Pratique du shadowing : Brooklyn 99 Moments That Make Me Laugh Like an IDIOT
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- I got this one red door I've never been able to open and I hear screams behind it sometimes but it's probably just a wind.0:00
- Leave me alone!0:12
- Leave me alone!0:14
- What the f***?0:15
- You never get me alive!0:16
- Help!0:17
- Help!0:18
- Somebody call the police!0:19
- Here, take care!0:20
- Take care of Sonnyby!0:21
- Oh no!0:23
- Don't hurt me!0:24
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- Don't hurt me!0:25
- Oh, it's you!0:26
- It's us!0:28
- Get in the band!0:29
- Oh, okay!0:30
- Why is little one so mad?0:37
- He's going through something.0:39
- Now stand up, wet wipe your hands and put a bye on your back so we can cuff you.0:40
- Well thank god I'm so tired of running.0:43
- It's only been an hour.0:45
- Today, god will give you a high five.0:52
- Oh, he gave himself a key change.0:57
- So, looks like Operation Nasty is a full -on success, huh?1:13
- You mean Operation Nasty's sex lot.1:18
- Does it weather by now with?1:20
- Didn't you see him flirting with me?1:21
- No, I most definitely did not.1:22
- And you're a blind man and a prude to boot.1:24
- Did you see his tie?1:26
- A single Windsor.1:26
- The easiest not to undo.1:27
- Why bother wearing any clothes at all?1:29
- I think you badly misread that interaction.1:30
- Please, he did everything but lick his lips and purr.1:32
- Get rid of him and bring me someone who can keep it in their slacks.1:35
- Did someone say to take off our slacks?1:38
- No, not even close.1:39
- Oh, well keep me busted.1:41
- My dogs are barking.1:42
- What dogs?1:45
- Hitchcock, you have any surveillance equipment Rosa can borrow?1:47
- You mean my creep kit?1:50
- No problem.1:51
- Got another one in the car.1:52
- See, Amy, that's what a real friend looks like.1:54
- Guys, I have a great idea for a prank.1:57
- Before Holt comes in, I'm gonna put ink on the podium where he puts his hands.2:00
- I don't think you'll fall for that.2:02
- I did?2:04
- How?2:04
- I haven't even opened this yet.2:04
- I guess it's unrelated.2:06
- Captain Holt hates pranks.2:06
- This is gonna backfire, man.2:07
- Ugh, fine.2:08
- I'll tone it down.2:09
- I'll move his podium a foot to the left.2:10
- What?2:12
- He'll be so angry.2:13
- Okay, five inches.2:14
- Five?2:15
- Three?2:15
- Three.2:16
- One?2:16
- One?2:16
- All right, I'll move it a half inch.2:17
- Fine.2:18
- It's your funeral.2:19
- Oh my god.2:19
- First prank ever, so stupid.2:21
- Holt's not even gonna notice.2:23
- Good morning.2:25
- You guys, the podium is...2:29
- You're crazy!2:42
- How did you pull this off?2:43
- Attention squad, put your hands together for the long anticipated reunion of...2:45
- D.2:51
- D.2:52
- C.2:52
- D.2:53
- C.2:54
- D.2:54
- D.2:55
- C.2:55
- Put a J.2:55
- Put a G.2:56
- You get D.2:56
- D.2:57
- C.2:57
- The gas face.2:59
- I finally got all the lambda news back into holding.3:00
- Who had the lambda news?3:03
- Doesn't matter.3:04
- I'll read your notes later.3:04
- I didn't take any notes.3:05
- What the hell, Jake?3:07
- Do you even love me?3:08
- Is that Mr.3:08
- McClain I hear?3:09
- Because someone's about to die.3:10
- Oh my god!3:13
- Oh, I just kept an hold here.3:14
- Because he's gonna...3:15
- Wait, are you dressed like Bonnie Baddily on Die Hard?3:16
- I am.3:19
- For sexy reasons?3:19
- Yes.3:20
- Oh boy.3:21
- Oh, hey babe.3:24
- Oh, it's me, Jake!3:25
- I'm just working!3:28
- What is wrong with you?3:29
- What are you doing?3:29
- Why do you have a knife?3:30
- Why am I covered in red post -its?3:31
- That's blood.3:33
- You're the corpse.3:34
- Jake, who is that?3:35
- Franco McCoy, CSI.3:36
- He's helping me with the case.3:38
- For the record, I think it's weird that I'm here too.3:39
- Both of you, get out!3:41
- Yes, that was good.3:42
- Hey guys, I'm just coming from work with my friend, Billy Hanukkah.3:43
- Hanukkah?3:46
- It's fine.3:47
- Kids don't know what's names are weird.3:47
- Nikola, say hi to Jake and this stranger.3:48
- Hi Jake, I love you.3:51
- Nice to meet you, Mr.3:52
- Hanukkah.3:53
- I love you too.3:53
- Man, he really is a boy, isn't he?3:54
- Hello, my little friend.3:55
- Did you have a good day at school?3:56
- We had computer class today.3:58
- I'm your real father.3:59
- My name is Gintars.4:00
- You are my son.4:01
- Why is the man saying he's my father?4:02
- Mr.4:04
- Hanukkah is crazy.4:05
- He has no children of his own and it's driven him mad.4:06
- I'm your father, Nikola.4:08
- His pronouns, Nikola.4:09
- Nikola.4:11
- Nikola.4:11
- Nikola.4:12
- Nikola.4:12
- Nikola.4:13
- Nikola.4:14
- Nikola.4:14
- It's okay, you say it the wrong way.4:15
- Okay, well that was fun.4:16
- Hey, why don't you go play over there, buddy?4:18
- You can take this drugstore receipt.4:20
- It's very long and filled with coupons.4:23
- You can fly it around like a kite.4:24
- Wow, kids are really basic.4:27
- Being a dad is super easy.4:29
- Do not do it.4:30
- What?4:32
- Don't you love your girls?4:33
- So much.4:34
- You should have seen Cagney this morning with the little braids.4:35
- But they are a ton of work, man.4:37
- If you are not totally 100 % sure you want them, you won't survive.4:40
- Is it really that hard?4:44
- Yes.4:45
- I never get any sleep.4:46
- I'm always sick.4:47
- I never get to watch anything I want on TV.4:48
- I still haven't finished Breaking Bad, but I can recite Moana for memory.4:50
- Maui, shapeshifter, demigod of the wind and sea.4:54
- I am Moana.4:57
- Why do I know that?4:58
- I don't want to watch kids movies.5:00
- I want to watch movies for adults.5:01
- Adults in teens.5:02
- And they are getting so manipulative.5:03
- Yesterday, Cagney pretended to be hurt.5:05
- I went in to help her and Lacey snuck in the kitchen and stole two cookies.5:08
- Oh my god, your children are monsters.5:11
- Hey, those are my kids, man.5:13
- Back off.5:14
- Right.5:15
- Dude, is something awkward happening?5:15
- I could probably relate.5:17
- Dish, bitch.5:19
- Rosa got dumped out of the blue because she cares so much about her job.5:20
- It does spend enough time with Jocelyn.5:22
- Ow!5:24
- There's no winning with you.5:24
- Oh, so you got dumped and he didn't see it coming.5:25
- Oh, brother, you are in Boyle country.5:28
- Here's what you're gonna want to do.5:31
- Come on, Boyle.5:33
- They're gonna take you back.5:33
- And don't be afraid to cry.5:34
- I'm talking tears and snot.5:36
- How do you feel?5:37
- Gnawcious.5:38
- Good.5:39
- It's working.5:40
- Good afternoon.5:41
- May I help you?5:42
- We're here all the time.5:42
- Get familiar with these faces or get familiar with the unemployment line.5:44
- I'm so sorry, but I have to check you in.5:47
- I need a member number.5:50
- I don't have my member number with me.5:51
- It's too bad you can't just use my AMEX black card.5:53
- Oh, that's great.5:56
- We can use that.5:56
- You can.5:57
- Well, you think I carry around my own wallet?5:58
- I'm sorry, sir.6:04
- If you could just give me a name, that would be great.6:05
- I'll give you a name, Pompomous Lacroix.6:08
- I'm so sorry, Ms.6:11
- Lacroix.6:12
- You're not in the system.6:12
- This is ridiculous.6:13
- You know what?6:15
- Call Daddy.6:16
- Daddy'll get us in.6:16
- Daddy, the man won't let us into the club.6:18
- Yes, Daddy.6:21
- No, Daddy.6:22
- No.6:23
- Daddy wants to speak with you.6:24
- Gladly.6:25
- Hello, Daddy.6:26
- Yes, Daddy.6:27
- No, Daddy.6:28
- Daddy.6:29
- Oh, good question, Daddy.6:30
- Daddy wants to get this young man fired.6:32
- What is your first and last name?6:34
- Okay, I've got something.6:36
- Oh, that's not Brandon's profile.6:37
- It's mine.6:39
- I just want to quick peek at your attendance record.6:39
- Zero absences.6:41
- Oh, mama.6:43
- I'm printing this for later.6:45
- Keep it in your pants, Santiago.6:46
- Oh, that's exactly where it's going.6:48
- This B needs a C and her A.6:50
- Oh, my God.6:52
- This babe needs a coconut in her arms.6:53
- Oh, I thought you were saying this **** needs a ****.6:56
- Oh, my God.6:59
- Yeah, that was my reaction.7:00
- All right, I'll go get us a couple of coconuts.7:01
- Oops.7:05
- Sorry.7:05
- Can't even float right.7:06
- Just push me away.7:08
- Everyone else does.7:09
- You know what all shows how much you matured?7:10
- You're with a face.7:12
- Now I know why you refer to this as a Suicide Squad Peralta because I already want to kill myself.7:13
- You said your mom didn't tell you anything.7:18
- Do you know what happened?7:20
- Yes, I do.7:20
- And it's none of your business trials.7:21
- Just stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.7:23
- Really, Gina?7:25
- And where does my nose belong if not inside her parents?7:26
- Rosa, I think I just made a connection.7:29
- The number three is everywhere.7:31
- Three people, three types of blood, and guess what the tax was on the veggie wraps?7:33
- $3 and 19 cents.7:39
- But if you ignore the 19, then it's three.7:41
- Okay, you've lost your mind.7:44
- What?7:45
- Who told you that?7:45
- Was it room?7:46
- No, it's the fact that you think the room has a voice and also you're working your boxers.7:47
- To beat the heat, Rosa.7:50
- To beat the heat.7:52
- I could take him to the Russian bath house.7:53
- Has he been?7:54
- No, I'm not some weirdo that takes my eight -year -old to the Russian bath.7:55
- We take our baths at home together as a family like normal people.7:59
- Damn it, he's still here.8:03
- Excuse me?8:04
- I was just talking to another one of the voices.8:06
- Is it Tatiana?8:09
- Who now?8:10
- The mischievous seven -year -old British girl you told me about on the phone.8:11
- May I speak with her?8:14
- Yes.8:19
- Hello, doctor.8:21
- I'm from Wassex.8:22
- Is that an actual place in England?8:24
- How should I know?8:26
- I'm just a little girl I am.8:27
- I am.8:29
- Well, it's nice to speak with you, Tatiana.8:30
- Can I say hello to Brian, the bookkeeper from Central London?8:32
- Cheers.8:38
- I'm Brian.8:39
- I like bookkeeping right in the middle of London.8:39
- Did I tell you a full list of my old many personalities when I called you on the old telly in it?8:42
- Yes, you did.8:48
- And are any of them, hopefully, not from England?8:49
- There's Jeffrey.8:53
- You said he's Australian.8:54
- Oh, crikey.8:56
- McAllister, your lawyer has more questions for you.9:01
- What?9:03
- Why were you doing that?9:03
- You said I should listen.9:04
- Listening doesn't always mean being quiet.9:06
- Sometimes the only way to listen is to say something.9:08
- I'm listening to you right now.9:11
- Do you see how I listen?9:13
- This is me listening.9:14
- You're pissing me off, boy.9:16
- Oh, and he's back.9:17
- Hold on to that aggression.9:18
- Go, go, go.9:19
- And these stupid cops want to leave me alone.9:21
- What the hell?9:24
- They think I'm a snitch, not me.9:24
- McAllister, I need to talk to you.9:27
- No.9:28
- Excuse me.9:29
- I don't want any more notes.9:29
- I've gone undercover before.9:31
- Now just back off and let me do this.9:32
- Uh -oh Alfonso.9:36
- Seems as though we got a pig in our midst.9:37
- Looks like we can only trust each other.9:40
- Come on, man.9:42
- You obviously a cop too.9:42
- You keep talking about nefarious you are.9:44
- I'm the reigning champ.9:46
- The only thing you won last heist was a lifetime of mediocre heterosexual intercourse with Jake.9:48
- Hello, sir.9:53
- Sorry again for tying you spread eagle in the bed.9:54
- Apology not accepted.9:57
- Damn, sir.10:01
- You took that Charbonate at the house.10:02
- How you feeling?10:04
- Let me take stock.10:05
- My equilibrium is askew.10:06
- My vision is partially impaired and I'm clearly slurring my words.10:08
- To put a fine point on it, your boy's turned.10:11
- We are getting aggravated.10:15
- Got it.10:18
- What?10:19
- Time check.10:21
- Five minutes, ten seconds.10:22
- It's over.10:23
- Don't say that.10:23
- We'll never get the garlic red toast in a time.10:24
- We can and we will.10:25
- We'll set the oven to 500.10:27
- Are you insane?10:28
- It'll burn.10:29
- We're wrapping foil.10:30
- The foil will stink to the cheese.10:30
- That's how rich we'll have to take.10:32
- Oh.10:33
- You should feel these.10:35
- They're like two baseball bases.10:38
- Make them pop, daddy.10:40
- Daddy's not sure this is the time.10:41
- Do it, daddy.10:43
- Ooh, ow.10:44
- I've got you on tape, Kelly.10:46
- You're screwed.10:47
- The only thing that's going to be on your desk in the morning is a list of my demands.10:48
- Operation Triple Dragon is complete.10:52
- You named it.10:54
- Not only did I name it, Triple Dragon is an acronym.10:55
- Two righteous individuals performing law enforcement directives rapidly against Gordon on nemesis.10:59
- Triple Dragon.11:03
- This is the best thing that's ever happened.11:04
- I mean, not for you, obviously.11:07
- It's bad for you.11:09
- Freeze.11:11
- NYPD.11:13
- Is that Raymond Holtz I see?11:14
- You haven't changed a bit.11:16
- Neither have you, Ernest.11:17
- What?11:19
- Neither have you, Ernest.11:20
- What?11:22
- Neither have you, Ernest.11:23
- This is hard to watch.11:27
- You're just as devious as ever.11:29
- You seduced the van driver, didn't you?11:31
- No, I seduced the van driver.11:33
- She couldn't resist my groovy voodoo.11:35
- And the yo -yo string was a message.11:37
- The what was it?11:40
- The yo -yo string was...11:40
- Captain, this is embarrassing.11:44
- Can we just take him in?11:45
- Yeah, you're right.11:47
- This isn't what I had hoped for.11:48
- Go ahead and cuff him gently.11:49
- This isn't the last you hear from me, Raymond.11:51
- I'm never going to die.11:53
- Sure you won't.11:55
- Whatever makes you feel better.11:55
- No, you're the punk.11:56
- Just put him in the car.11:58
- Hey Donna, just want to make sure you're okay here working at Wing Sluts.12:00
- Yeah, it's a good job and I'm excited about my new life.12:04
- Thanks.12:07
- Our pleasure.12:08
- Well, we're gonna go hit the gym for the second time today.12:09
- Wait, you need some protein to fuel those hard bodies.12:11
- It's on me.12:15
- What the heck?12:16
- One wing can't hurt.12:17
- Take my brother away.12:21
- Take my brother away.12:31
- I'm here.12:39
- I'm here.12:40
- I'm here.12:41
- You can start the meeting now.12:42
- The meeting is over.12:44
- You're late.12:44
- You missed roll call and the tutorial on using the new copier.12:45
- Six years and no matter how hard I try, I still can't get you to understand the importance of being punctual.12:48
- Maybe you should just give up and accept me for who I am.12:52
- No, I will break you right now.12:54
- While you were out being tardy, I was hard at work devising a special punishment.12:56
- I've crafted an intricate, personal high -five with everyone in this office except you.13:00
- What?13:05
- But you hate high -fives?13:05
- Yes, every minute of it was hell, but it'll be worse for you.13:06
- Squad dismissed.13:10
- Goodbye, Diaz.13:12
- Salute into a fanny -whackle.13:14
- Goodbye, Boyle.13:15
- This snake charmer.13:16
- Goodbye, Jefferts.13:18
- That's a butt bump.13:21
- Goodbye, Santiago.13:21
- Double fist bump, reverse explosion into a p -townsome strum.13:23
- All right, that was terrible, but it's over now and I made it through.13:26
- Goodbye, Leonard from Xerox.13:31
- What?13:32
- No, no, no.13:33
- The copy guy.13:34
- How long have you known he was a genius?13:35
- I mean, I always knew he was bright.13:37
- I just never realized he was that smart.13:39
- Well, there's no sugarcoating it.13:41
- You're a terrible father.13:43
- What?13:44
- You've been asleep at the wheel, man.13:44
- What have you done to cultivate his incredible mind?13:46
- I read to him every night.13:49
- Shakespeare, Tolstoy?13:50
- No, nothing that advanced.13:51
- You're God, so are you reading him dickens?13:52
- Yes.13:54
- Boyle, my father never saw my potential.13:55
- In grade school, I wanted to spend all my free time drawing graphs and charts, but he insisted I play basketball, as if I care about slam dunking a three13:58
- -pointer.14:06
- Don't be my father, Boyle.14:07
- I wouldn't dare.14:08
- What do you think I should do?14:09
- Let me tutor, Nicolage.14:11
- Nothing too strenuous.14:13
- Maybe some geometry, statistical mechanics, perhaps some Latin lyric poetry thrown in for fun.14:14
- Oh, I don't know.14:20
- He's really booked.14:20
- I guess I could cancel his cartooning class, but he really loves it.14:21
- Don't do that.14:24
- I hate to think of all the great cartoons humanity missed out on because Einstein was just too busy reinventing physics.14:25
- Oh, you gotta ban.14:33
- Stop, stop!14:37
- No trumpets, not today!14:38
- My head is killing me.14:40
- Hit the tequila a little early, huh?14:41
- I'm not hungover, Hitchcock.14:42
- I got attention headache.14:44
- I got the lieutenants exam tonight.14:44
- I'm stress -eating like crazy.14:46
- I had 10 hard -boiled egg yolks this morning.14:48
- Gris.14:50
- You're having a high -grade pretest freak out?14:51
- I've been there.14:53
- March 13th, 2001.14:54
- AP Calc test.14:56
- Ames, I hate to cut you off, but we all know where this story's going.14:57
- Oh, yeah?14:59
- You know that I crapped my pants in the middle of the test?15:00
- Oh, my God, no.15:02
- I thought you were just gonna say you got a B -plus or something.15:03
- More like a BM.15:05
- Noice.15:06
- You all suck!15:08
- You are a loser, you are a loser.15:14
- Son of a bitch stole my song.15:19
Mesuré dans ce clip
- Débit
- 245 mots par minute — plus rapide que 92% du catalogue
- Niveau CECRL
- B2
- Formes réduites ici
- gonna ×8, gotta
- Mots à connaître
- pronouns, shapeshifter, mcclain, reinventing, devising, yolks