Shadowing practice: Brooklyn 99 Moments That Make Me Laugh Like an IDIOT
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Full transcript
- I got this one red door I've never been able to open and I hear screams behind it sometimes but it's probably just a wind.0:00
- Leave me alone!0:12
- Leave me alone!0:14
- What the f***?0:15
- You never get me alive!0:16
- Help!0:17
- Help!0:18
- Somebody call the police!0:19
- Here, take care!0:20
- Take care of Sonnyby!0:21
- Oh no!0:23
- Don't hurt me!0:24
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- Don't hurt me!0:25
- Oh, it's you!0:26
- It's us!0:28
- Get in the band!0:29
- Oh, okay!0:30
- Why is little one so mad?0:37
- He's going through something.0:39
- Now stand up, wet wipe your hands and put a bye on your back so we can cuff you.0:40
- Well thank god I'm so tired of running.0:43
- It's only been an hour.0:45
- Today, god will give you a high five.0:52
- Oh, he gave himself a key change.0:57
- So, looks like Operation Nasty is a full -on success, huh?1:13
- You mean Operation Nasty's sex lot.1:18
- Does it weather by now with?1:20
- Didn't you see him flirting with me?1:21
- No, I most definitely did not.1:22
- And you're a blind man and a prude to boot.1:24
- Did you see his tie?1:26
- A single Windsor.1:26
- The easiest not to undo.1:27
- Why bother wearing any clothes at all?1:29
- I think you badly misread that interaction.1:30
- Please, he did everything but lick his lips and purr.1:32
- Get rid of him and bring me someone who can keep it in their slacks.1:35
- Did someone say to take off our slacks?1:38
- No, not even close.1:39
- Oh, well keep me busted.1:41
- My dogs are barking.1:42
- What dogs?1:45
- Hitchcock, you have any surveillance equipment Rosa can borrow?1:47
- You mean my creep kit?1:50
- No problem.1:51
- Got another one in the car.1:52
- See, Amy, that's what a real friend looks like.1:54
- Guys, I have a great idea for a prank.1:57
- Before Holt comes in, I'm gonna put ink on the podium where he puts his hands.2:00
- I don't think you'll fall for that.2:02
- I did?2:04
- How?2:04
- I haven't even opened this yet.2:04
- I guess it's unrelated.2:06
- Captain Holt hates pranks.2:06
- This is gonna backfire, man.2:07
- Ugh, fine.2:08
- I'll tone it down.2:09
- I'll move his podium a foot to the left.2:10
- What?2:12
- He'll be so angry.2:13
- Okay, five inches.2:14
- Five?2:15
- Three?2:15
- Three.2:16
- One?2:16
- One?2:16
- All right, I'll move it a half inch.2:17
- Fine.2:18
- It's your funeral.2:19
- Oh my god.2:19
- First prank ever, so stupid.2:21
- Holt's not even gonna notice.2:23
- Good morning.2:25
- You guys, the podium is...2:29
- You're crazy!2:42
- How did you pull this off?2:43
- Attention squad, put your hands together for the long anticipated reunion of...2:45
- D.2:51
- D.2:52
- C.2:52
- D.2:53
- C.2:54
- D.2:54
- D.2:55
- C.2:55
- Put a J.2:55
- Put a G.2:56
- You get D.2:56
- D.2:57
- C.2:57
- The gas face.2:59
- I finally got all the lambda news back into holding.3:00
- Who had the lambda news?3:03
- Doesn't matter.3:04
- I'll read your notes later.3:04
- I didn't take any notes.3:05
- What the hell, Jake?3:07
- Do you even love me?3:08
- Is that Mr.3:08
- McClain I hear?3:09
- Because someone's about to die.3:10
- Oh my god!3:13
- Oh, I just kept an hold here.3:14
- Because he's gonna...3:15
- Wait, are you dressed like Bonnie Baddily on Die Hard?3:16
- I am.3:19
- For sexy reasons?3:19
- Yes.3:20
- Oh boy.3:21
- Oh, hey babe.3:24
- Oh, it's me, Jake!3:25
- I'm just working!3:28
- What is wrong with you?3:29
- What are you doing?3:29
- Why do you have a knife?3:30
- Why am I covered in red post -its?3:31
- That's blood.3:33
- You're the corpse.3:34
- Jake, who is that?3:35
- Franco McCoy, CSI.3:36
- He's helping me with the case.3:38
- For the record, I think it's weird that I'm here too.3:39
- Both of you, get out!3:41
- Yes, that was good.3:42
- Hey guys, I'm just coming from work with my friend, Billy Hanukkah.3:43
- Hanukkah?3:46
- It's fine.3:47
- Kids don't know what's names are weird.3:47
- Nikola, say hi to Jake and this stranger.3:48
- Hi Jake, I love you.3:51
- Nice to meet you, Mr.3:52
- Hanukkah.3:53
- I love you too.3:53
- Man, he really is a boy, isn't he?3:54
- Hello, my little friend.3:55
- Did you have a good day at school?3:56
- We had computer class today.3:58
- I'm your real father.3:59
- My name is Gintars.4:00
- You are my son.4:01
- Why is the man saying he's my father?4:02
- Mr.4:04
- Hanukkah is crazy.4:05
- He has no children of his own and it's driven him mad.4:06
- I'm your father, Nikola.4:08
- His pronouns, Nikola.4:09
- Nikola.4:11
- Nikola.4:11
- Nikola.4:12
- Nikola.4:12
- Nikola.4:13
- Nikola.4:14
- Nikola.4:14
- It's okay, you say it the wrong way.4:15
- Okay, well that was fun.4:16
- Hey, why don't you go play over there, buddy?4:18
- You can take this drugstore receipt.4:20
- It's very long and filled with coupons.4:23
- You can fly it around like a kite.4:24
- Wow, kids are really basic.4:27
- Being a dad is super easy.4:29
- Do not do it.4:30
- What?4:32
- Don't you love your girls?4:33
- So much.4:34
- You should have seen Cagney this morning with the little braids.4:35
- But they are a ton of work, man.4:37
- If you are not totally 100 % sure you want them, you won't survive.4:40
- Is it really that hard?4:44
- Yes.4:45
- I never get any sleep.4:46
- I'm always sick.4:47
- I never get to watch anything I want on TV.4:48
- I still haven't finished Breaking Bad, but I can recite Moana for memory.4:50
- Maui, shapeshifter, demigod of the wind and sea.4:54
- I am Moana.4:57
- Why do I know that?4:58
- I don't want to watch kids movies.5:00
- I want to watch movies for adults.5:01
- Adults in teens.5:02
- And they are getting so manipulative.5:03
- Yesterday, Cagney pretended to be hurt.5:05
- I went in to help her and Lacey snuck in the kitchen and stole two cookies.5:08
- Oh my god, your children are monsters.5:11
- Hey, those are my kids, man.5:13
- Back off.5:14
- Right.5:15
- Dude, is something awkward happening?5:15
- I could probably relate.5:17
- Dish, bitch.5:19
- Rosa got dumped out of the blue because she cares so much about her job.5:20
- It does spend enough time with Jocelyn.5:22
- Ow!5:24
- There's no winning with you.5:24
- Oh, so you got dumped and he didn't see it coming.5:25
- Oh, brother, you are in Boyle country.5:28
- Here's what you're gonna want to do.5:31
- Come on, Boyle.5:33
- They're gonna take you back.5:33
- And don't be afraid to cry.5:34
- I'm talking tears and snot.5:36
- How do you feel?5:37
- Gnawcious.5:38
- Good.5:39
- It's working.5:40
- Good afternoon.5:41
- May I help you?5:42
- We're here all the time.5:42
- Get familiar with these faces or get familiar with the unemployment line.5:44
- I'm so sorry, but I have to check you in.5:47
- I need a member number.5:50
- I don't have my member number with me.5:51
- It's too bad you can't just use my AMEX black card.5:53
- Oh, that's great.5:56
- We can use that.5:56
- You can.5:57
- Well, you think I carry around my own wallet?5:58
- I'm sorry, sir.6:04
- If you could just give me a name, that would be great.6:05
- I'll give you a name, Pompomous Lacroix.6:08
- I'm so sorry, Ms.6:11
- Lacroix.6:12
- You're not in the system.6:12
- This is ridiculous.6:13
- You know what?6:15
- Call Daddy.6:16
- Daddy'll get us in.6:16
- Daddy, the man won't let us into the club.6:18
- Yes, Daddy.6:21
- No, Daddy.6:22
- No.6:23
- Daddy wants to speak with you.6:24
- Gladly.6:25
- Hello, Daddy.6:26
- Yes, Daddy.6:27
- No, Daddy.6:28
- Daddy.6:29
- Oh, good question, Daddy.6:30
- Daddy wants to get this young man fired.6:32
- What is your first and last name?6:34
- Okay, I've got something.6:36
- Oh, that's not Brandon's profile.6:37
- It's mine.6:39
- I just want to quick peek at your attendance record.6:39
- Zero absences.6:41
- Oh, mama.6:43
- I'm printing this for later.6:45
- Keep it in your pants, Santiago.6:46
- Oh, that's exactly where it's going.6:48
- This B needs a C and her A.6:50
- Oh, my God.6:52
- This babe needs a coconut in her arms.6:53
- Oh, I thought you were saying this **** needs a ****.6:56
- Oh, my God.6:59
- Yeah, that was my reaction.7:00
- All right, I'll go get us a couple of coconuts.7:01
- Oops.7:05
- Sorry.7:05
- Can't even float right.7:06
- Just push me away.7:08
- Everyone else does.7:09
- You know what all shows how much you matured?7:10
- You're with a face.7:12
- Now I know why you refer to this as a Suicide Squad Peralta because I already want to kill myself.7:13
- You said your mom didn't tell you anything.7:18
- Do you know what happened?7:20
- Yes, I do.7:20
- And it's none of your business trials.7:21
- Just stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.7:23
- Really, Gina?7:25
- And where does my nose belong if not inside her parents?7:26
- Rosa, I think I just made a connection.7:29
- The number three is everywhere.7:31
- Three people, three types of blood, and guess what the tax was on the veggie wraps?7:33
- $3 and 19 cents.7:39
- But if you ignore the 19, then it's three.7:41
- Okay, you've lost your mind.7:44
- What?7:45
- Who told you that?7:45
- Was it room?7:46
- No, it's the fact that you think the room has a voice and also you're working your boxers.7:47
- To beat the heat, Rosa.7:50
- To beat the heat.7:52
- I could take him to the Russian bath house.7:53
- Has he been?7:54
- No, I'm not some weirdo that takes my eight -year -old to the Russian bath.7:55
- We take our baths at home together as a family like normal people.7:59
- Damn it, he's still here.8:03
- Excuse me?8:04
- I was just talking to another one of the voices.8:06
- Is it Tatiana?8:09
- Who now?8:10
- The mischievous seven -year -old British girl you told me about on the phone.8:11
- May I speak with her?8:14
- Yes.8:19
- Hello, doctor.8:21
- I'm from Wassex.8:22
- Is that an actual place in England?8:24
- How should I know?8:26
- I'm just a little girl I am.8:27
- I am.8:29
- Well, it's nice to speak with you, Tatiana.8:30
- Can I say hello to Brian, the bookkeeper from Central London?8:32
- Cheers.8:38
- I'm Brian.8:39
- I like bookkeeping right in the middle of London.8:39
- Did I tell you a full list of my old many personalities when I called you on the old telly in it?8:42
- Yes, you did.8:48
- And are any of them, hopefully, not from England?8:49
- There's Jeffrey.8:53
- You said he's Australian.8:54
- Oh, crikey.8:56
- McAllister, your lawyer has more questions for you.9:01
- What?9:03
- Why were you doing that?9:03
- You said I should listen.9:04
- Listening doesn't always mean being quiet.9:06
- Sometimes the only way to listen is to say something.9:08
- I'm listening to you right now.9:11
- Do you see how I listen?9:13
- This is me listening.9:14
- You're pissing me off, boy.9:16
- Oh, and he's back.9:17
- Hold on to that aggression.9:18
- Go, go, go.9:19
- And these stupid cops want to leave me alone.9:21
- What the hell?9:24
- They think I'm a snitch, not me.9:24
- McAllister, I need to talk to you.9:27
- No.9:28
- Excuse me.9:29
- I don't want any more notes.9:29
- I've gone undercover before.9:31
- Now just back off and let me do this.9:32
- Uh -oh Alfonso.9:36
- Seems as though we got a pig in our midst.9:37
- Looks like we can only trust each other.9:40
- Come on, man.9:42
- You obviously a cop too.9:42
- You keep talking about nefarious you are.9:44
- I'm the reigning champ.9:46
- The only thing you won last heist was a lifetime of mediocre heterosexual intercourse with Jake.9:48
- Hello, sir.9:53
- Sorry again for tying you spread eagle in the bed.9:54
- Apology not accepted.9:57
- Damn, sir.10:01
- You took that Charbonate at the house.10:02
- How you feeling?10:04
- Let me take stock.10:05
- My equilibrium is askew.10:06
- My vision is partially impaired and I'm clearly slurring my words.10:08
- To put a fine point on it, your boy's turned.10:11
- We are getting aggravated.10:15
- Got it.10:18
- What?10:19
- Time check.10:21
- Five minutes, ten seconds.10:22
- It's over.10:23
- Don't say that.10:23
- We'll never get the garlic red toast in a time.10:24
- We can and we will.10:25
- We'll set the oven to 500.10:27
- Are you insane?10:28
- It'll burn.10:29
- We're wrapping foil.10:30
- The foil will stink to the cheese.10:30
- That's how rich we'll have to take.10:32
- Oh.10:33
- You should feel these.10:35
- They're like two baseball bases.10:38
- Make them pop, daddy.10:40
- Daddy's not sure this is the time.10:41
- Do it, daddy.10:43
- Ooh, ow.10:44
- I've got you on tape, Kelly.10:46
- You're screwed.10:47
- The only thing that's going to be on your desk in the morning is a list of my demands.10:48
- Operation Triple Dragon is complete.10:52
- You named it.10:54
- Not only did I name it, Triple Dragon is an acronym.10:55
- Two righteous individuals performing law enforcement directives rapidly against Gordon on nemesis.10:59
- Triple Dragon.11:03
- This is the best thing that's ever happened.11:04
- I mean, not for you, obviously.11:07
- It's bad for you.11:09
- Freeze.11:11
- NYPD.11:13
- Is that Raymond Holtz I see?11:14
- You haven't changed a bit.11:16
- Neither have you, Ernest.11:17
- What?11:19
- Neither have you, Ernest.11:20
- What?11:22
- Neither have you, Ernest.11:23
- This is hard to watch.11:27
- You're just as devious as ever.11:29
- You seduced the van driver, didn't you?11:31
- No, I seduced the van driver.11:33
- She couldn't resist my groovy voodoo.11:35
- And the yo -yo string was a message.11:37
- The what was it?11:40
- The yo -yo string was...11:40
- Captain, this is embarrassing.11:44
- Can we just take him in?11:45
- Yeah, you're right.11:47
- This isn't what I had hoped for.11:48
- Go ahead and cuff him gently.11:49
- This isn't the last you hear from me, Raymond.11:51
- I'm never going to die.11:53
- Sure you won't.11:55
- Whatever makes you feel better.11:55
- No, you're the punk.11:56
- Just put him in the car.11:58
- Hey Donna, just want to make sure you're okay here working at Wing Sluts.12:00
- Yeah, it's a good job and I'm excited about my new life.12:04
- Thanks.12:07
- Our pleasure.12:08
- Well, we're gonna go hit the gym for the second time today.12:09
- Wait, you need some protein to fuel those hard bodies.12:11
- It's on me.12:15
- What the heck?12:16
- One wing can't hurt.12:17
- Take my brother away.12:21
- Take my brother away.12:31
- I'm here.12:39
- I'm here.12:40
- I'm here.12:41
- You can start the meeting now.12:42
- The meeting is over.12:44
- You're late.12:44
- You missed roll call and the tutorial on using the new copier.12:45
- Six years and no matter how hard I try, I still can't get you to understand the importance of being punctual.12:48
- Maybe you should just give up and accept me for who I am.12:52
- No, I will break you right now.12:54
- While you were out being tardy, I was hard at work devising a special punishment.12:56
- I've crafted an intricate, personal high -five with everyone in this office except you.13:00
- What?13:05
- But you hate high -fives?13:05
- Yes, every minute of it was hell, but it'll be worse for you.13:06
- Squad dismissed.13:10
- Goodbye, Diaz.13:12
- Salute into a fanny -whackle.13:14
- Goodbye, Boyle.13:15
- This snake charmer.13:16
- Goodbye, Jefferts.13:18
- That's a butt bump.13:21
- Goodbye, Santiago.13:21
- Double fist bump, reverse explosion into a p -townsome strum.13:23
- All right, that was terrible, but it's over now and I made it through.13:26
- Goodbye, Leonard from Xerox.13:31
- What?13:32
- No, no, no.13:33
- The copy guy.13:34
- How long have you known he was a genius?13:35
- I mean, I always knew he was bright.13:37
- I just never realized he was that smart.13:39
- Well, there's no sugarcoating it.13:41
- You're a terrible father.13:43
- What?13:44
- You've been asleep at the wheel, man.13:44
- What have you done to cultivate his incredible mind?13:46
- I read to him every night.13:49
- Shakespeare, Tolstoy?13:50
- No, nothing that advanced.13:51
- You're God, so are you reading him dickens?13:52
- Yes.13:54
- Boyle, my father never saw my potential.13:55
- In grade school, I wanted to spend all my free time drawing graphs and charts, but he insisted I play basketball, as if I care about slam dunking a three13:58
- -pointer.14:06
- Don't be my father, Boyle.14:07
- I wouldn't dare.14:08
- What do you think I should do?14:09
- Let me tutor, Nicolage.14:11
- Nothing too strenuous.14:13
- Maybe some geometry, statistical mechanics, perhaps some Latin lyric poetry thrown in for fun.14:14
- Oh, I don't know.14:20
- He's really booked.14:20
- I guess I could cancel his cartooning class, but he really loves it.14:21
- Don't do that.14:24
- I hate to think of all the great cartoons humanity missed out on because Einstein was just too busy reinventing physics.14:25
- Oh, you gotta ban.14:33
- Stop, stop!14:37
- No trumpets, not today!14:38
- My head is killing me.14:40
- Hit the tequila a little early, huh?14:41
- I'm not hungover, Hitchcock.14:42
- I got attention headache.14:44
- I got the lieutenants exam tonight.14:44
- I'm stress -eating like crazy.14:46
- I had 10 hard -boiled egg yolks this morning.14:48
- Gris.14:50
- You're having a high -grade pretest freak out?14:51
- I've been there.14:53
- March 13th, 2001.14:54
- AP Calc test.14:56
- Ames, I hate to cut you off, but we all know where this story's going.14:57
- Oh, yeah?14:59
- You know that I crapped my pants in the middle of the test?15:00
- Oh, my God, no.15:02
- I thought you were just gonna say you got a B -plus or something.15:03
- More like a BM.15:05
- Noice.15:06
- You all suck!15:08
- You are a loser, you are a loser.15:14
- Son of a bitch stole my song.15:19
English speaking practice with a fast Brooklyn Nine-Nine chase and prank scene
This clip opens on a frantic chase full of shouted one line reactions, then settles into a slow negotiation over a prank on Holt's podium. That swing from panic to bargaining is what makes it useful for english speaking practice: you get short, punchy exclamations and then a real back and forth between two speakers, all delivered at 245 words per minute, faster than 92 percent of the catalogue.
This is a B2 clip, so it assumes you already know the grammar and asks you to keep pace with delivery, not to learn new structures. The accent is American throughout, which makes it useful practice if your target is an American sitcom register rather than a news anchor's careful diction. Two officers, a prank, and a chase that starts the scene: there is enough happening that you are practising a real exchange, not a monologue read into a microphone.
How to pronounce gonna and other reductions in this scene
Whisper's transcript catches a few lines exactly as they were said, reductions and all. Read them as evidence of how this cast actually pronounces English, not as a script to correct.
- "Now stand up, wet wipe your hands and put a bye on your back so we can cuff you." is a chain of quick imperatives run together with almost no pause between them, good practice for keeping consonants crisp when you speak fast.
- "I'm gonna put ink on the podium where he puts his hands." uses "gonna" for "going to", said fast and low, then the sentence stretches out into a longer plan, so the rhythm speeds up and slows down inside one line.
- "This is gonna backfire, man." pairs the same reduction with a casual tag, "man", dropped onto the end almost as an afterthought, worth copying for the flat, unbothered tone.
How to shadow this line by line prank scene for B2 english
Work through the clip in three passes rather than trying to match the full 245 words per minute pace on your first try.
- Start on line one, "I got this one red door I've never been able to open and I hear screams behind it sometimes but it's probably just a wind." It is the only slow, single speaker line before the chase starts, so use it to hear the American vowels clearly before the pace picks up.
- Next drill the one word shouts, "Leave me alone!", "Help!", "Somebody call the police!" Say each one at full volume and full speed, since the whole point of these lines is urgency, not clarity.
- Then move to the podium haggling, the run of short numbers from "Okay, five inches." down through "Three." and "One?" Practice these as a pair with a partner or against the audio, since the comedy is entirely in how fast the numbers drop.
- Finish with the two "gonna" lines back to back, so the reduction stops being a special case and becomes something you say without thinking, which is the actual goal of any english shadowing practice session.