey Karen.5:58
  143. Hi.6:00
  144. I'm going to miss you, Karen.6:02
  145. Oh.6:04
  146. Wow, you look just like her.6:04
  147. Do you get that a lot?6:06
  148. Hey, she's trying to cut.6:08
  149. Cut her.6:09
  150. Karen, come on.6:11
  151. Cut her!6:12
  152. Cut her!6:13
  153. Cut her!6:14
  154. Excuse me.6:16
  155. Ma 'am, we've had some complaints about people cutting in line.6:18
  156. Yeah, that was me.6:21
  157. I complained.6:22
  158. Because all these people back here are the cutters.6:23
  159. Cutters!6:26
  160. Cutters!6:27
  161. Cut!6:28
  162. Yeah, I'm going to have to escort you to the back of line.6:31
  163. Yeah!6:35
  164. It's a skill that doesn't come in handy very often.6:40
  165. But Sue's ability to go unnoticed can really pay off sometimes.6:43
  166. One long night later, we had achieved Bieber.6:48
  167. And complete numbness in my left butt cheek.6:53
  168. Alright, I'm here.6:57
  169. Let's get this over with so I can go back to my life.6:58
  170. Bunch of dudes are filling up the back of this guy's truck and throwing me a pool party.7:00
  171. Well, as fun as that sounds, you might like the surprise I planned for you.7:04
  172. We're not moving the freezer.7:08
  173. What?7:10
  174. I came all the way down here for nothing?7:11
  175. No, no.7:12
  176. It's good.7:13
  177. I got you to come home so we can go out and grab a beer.7:13
  178. Oh my god.7:16
  179. Why would you do that?7:17
  180. Because it's something my father does with his 21 -year -old son.7:19
  181. You don't get it.7:22
  182. I was going to swim in the back of a truck, but then you tricked me into coming here to have a beer with you that doesn't make any sense.7:23
  183. No, it's a tradition.7:28
  184. When I turned 21, my dad told me to come help him move some manure.7:29
  185. But when I got there, he took me out for a beer instead.7:32
  186. Why didn't you just ask me to have a beer?7:35
  187. Because that's not the thing.7:38
  188. I don't get it.7:40
  189. You think you're coming home to work and then you don't.7:42
  190. You know, it's a surprise.7:44
  191. It's whimsical.7:46
  192. But you don't like surprises.7:48
  193. I know.7:49
  194. And I'm not liking them a hell of a lot right now.7:50
  195. Hold on.7:52
  196. So you didn't actually move manure?7:53
  197. No, there was no manure.7:54
  198. But when my dad told me to come help him move manure, I damn well ran over there to help him move some manure.7:56
  199. I didn't say I would and then send somebody else.8:01
  200. Was there or wasn't there manure?8:03
  201. There wasn't.8:05
  202. The point is, if there was manure, I would have moved it.8:06
  203. Fine.8:10
  204. Whatever.8:10
  205. Let's just go get a beer.8:10
  206. I need one.8:11
  207. I might have a beer with you now.8:12
  208. What?8:14
  209. Oh, I come all this way.8:14
  210. Let's move the freezer or get a beer or something.8:16
  211. It's already moved.8:18
  212. Your brother made your mom mad.8:19
  213. Okay, so the freezer's moved.8:20
  214. Are we going to get a beer or not?8:21
  215. Not.8:23
  216. Oh, I don't understand what is happening.8:25
  217. Look, this was a nice thing my dad did for me when I turned 21 and I always thought when I had a son, when he turned 21, I would8:27
  218. do the same thing for him.8:32
  219. But you know what?8:33
  220. Forget a tradition dead.8:34
  221. No.8:36
  222. No way.8:36
  223. I came all this way.8:37
  224. You could not not have a beer with me.8:38
  225. This is happening, dad.8:40
  226. Here I am approaching the fridge, grabbing a beer, tradition alive again.8:42
  227. Nope.8:45
  228. Look at me having a drink with my dad and you can't stop me.8:46
  229. Oh my God, Axel's got a beer.8:48
  230. He's legal now, Sue.8:50
  231. It's allowed.8:52
  232. This beer having with my dad is so good.8:53
  233. You may be having a beer, but you're not having one with me because I'm going out for a beer by myself.8:55
  234. No, no, no, no.8:59
  235. They showed a video on health class, Sammy drinks after school and this is exactly what happened.9:02
  236. Alcohol is tearing our family apart.9:06
  237. Calm down, everybody calm down.9:09
  238. Did you get the socks?9:12
  239. Whoa, Pete Fass, you have to be 21 to get in here.9:18
  240. Let me see some ID.9:21
  241. Actually, I just turned 21.9:22
  242. So, uh, thanks for cardin' me.9:25
  243. Yeah, I'm sorry.9:29
  244. I'm not buying it.9:30
  245. I have to cut this up.9:31
  246. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, hold on.9:31
  247. That's my license.9:32
  248. Dad, tell him I'm 21.9:34
  249. Oh, you gotta believe me.9:39
  250. I mean, would he be ignoring me this much if he wasn't my real dad?9:41
  251. Dad, there's the only license I have.9:44
  252. I already sold my fake one to my friend.9:46
  253. Dad!9:48
  254. Right, all right.9:49
  255. I vouch for him.9:50
  256. He's 21.9:51
  257. All right.9:58
  258. Hi.10:01
  259. Hey.10:02
  260. What do you have?10:04
  261. I'm gonna buy this guy a beer and I'll have, uh, what kind of European beers do you have?10:05
  262. He'll have an American beer and I might.10:16
  263. It was February.10:21
  264. I was lying on the concrete basement floor.10:23
  265. My mom was doing laundry.10:27
  266. It was February.10:29
  267. And I was thinking, man, spring is never gonna come.10:30
  268. There's never gonna be grass again.10:35
  269. What?10:37
  270. And now?10:40
  271. It goes fast, is what I'm saying.10:45
  272. A minute ago, I was sitting in your seat.10:48
  273. Were you here before I came in here?10:52
  274. No.10:54
  275. I mean, it seems like I was just 21.10:55
  276. Let's just drink.11:02
  277. Drink.11:15
  278. Watch what's passed me by.11:24
  279. This one?11:26
  280. Mm -hmm.11:26
  281. Let's final over!11:29
  282. My brain hurts so much, Kenny.11:32
  283. Wake me in 20 so I can get my party on.11:34
  284. Whoa.11:37
  285. How long did I sleep?11:49
  286. All right.11:52
  287. I'm here for your room check.11:53
  288. Yeah, whatever, Julia.11:55
  289. It's Julian.11:56
  290. Shelves, check, light bulb, check.11:58
  291. Where's your desk?12:02
  292. I don't know.12:03
  293. You're the RA.12:04
  294. Aren't you supposed to know where stuff is?12:05
  295. I have many responsibilities, none of which include keeping up with your belongings that have been solely loaned to you for the duration of the rental period.12:07
  296. Either find it or you're not leaving.12:14
  297. Man, you were so cool at the beginning of the year.12:17
  298. Welcome.12:19
  299. Let me show you to your room.12:19
  300. Whatever happened to that guy?12:20
  301. How the hell do you lose a desk?12:24
  302. Oh, a mountain on the floor.12:26
  303. Did anybody see you?12:27
  304. Tell me you at least put an old sheet of your head in the elevator.12:28
  305. Hey, this is no picnic for me either.12:30
  306. I finally had the house to myself.12:32
  307. I was going to take a bath and maybe light a candle.12:33
  308. Oh, excuse me.12:39
  309. Hello?12:40
  310. You're the RA, right?12:41
  311. I'm Axel's mom.12:42
  312. Do you have to tell everybody?12:43
  313. Listen, we're sorry about the desk.12:45
  314. I'm sure it's not lost.12:47
  315. It's just been misplaced.12:48
  316. He has the same problem at home.12:49
  317. So if you could just check us out, we would really appreciate it.12:51
  318. Oh, sure.12:55
  319. You can check out whenever you want.12:56
  320. Thank you.12:57
  321. See?12:59
  322. Simple.13:00
  323. That's how you get it done.13:00
  324. Of course I will be keeping your $200 deposit.13:02
  325. When you're economically challenged, your time is worth nothing.13:10
  326. So Axel and I split up and spent hours combing the dorm for his crappy desk.13:13
  327. Sorry, sorry.13:18
  328. Make good choices.13:20
  329. Axel, are you kidding me?13:25
  330. This is you looking for your desk?13:27
  331. Okay, I was looking, but Scott's been on the last rage of the year and I slept through all the other parties.13:29
  332. Well, did you even ask them about your desk?13:34
  333. Sorry to bring the party down, everybody, but we're looking for Axel's desk.13:37
  334. It looks like one of these three.13:41
  335. Wait, why are there three in here?13:44
  336. Three oh five!13:48
  337. This is it.13:49
  338. Oh yeah, dude.13:50
  339. I barged your desk.13:51
  340. Sorry to break up the party, but I need to take this desk.13:53
  341. Oh no, we're not going to do that.13:56
  342. Whoa, whoa, whoa.13:57
  343. This'll make you a deal, Mom.13:58
  344. Hit the next shot.14:00
  345. The desk is yours.14:01
  346. Otherwise, it's ours for the night.14:02
  347. What do you think I did in college?14:09
  348. Everybody, everybody get out.14:22
  349. Good morning.14:36
  350. Hey, how'd the desk get here?14:39
  351. What's your big guy's carry to damn while you wrote on top screaming I'm queen of the world?14:42
  352. I'll understand if you have to transfer out.14:49
  353. Actually, don't get all in my face about it, but you're kind of less embarrassing than I thought you would be.14:56
  354. Very unmom -like.15:02
  355. Really?15:04
  356. See, I am a person besides the mom, Axel, and that just goes to show you.15:05
  357. Oh, okay.15:11
  358. You're ruining it trying to make up less than that.15:11
  359. I'm not going to get out of here.15:14
  360. Hey, Julia, notice anything different?15:16
  361. Like the desk, maybe?15:20
  362. Go ahead, check it.15:22
  363. Real mature.15:29
  364. I'm going to get a drink later.15:30
  365. Well, if I haven't blossomed, then why would I have gotten invited to the seventh and eighth grade boy girl party?15:35
  366. Huh?15:42
  367. You were invited to a boy girl party?15:43
  368. Uh -huh, by an eighth grader.15:45
  369. He asked Carly to come and then she asked if she could bring her friend and the guy said yes.15:47
  370. No boy girl parties.15:51
  371. Mom, that is totally unfair.15:54
  372. We are like the only two people in the class that haven't been to one yet and then all of a sudden Carly got invited and now this is our15:56
  373. chance.16:01
  374. Please, mom, please.16:02
  375. I didn't say that you couldn't, but your dad and I have to discuss it.16:05
  376. No boy girl parties.16:09
  377. End of discussion.16:10
  378. Axel was going to boy girl parties when he was 12.16:11
  379. Yeah, well, we were bad parents then.16:14
  380. We've learned from our mistakes.16:16
  381. I am growing up.16:17
  382. Why can't you guys just trust that the values you instilled in me are strong enough to keep me from making bad decisions?16:19
  383. Mike, she's in junior high now.16:26
  384. She's ready.16:29
  385. But I'm not.16:30
  386. Oh.16:32
  387. Oh, my first boy girl party.16:40
  388. How do I look?16:44
  389. Very pretty.16:46
  390. Be a good girl.16:49
  391. Dad.16:52
  392. Okay, okay.16:53
  393. Have fun.16:55
  394. Bible fun.16:56
  395. God sees everything you do.16:58
  396. Even in the dark.17:00
  397. Wow, Sue.17:01
  398. He looks so pretty with all that makeup.17:03
  399. Like a Kardashian.17:05
  400. I feel like one.17:06
  401. Let's make a pact that won't leave each other the whole night.17:10
  402. Okay.17:14
  403. Hey, you want to dance?17:16
  404. Okay.17:18
  405. Go.17:22
  406. Go, it's fine.17:23
  407. I need to check my eye shadow anyway.17:24
  408. Hey, Carly's friend.17:39
  409. We're about to play Have You Ever and Would You Rather and Never Ever Have I Ever?17:41
  410. Come on, everybody's doing it.17:45
  411. Want a beer?17:48
  412. I brought it from home.17:49
  413. No.17:50
  414. No, I don't.17:51
  415. Well, then you want to make out?17:53
  416. Everybody, just leave me alone.17:55
  417. Hi, honey.18:01
  418. Hey, Sue.18:05
  419. Everyone is making up everywhere and there is beer.18:06
  420. Someone brought beer?18:09
  421. Who has beer?18:10
  422. Oh, I don't know.18:12
  423. Some guy with pretty hair.18:13
  424. And they lit up incense.18:15
  425. I'm not sure if it's illegal or not, but I'm pretty sure it is.18:17
  426. I really want to come home, but then everyone is going to think I'm an immature dork for wanting to leave.18:19
  427. I'll be right there.18:24
  428. Oh, my God.18:27
  429. You were right.18:29
  430. She wasn't ready for this.18:30
  431. I'm sorry.18:31
  432. Did you just say I was right and you were wrong?18:33
  433. This is my fifth favorite moment.18:37
  434. Don't move from here.18:40
  435. Where's my daughter?18:43
  436. Sue Heck?18:45
  437. Sue Heck!18:48
  438. I know you're in here.18:49
  439. I told you I didn't want you to come here tonight.18:53
  440. We are leaving immediately.18:56
  441. And if I ever catch you sneaking out of the house again...18:58
  442. And it's not going to help you to beg me to let you stay just one more hour.19:02
  443. Oh, my God.19:10
  444. You're the worst dad ever.19:11
  445. Can you believe this?19:13
  446. Just as the party was getting good.19:14
  447. Man, this stinks.19:17
  448. Mr.19:20
  449. Heck, my dad didn't want me to come here either, did he?19:21
  450. No, he did not.19:24
  451. You're coming with us.19:25
  452. Get in the car.19:26
  453. Thank you so much, Mr.19:27
  454. Heck.19:28
  455. Be cool.19:29
  456. We're going to come.19:29
  457. This is my fiction.19:33
  458. I've got something that might make you feel better.19:36
  459. It's in the basement.19:38
  460. Oh, honey.19:39
  461. That was fun once, but that old mattress is so icky.19:40
  462. Get your mind out of that gutter.19:42
  463. Kids, come on.19:44
  464. I want to show you something in the basement.19:45
  465. A pool table?19:49
  466. Yep.19:50
  467. And I got that weird smell out of the mini fridge, too.19:51
  468. Whoa.19:53
  469. I can't believe how awesome you guys are.19:54
  470. Well, it's the shock in your voice that makes it all worthwhile.19:55
  471. You are awesome, honey.19:59
  472. I'm not going to argue with you.20:01
  473. Can we afford this?20:02
  474. Can we afford free?20:04
  475. Cheaters want out of business.20:06
  476. Oh, the economy's bad when the bars go under.20:07
  477. Hey, is it okay if I bring my friends over?20:11
  478. Well, we were thinking this was more of a family thing, but I guess if you want to make a kind of a home base, I don't see why not.20:13
  479. Who's got the cool house now?20:22
  480. Brick, are you licking the chalk?20:26
  481. I'll never eat white chalk again.20:28
  482. Mr.20:32
  483. Heck, I was standing job on the pool table.20:33
  484. On behalf of the whole neighborhood, thank you.20:37
  485. You're welcome, Sean.20:39
  486. Glad you're having fun.20:40
  487. Yeah, we're out of bean dip.20:41
  488. One step ahead of you.20:43
  489. Made a snack run yesterday.20:45
  490. Excellent foresight in planning, Mr.20:47
  491. Heck.20:49
  492. A -1.20:50
  493. Your dad set you up with bean dip over at your house?20:51
  494. No, sir, he does not.20:54
  495. Axl, your dad rules.20:56
  496. Yes, I do.21:00
  497. Hey.21:02
  498. So, Nancy Donahue out on porch looking over at our house?21:03
  499. Think she's jealous.21:06
  500. She should be.21:07
  501. It's pretty fun over here.21:08
  502. Oh, hey, Carly.21:11
  503. I just came over to check out the pool table.21:13
  504. Mike, you're lucky.21:16
  505. I'm stuck at work with a lunatic, and you're here being the cool dad.21:18
  506. I wanted to be the cool parent.21:21
  507. Well, if you want, I can let you take down the pizza rolls.21:22
  508. Could I?21:27
  509. Yes, but you have to let him know that I'm the one who cooked them.21:28
  510. With me trapped at work with loony tunes, Mike was beginning to think the fun house wasn't all that fun for him.21:34
  511. Mr.21:39
  512. Heck, please let us help you with that.21:39
  513. Thanks, guys.21:42
  514. Hey, there's raw chicken in there.21:45
  515. Yeah, never mind.21:48
  516. Hems.21:52
  517. Question 17.21:53
  518. Now that you're the mom of the house, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.21:54
  519. I'm not the mom of anything.21:58
  520. You got chalk on your face.22:01
  521. Come here.22:02
  522. Go to your room.22:06
  523. I've seen this.22:08
  524. It chicks a dude.22:09
  525. Really?22:10
  526. Who are you?22:12
  527. Logan.22:14
  528. How you know Axel?22:14
  529. Who's Axel?22:16
  530. This is my room now.22:24
  531. I've had enough of the fun house.22:26
  532. I tried to make you happy, but I'm done with that.22:27
  533. I'm sorry.22:30
  534. I thought it would be more fun.22:31
  535. Let's just ship them all back to the Donahue's.22:33
  536. Good luck.22:36
  537. We're out of food and they still won't leave.22:37
  538. I say we flood the basement.22:39
  539. I have a better idea.22:41
  540. Mr.22:45
  541. Heck, can I talk to you?22:46
  542. Absolutely not.22:47
  543. I've decided to take a break from girls for a while.22:49
  544. Probably wise until you figure things out.22:51
  545. Good luck.22:53
  546. Whoa, Hardyfell, what are you doing down here?23:00
  547. We just thought we'd check out the haps, see what's going on down here.23:02
  548. Hey buddy, proud of the good work you did yesterday.23:16
  549. Looks like you really learned a lot in the class.23:19
  550. Yeah, so I'm done now, right?23:21
  551. I worked out all my social issues.23:24
  552. Social issues?23:28
  553. Well, son, you're never really done.23:29
  554. You can always try to better yourself.23:32
  555. I think I'm probably as good as I'm gonna get.23:34
  556. We did the thing, got the pizza party.23:37
  557. I'm done.23:40
  558. Here's the thing, Brick.23:46
  559. Everyone can always improve, even me.23:48
  560. I might not always set the best example for you.23:51
  561. I'm not always the most social guy.23:55
  562. But don't get me wrong, I was popular.23:58
  563. Really popular.24:00
  564. Wow, the stripes on your shirt are thicker going up and down, and then thinner going sideways.24:01
  565. Look, Brick, we got this big barbecue coming up.24:08
  566. What do you say you and me go out there and really try to be social?24:11
  567. It'll be like our spring training.24:15
  568. Our what?24:17
  569. Is that a sports thing?24:19
  570. Yeah, sports.24:21
  571. I don't know much about that, but I'd be interested in hearing what you have to say.24:24
  572. Outta boy.24:28
  573. Ready to hit this party and socialize?24:30
  574. What are we gonna do?24:33
  575. Look, people in the eye.24:34
  576. What are we not gonna do?24:35
  577. Walk away while people are still talking to us.24:36
  578. All right, mingle on three.24:39
  579. One, two.24:40
  580. Is that a sports thing again?24:43
  581. Seriously, Brick, you beat 100 books a day.24:45
  582. Can't one of them be about sports?24:47
  583. I was really touched watching them.24:50
  584. Two socially awkward creatures, one giant, one tiny, clearly out of their element, but willing to try.24:53
  585. I just hope they did better than Bob at the grill.25:00
  586. Hi, my name's Brick.25:05
  587. So, what do you like to do?25:07
  588. Ah!25:09
  589. Oh, hi, sorry.25:12
  590. I was just looking for a serving spoon for the macaroni salad.25:14
  591. Um, I think it should be...25:17
  592. right here.25:21
  593. How about that?25:22
  594. Got it on the first try.25:23
  595. Thanks.25:24
  596. Need some help carrying this stuff out?25:25
  597. Oh, thought it'd be great.25:27
  598. Thanks.25:29
  599. I asked Brian to come in and help me, but I hope they can even herd me.25:30
  600. But that's pretty typical these days.25:33
  601. I understand.25:35
  602. Really?25:37
  603. Did you send something the other night at the dinner party?25:39
  604. Because he's just...25:42
  605. No, you know what?25:44
  606. Sorry.25:45
  607. I don't want to bore you with my relationship troubles.25:45
  608. Oh, I don't know much about that, but I'd be very interested in hearing what you have to say.25:48
  609. You would?25:53
  610. I think we got off on the wrong foot last time.25:56
  611. I brought you some cake.25:58
  612. Forks are inside!26:05
  613. It's like you wanted all these things, but then you can't remember what it was you wanted.26:10
  614. I hear you.26:16
  615. It's like something's missing.26:18
  616. You're restless.26:20
  617. Sure.26:21
  618. I've had that feeling myself.26:22
  619. You have?26:23
  620. Well, I just...26:26
  621. feel like you get me in a way that will...26:28
  622. no one has gotten me in a very long time.26:31
  623. I'm glad.26:33
  624. I'm glad.26:36
  625. God, Mike, the way you're looking at me...26:37
  626. you've never looked at me like this.26:40
  627. Thanks for noticing.26:42
  628. This is crazy.26:44
  629. When you wake up in the morning, you think your life's gonna go one way, and then it takes a turn you didn't expect.26:46
  630. Uh...26:55
  631. So, how do you want to play this?26:55
  632. I'm done talking to you now.27:00
  633. Socializing is hard.27:04
  634. Harder than I thought.27:05
  635. What happened to you?27:07
  636. I offered a boy a cake and he punched me.27:08
  637. I got offered something, too.27:12
  638. You know, buddy, I've been thinking, maybe we're meant to be who we're meant to be.27:14
  639. And it's when we start trying to change who we're meant to be that things get messed up.27:19
  640. Sounds like an excuse, but Mom probably fall for it.27:23
  641. No, I mean it.27:27
  642. Brick, are you happy?27:28
  643. Yes.27:30
  644. Are you happy?27:31
  645. Yes.27:32
  646. So why are we letting people try to change us?27:33
  647. We're fine just the way we are.27:35
  648. So, do I still have to go to the social group?27:38
  649. Uh, Brick, that's kind of your Mom's thing.27:41
  650. She wants you to go.27:43
  651. Just go for now.27:45
  652. Eventually she'll get tired of driving you.27:46
  653. So Axel spent a grand total of 27 hours at home.27:51
  654. Most of it sleeping, but it was all worth it when he came in and said, LATE SOME HIDDEN TO FLORIDA!27:55
  655. Wait, so you're leaving now?28:00
  656. Yep.28:02
  657. Driving straight through because I was going to meet in time to hit the beach tomorrow.28:03
  658. Next time you see me, my flesh will be burnt to a crisp.28:06
  659. So you're just going to drive all night then?28:09
  660. Yep.28:11
  661. Did you check your car?28:12
  662. Did you put new duct tape on the headlight?28:13
  663. Do you have enough gas?28:15
  664. It's covered.28:16
  665. So do you have directions to where you're going?28:17
  666. I'm not an idiot.28:18
  667. Wait, those are your directions?28:20
  668. It's a napkin with a map on it.28:22
  669. It's a mapkin.28:24
  670. Later.28:25
  671. Okay, well drive safe.28:25
  672. If you get tired, pull over.28:27
  673. You're coming back Monday, right?28:28
  674. Yes.28:29
  675. To this house.28:30
  676. We'll see.28:31
  677. That can't be good.28:42
  678. You have a collect call from Axel.28:49
  679. Would you like to accept the charges?28:53
  680. Yes.28:55
  681. Hello?28:56
  682. Uh, Mommy?28:58
  683. You are not going to believe this.29:01
  684. I just got a call from Axel.29:03
  685. He took off for Florida without even checking his oil, and now his car is ruined.29:05
  686. He's got no money, no way to get home.29:10
  687. And he called me collector because he forgot his phone charger.29:12
  688. Tell me, based on everything we know about Axel, why wouldn't I believe that?29:14
  689. He wants us to come to Chattanooga and pick him up.29:18
  690. I wouldn't recommend walking on these boots for at least half an hour.29:20
  691. That's stupid.29:23
  692. Why would you even think about doing that?29:24
  693. Because he's our son and he's on the side of the road.29:26
  694. He's Mr.29:28
  695. Smart Guy.29:29
  696. He got himself into this, let him get himself out.29:30
  697. You're right.29:32
  698. He's horrible.29:32
  699. He is disrespectful.29:33
  700. There's no reason anyone should lift a finger to help him.29:35
  701. And now I'm getting in my car to go get him.29:38
  702. I don't know how to do this anymore, Axel.29:45
  703. Do what?29:48
  704. Yes.29:50
  705. You say you want me to treat you like an adult.29:52
  706. You want to do whatever you want, go wherever you want.29:54
  707. You don't want me asking you any questions, but you want me to come and pick you up when your car breaks down.29:57
  708. I'm confused.30:03
  709. Am I your mom?30:04
  710. Am I not your mom?30:05
  711. I don't know what you want from me.30:07
  712. Good luck with some chips.30:09
  713. You know, just be honest with me, and really, I don't even care what your answer is.30:14
  714. When you were staying with the Donahue's, did you think I'd be mad?30:19
  715. Did you think I'd be hurt?30:23
  716. I don't know.30:25
  717. I guess I wasn't really thinking about you at all.30:26
  718. Wow.30:30
  719. Wow, wow, wow.30:31
  720. Look, it's not like I don't want you to be my mom or that I don't want to see you.30:33
  721. It's just...30:37
  722. you kind of hit my face a lot.30:39
  723. I mean, when you were my age, didn't your parents bug you?30:41
  724. Yeah, but my parents were annoying.30:43
  725. Listen, this is all new territory for me, too, Axel.30:47
  726. You're my first.30:51
  727. I'm kind of flying blind here, so help me out.30:53
  728. Tell me what you want.30:56
  729. I don't know.30:59
  730. You can ask me less questions.31:01
  731. And when I call home, you can maybe try not to tell me some long story about some kid I was friends with in preschool who started a website.31:04
  732. And you can stare at me less.31:12
  733. Sometimes I notice you staring at me for no reason.31:15
  734. If I'm staring at you, it's because I think you have the most beautiful eyes and perfect rosy cheeks that you got from your great -grandmother, and I just love31:18
  735. you so much.31:27
  736. Oh, come on, Mom.31:29
  737. You're making this weird.31:30
  738. Look, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.31:31
  739. Honestly, I really didn't mean to.31:34
  740. If you're not on, I'll try to tell you about more stuff that's going on in my life and try to stay at the neighbor's less when I come home,31:35
  741. but you got to stop worrying about me so much.31:42
  742. Axel, I'm your mom.31:44
  743. I'm never going to stop worrying about you, but I'll try to be cooler about it.31:46
  744. And I'll try not to bore you with my long stories on the phone, but I am going to stare at you, all right?31:51
  745. Just am.31:57
  746. Bill.31:58
  747. Hey, it's not like I'm going in your room and sniffing your pillow.31:59
  748. Yeah.32:03
  749. Don't know why you even wanted that.32:04
  750. Doesn't work.32:06
  751. You never know when you need a backup.32:07
  752. You already got six busted dishwasher sitting in your yard.32:09
  753. Now I got seven.32:13
  754. I'll just hoist it up on the truck there, and I'll be out of your hair.32:14
  755. Hang on.32:17
  756. Let me do it.32:17
  757. No, I don't want to be a bother.32:18
  758. Not a bother, Dad.32:20
  759. If you have a heart attack trying to move it, that's going to be a bother.32:21
  760. Don't scratch it.32:24
  761. Hi, Dad.32:26
  762. Hi, Grandpa Big Mike.32:27
  763. Hey there, Brick.32:28
  764. I found a four -leaf clover.32:29
  765. It's good luck, you know.32:31
  766. See, Brick, you put down the books for a second.32:32
  767. Can I be done being outside now?32:34
  768. Yeah.32:35
  769. Fine.32:36
  770. Hey, hang on.32:38
  771. What's that on your neck?32:40
  772. Looks like you picked up a tick.32:41
  773. What?32:43
  774. It's all right.32:45
  775. We'll get out of there with some tweezers and put some cream or something on there.32:45
  776. If it's too deep, we'll call the doctor.32:48
  777. Doctor, what do you want to call a doctor for?32:50
  778. I'll just burn it off of him right here.32:52
  779. Uh, yeah.32:55
  780. I don't know how I feel about burning things off my neck.32:56
  781. Or any place, really.32:59
  782. Relax, Dad.33:00
  783. We got it.33:01
  784. Well, all right, but if that head buries, you know what's going to happen.33:02
  785. I don't.33:06
  786. What's going to happen?33:07
  787. I used to cut ticks out of you all the time, and you're still here, aren't you?33:08
  788. I'm not burning or cutting anything off of or out of my son, okay?33:11
  789. Wow.33:15
  790. When did you get so soft?33:16
  791. I guess I always wanted a daughter.33:18
  792. Dad, enough.33:20
  793. Well, I'm just saying.33:21
  794. That's not how I raised you.33:22
  795. Don't talk about how you raised me.33:25
  796. You weren't around that much, okay?33:26
  797. You didn't do that great a job.33:28
  798. Well, I guess I'm done here.33:32
  799. I'll just get on down the road.33:35
  800. Thanks for the dishwasher.33:38
  801. Uh, hello.33:42
  802. I'm still very interested to know what happens if the head buries.33:44
  803. Head buries?33:48
  804. Well, I have terrible news.33:50
  805. Come to the right place.33:52
  806. The library is closing due to budget cuts.33:53
  807. Oh, no.33:56
  808. That's where I dump you all summer for free babysitting.33:56
  809. What's happening to me?33:59
  810. First the tick, then the library closing, and the paper cut I just got.34:01
  811. As soon as I got this clover, my life started falling apart.34:09
  812. If you think about it, there's really only one plausible explanation.34:12
  813. This clover is evil.34:17
  814. Evil.34:20
  815. What about the lady who took care of your dad when he broke his hip?34:23
  816. Would he remember her name?34:26
  817. I'm not talking about dad anymore.34:27
  818. Oh, gee.34:29
  819. What are you going to do with the extra four words a year?34:30
  820. Hey, Rick.34:32
  821. You'll never guess what I found outside.34:34
  822. How lucky are you that I saw it.34:37
  823. Hi, Grandpa Big Mike.34:43
  824. Dad says I'm supposed to get our dishes out of the old dishwasher.34:46
  825. Okay.34:49
  826. Looks like your dad's finally got you doing something for yourself.34:50
  827. Ugh.34:54
  828. You know, Dad, you got a problem with the way I'm raising my kids.34:57
  829. Why don't you just say it?35:01
  830. Oh, it's not for me to say.35:03
  831. They're your kids.35:04
  832. Yeah, they are, Dad.35:05
  833. My kids.35:06
  834. And you got a - Stupid clover!35:07
  835. Hey, Rick, Rick.35:10
  836. What are you doing?35:12
  837. Be careful with that.35:13
  838. What?35:17
  839. Nothing.35:18
  840. Nothing?35:19
  841. No.35:21
  842. You're right.35:21
  843. You're right.35:22
  844. That is soft.35:23
  845. Rick, forget the hammer.35:25
  846. How'd you like to use a chainsaw?35:27
  847. Here, let me fire it up for you.35:29
  848. Um, I'm not even allowed to use an electric toothbrush.35:31
  849. Aw, what are you worried about?35:34
  850. Your dad was using a chainsaw when he was half your age.35:35
  851. No.35:38
  852. You know what?35:39
  853. Chainsaws are for softies.35:40
  854. I bet we could do better, huh, Dad?35:41
  855. How about the blow torch?35:43
  856. Oh, nothing wrong with a boy learning how to use a blow torch.35:44
  857. Go ahead, Rick.35:49
  858. Your grandpa's gonna make you a man.35:50
  859. Thanks, but I think I'll stay a boy for now.35:52
  860. Come on.35:54
  861. It's just 3 ,000 degrees of searing heat.35:55
  862. Nothing to be afraid of.35:57
  863. Grandpa says it's okay.35:58
  864. Teach him how to use it properly.36:00
  865. I don't think it's such a big deal.36:01
  866. Okay.36:04
  867. What's it gonna be, Rick?36:04
  868. Chainsaw or blow torch?36:06
  869. Fire or steel?36:07
  870. You know, I'm thinking the clover might not be the source of the curse after all.36:13
  871. I think it might be genetics.36:20
  872. At least now I can keep the four leaf clover.36:23
  873. They're actually kind of rare.36:26
  874. Uh -oh.36:28
  875. Where'd it go?36:31
  876. Oh, you're not gonna spend all night looking for his silly clover, are you?36:34
  877. Wouldn't have caught me doing that for you when you was a kid.36:39
  878. I know.36:43
  879. Hang on, son.36:49
  880. I think maybe I have another flashlight around here somewhere.36:50
  881. Pack it in and hit in the road?37:04
  882. My scout troop's going camping this weekend.37:06
  883. Camping?37:09
  884. Remember what that is, right?37:09
  885. When we slept in a tent outside with the bugs?37:11
  886. I know.37:13
  887. I want to get my camping badge, but I can't go if I don't get that check, so...37:14
  888. Yeah, about that.37:19
  889. Look, Rick, we can't afford to just fork over 40 bucks for something you're just gonna quit.37:21
  890. I get your concern.37:25
  891. I understand I've been a quitter in the past.37:27
  892. That's mom's influence.37:29
  893. Yeah, probably.37:31
  894. But not this time.37:32
  895. I'm committed, Dad.37:34
  896. I'm in it till the end.37:35
  897. Okay, well, you realize the end is not tomorrow.37:36
  898. We're gonna get our 40 bucks worth of fun out of this, no matter how miserable you are.37:39
  899. It's all good, Dad.37:42
  900. I've got this.37:43
  901. Hey, uh, is this your social skills group?37:51
  902. Yeah.37:54
  903. We went to a regular scouting before, but after a few weeks they decided to give us our own troop.37:55
  904. Was that nice?37:59
  905. You know what time it is, boy?38:01
  906. I'll tell you what time it is.38:03
  907. It's late o 'clock.38:05
  908. Told you we didn't have time to stop for a sausage biscuit.38:06
  909. My cat, Rick's dad.38:09
  910. Okay, I got him.38:11
  911. You can go.38:12
  912. Yeah, hey, uh, maybe I didn't read the permissions too clearly, but where exactly are you taking him?38:14
  913. We're going out there.38:20
  914. The deep woods where a man can get lost, where he's got no past, no future, only the now.38:22
  915. Uh -huh.38:32
  916. And, uh, where is that exactly?38:34
  917. Oh, no, soldier.38:37
  918. That's classified.38:38
  919. He's got my axe.38:39
  920. Tell him it's my turn with the axe.38:41
  921. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.38:43
  922. Hey, that's the way you hold a knife when you're whittling.38:46
  923. Oh, I see.38:52
  924. Thanks, Mr.38:53
  925. Stokes.38:54
  926. I'll tell you what, Mr.38:56
  927. Stokes, while you're getting lost in the deep woods, these kids are going to be doing something else.38:57
  928. But, dad, this is the most I've ever not quit something my whole life.39:02
  929. What are we all supposed to do now?39:05
  930. So Mike found himself the unwitting scout master of Troop Crazy.39:11
  931. All right.39:15
  932. You all got your waters.39:16
  933. Now go to bed.39:18
  934. Can we get a bedtime story, Mr.39:19
  935. Heck?39:21
  936. I can't sleep without a bedtime story.39:21
  937. According to this manual, we're supposed to practice a duck and cover drill in case the dirty commies lob a nuke at us during the night.39:24
  938. No.39:30
  939. We already built the fire, ate hot dogs, made a compass with a leaf, and practiced your salute.39:31
  940. Let's just go to bed.39:36
  941. Ow.39:38
  942. Sick.39:39
  943. Where you been?39:40
  944. I've been calling for you.39:42
  945. No more chasing birds.39:43
  946. It's lights out.39:44
  947. I'm hungry.39:45
  948. Ham and cheese.39:47
  949. Mr.39:50
  950. Heck?39:50
  951. I'm having a sock issue.39:52
  952. They touched the ground.39:54
  953. It's okay.39:55
  954. Use your backup socks.39:56
  955. I did already.39:58
  956. And my backup backup socks.39:59
  957. This is an emergency.40:01
  958. I need to go home.40:02
  959. Oh, no, you can't.40:04
  960. No one's here at the house.40:05
  961. If I take you home, I gotta take everybody else with me.40:07
  962. How about I get you pair of my socks?40:10
  963. Unacceptable.40:12
  964. Unacceptable.40:13
  965. Unacceptable.40:14
  966. Can I sit up, bro, with you, Mr.40:15
  967. Heck?40:17
  968. You're easy to talk to.40:18
  969. Here, kitty, kitty.40:33
  970. Kitty.40:35
  971. Ow.40:36
  972. Back it off, Zach.40:38
  973. Go back to sleep.40:39
  974. Ow, ow, ow, ow.40:40
  975. Rick, you should pull the plug on this thing.40:42
  976. I am not quitting, Dad.40:45
  977. I'm in it to win it.40:46
  978. Do you want me to tell Zach you'll take him home so we don't wake the other kids?40:48
  979. Mike didn't know it, but his night was just beginning.40:52
  980. One by one, he took each kid home from dusk all the way till dawn.40:55
  981. Rick, if you want to go in the house, just go, but let me sleep.41:01
  982. No, it's morning.41:05
  983. I did it.41:07
  984. Now, would you please sign this saying that I showed perseverance in the face of difficult obstacles and handled myself in a scout -like manner worthy of a camping badge?41:08
  985. I'd say we both did.41:17
  986. Now, I need you to go get your mom, roll me back onto my sleeping bag, and drag me into the house.41:19
  987. You gonna hug me again?41:34
  988. No.41:37
  989. I mean, I want to, but I can wait.41:37
  990. I've been thinking a lot about everything Mom said, and you guys are right.41:40
  991. I need to just pick one major.41:44
  992. So, just tell me what you want me to do, and I will do it.41:46
  993. What?41:50
  994. I'm not gonna do that.41:50
  995. Why not?41:52
  996. You told Axel to major it.41:53
  997. Axel needed to be told to close his mouth when he takes a shower.41:55
  998. But you gave up everything for me.41:57
  999. I don't want to disappoint you or make another mistake.41:59
  1000. Tell me what you want me to do.42:02
  1001. You have to, please.42:04
  1002. Look, you were never supposed to know what happened with the business.42:09
  1003. That was my choice, and maybe I didn't do you any favors trying to protect you, but I just didn't think you should have to worry about that.42:13
  1004. You're asking me what I want for you.42:20
  1005. I don't know.42:23
  1006. I'll tell you what I don't want for you.42:24
  1007. I don't want you to be on a first name basis with the operator from the gas company, even though Joyce is very nice and lets us spread the bill42:26
  1008. over three credit cards.42:32
  1009. I don't want you to have to share a battery between both your cars.42:33
  1010. I don't want you to have to hope for a tornado to bring your next appliance.42:37
  1011. I'm not trying to scare you, kid, but it's hard sometimes, living like we do.42:42
  1012. And what I hope for you is just that it can be different.42:50
  1013. Okay.42:57
  1014. Okay?42:58
  1015. Okay.43:00
  1016. Okay.43:03
  1017. Okay.43:10

American accent training in a fast Heck family scene

This clip is a sitcom scene from the Heck family, the kind of overlapping, panicked kid dialogue where five siblings talk over each other about money. It sits at B2 and moves at 248 words per minute, faster than 93 percent of the catalogue, so it is genuinely good american accent training material rather than a slowed down teaching clip.

The setup is simple. Sue overhears her dad's paycheck, panics, and blurts the family secret to her siblings, who each react in one or two lines. Because the exchanges are so short, this is also solid daily english conversation practice: real interruptions, real reactions, nobody finishing a full formal sentence.

English shadowing practice with three lines from the Heck kids

Three lines here reward more than one pass. Quote them exactly as said, not as you would tidy them up, because the mess is the point of shadowing this scene.

  • "I checked the whole neighborhood, but this is all the poop I could find." A flat, deadpan delivery on an absurd sentence. The comedy is in keeping the intonation completely ordinary, so match the pitch, not the content.
  • "Sue, we go out after tornadoes looking for clothes." Notice how "tornadoes" gets almost no extra stress even though it is the strangest word in the line. Native speakers do not slow down for a rare word, they keep the sentence rhythm level.
  • "you work all the time, and our TV has a weird squiggly line down the middle." A run on clause stacked onto a longer speech, with "squiggly" thrown away at normal speed rather than emphasised. Say it once at full speed before you try to slow it down.

How to practise english speaking through this scene, line by line

Work this clip in order rather than jumping around. The lines get harder as the kids get more worked up, so build up speed the same way the scene does.

  • Start with line 7, "I checked the whole neighborhood, but this is all the poop I could find." It is short and complete, use it to lock the flat, unimpressed tone before anything else.
  • Move to line 11, "It's me, Sue." Three words, contracted, said fast. Repeat it until the contraction stops sounding like two separate words in your mouth.
  • Take line 20, "Sue, we go out after tornadoes looking for clothes," and shadow it twice, once for the words, once purely for where the stress falls.
  • Attempt the long line 46, the one that runs "It was just sitting there on the desk, and they didn't like the sticky part, so it was open, and I looked, and I saw how much you make, and" only after the shorter lines feel steady. This is the pace test of the whole scene.
  • Finish on line 52, "you work all the time, and our TV has a weird squiggly line down the middle," and compare your recording against the original. If "squiggly" survives at speed, the line is done.
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