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Практика английского по видео: Brooklyn 99 Moments That Make Me Laugh Like an IDIOT

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  1. I got this one red door I've never been able to open and I hear screams behind it sometimes but it's probably just a wind.0:00
  2. Leave me alone!0:12
  3. Leave me alone!0:14
  4. What the f***?0:15
  5. You never get me alive!0:16
  6. Help!0:17
  7. Help!0:18
  8. Somebody call the police!0:19
  9. Here, take care!0:20
  10. Take care of Sonnyby!0:21
  11. Oh no!0:23
  12. Don't hurt me!0:24
Показать все фразы (506) Свернуть
  1. Don't hurt me!0:25
  2. Oh, it's you!0:26
  3. It's us!0:28
  4. Get in the band!0:29
  5. Oh, okay!0:30
  6. Why is little one so mad?0:37
  7. He's going through something.0:39
  8. Now stand up, wet wipe your hands and put a bye on your back so we can cuff you.0:40
  9. Well thank god I'm so tired of running.0:43
  10. It's only been an hour.0:45
  11. Today, god will give you a high five.0:52
  12. Oh, he gave himself a key change.0:57
  13. So, looks like Operation Nasty is a full -on success, huh?1:13
  14. You mean Operation Nasty's sex lot.1:18
  15. Does it weather by now with?1:20
  16. Didn't you see him flirting with me?1:21
  17. No, I most definitely did not.1:22
  18. And you're a blind man and a prude to boot.1:24
  19. Did you see his tie?1:26
  20. A single Windsor.1:26
  21. The easiest not to undo.1:27
  22. Why bother wearing any clothes at all?1:29
  23. I think you badly misread that interaction.1:30
  24. Please, he did everything but lick his lips and purr.1:32
  25. Get rid of him and bring me someone who can keep it in their slacks.1:35
  26. Did someone say to take off our slacks?1:38
  27. No, not even close.1:39
  28. Oh, well keep me busted.1:41
  29. My dogs are barking.1:42
  30. What dogs?1:45
  31. Hitchcock, you have any surveillance equipment Rosa can borrow?1:47
  32. You mean my creep kit?1:50
  33. No problem.1:51
  34. Got another one in the car.1:52
  35. See, Amy, that's what a real friend looks like.1:54
  36. Guys, I have a great idea for a prank.1:57
  37. Before Holt comes in, I'm gonna put ink on the podium where he puts his hands.2:00
  38. I don't think you'll fall for that.2:02
  39. I did?2:04
  40. How?2:04
  41. I haven't even opened this yet.2:04
  42. I guess it's unrelated.2:06
  43. Captain Holt hates pranks.2:06
  44. This is gonna backfire, man.2:07
  45. Ugh, fine.2:08
  46. I'll tone it down.2:09
  47. I'll move his podium a foot to the left.2:10
  48. What?2:12
  49. He'll be so angry.2:13
  50. Okay, five inches.2:14
  51. Five?2:15
  52. Three?2:15
  53. Three.2:16
  54. One?2:16
  55. One?2:16
  56. All right, I'll move it a half inch.2:17
  57. Fine.2:18
  58. It's your funeral.2:19
  59. Oh my god.2:19
  60. First prank ever, so stupid.2:21
  61. Holt's not even gonna notice.2:23
  62. Good morning.2:25
  63. You guys, the podium is...2:29
  64. You're crazy!2:42
  65. How did you pull this off?2:43
  66. Attention squad, put your hands together for the long anticipated reunion of...2:45
  67. D.2:51
  68. D.2:52
  69. C.2:52
  70. D.2:53
  71. C.2:54
  72. D.2:54
  73. D.2:55
  74. C.2:55
  75. Put a J.2:55
  76. Put a G.2:56
  77. You get D.2:56
  78. D.2:57
  79. C.2:57
  80. The gas face.2:59
  81. I finally got all the lambda news back into holding.3:00
  82. Who had the lambda news?3:03
  83. Doesn't matter.3:04
  84. I'll read your notes later.3:04
  85. I didn't take any notes.3:05
  86. What the hell, Jake?3:07
  87. Do you even love me?3:08
  88. Is that Mr.3:08
  89. McClain I hear?3:09
  90. Because someone's about to die.3:10
  91. Oh my god!3:13
  92. Oh, I just kept an hold here.3:14
  93. Because he's gonna...3:15
  94. Wait, are you dressed like Bonnie Baddily on Die Hard?3:16
  95. I am.3:19
  96. For sexy reasons?3:19
  97. Yes.3:20
  98. Oh boy.3:21
  99. Oh, hey babe.3:24
  100. Oh, it's me, Jake!3:25
  101. I'm just working!3:28
  102. What is wrong with you?3:29
  103. What are you doing?3:29
  104. Why do you have a knife?3:30
  105. Why am I covered in red post -its?3:31
  106. That's blood.3:33
  107. You're the corpse.3:34
  108. Jake, who is that?3:35
  109. Franco McCoy, CSI.3:36
  110. He's helping me with the case.3:38
  111. For the record, I think it's weird that I'm here too.3:39
  112. Both of you, get out!3:41
  113. Yes, that was good.3:42
  114. Hey guys, I'm just coming from work with my friend, Billy Hanukkah.3:43
  115. Hanukkah?3:46
  116. It's fine.3:47
  117. Kids don't know what's names are weird.3:47
  118. Nikola, say hi to Jake and this stranger.3:48
  119. Hi Jake, I love you.3:51
  120. Nice to meet you, Mr.3:52
  121. Hanukkah.3:53
  122. I love you too.3:53
  123. Man, he really is a boy, isn't he?3:54
  124. Hello, my little friend.3:55
  125. Did you have a good day at school?3:56
  126. We had computer class today.3:58
  127. I'm your real father.3:59
  128. My name is Gintars.4:00
  129. You are my son.4:01
  130. Why is the man saying he's my father?4:02
  131. Mr.4:04
  132. Hanukkah is crazy.4:05
  133. He has no children of his own and it's driven him mad.4:06
  134. I'm your father, Nikola.4:08
  135. His pronouns, Nikola.4:09
  136. Nikola.4:11
  137. Nikola.4:11
  138. Nikola.4:12
  139. Nikola.4:12
  140. Nikola.4:13
  141. Nikola.4:14
  142. Nikola.4:14
  143. It's okay, you say it the wrong way.4:15
  144. Okay, well that was fun.4:16
  145. Hey, why don't you go play over there, buddy?4:18
  146. You can take this drugstore receipt.4:20
  147. It's very long and filled with coupons.4:23
  148. You can fly it around like a kite.4:24
  149. Wow, kids are really basic.4:27
  150. Being a dad is super easy.4:29
  151. Do not do it.4:30
  152. What?4:32
  153. Don't you love your girls?4:33
  154. So much.4:34
  155. You should have seen Cagney this morning with the little braids.4:35
  156. But they are a ton of work, man.4:37
  157. If you are not totally 100 % sure you want them, you won't survive.4:40
  158. Is it really that hard?4:44
  159. Yes.4:45
  160. I never get any sleep.4:46
  161. I'm always sick.4:47
  162. I never get to watch anything I want on TV.4:48
  163. I still haven't finished Breaking Bad, but I can recite Moana for memory.4:50
  164. Maui, shapeshifter, demigod of the wind and sea.4:54
  165. I am Moana.4:57
  166. Why do I know that?4:58
  167. I don't want to watch kids movies.5:00
  168. I want to watch movies for adults.5:01
  169. Adults in teens.5:02
  170. And they are getting so manipulative.5:03
  171. Yesterday, Cagney pretended to be hurt.5:05
  172. I went in to help her and Lacey snuck in the kitchen and stole two cookies.5:08
  173. Oh my god, your children are monsters.5:11
  174. Hey, those are my kids, man.5:13
  175. Back off.5:14
  176. Right.5:15
  177. Dude, is something awkward happening?5:15
  178. I could probably relate.5:17
  179. Dish, bitch.5:19
  180. Rosa got dumped out of the blue because she cares so much about her job.5:20
  181. It does spend enough time with Jocelyn.5:22
  182. Ow!5:24
  183. There's no winning with you.5:24
  184. Oh, so you got dumped and he didn't see it coming.5:25
  185. Oh, brother, you are in Boyle country.5:28
  186. Here's what you're gonna want to do.5:31
  187. Come on, Boyle.5:33
  188. They're gonna take you back.5:33
  189. And don't be afraid to cry.5:34
  190. I'm talking tears and snot.5:36
  191. How do you feel?5:37
  192. Gnawcious.5:38
  193. Good.5:39
  194. It's working.5:40
  195. Good afternoon.5:41
  196. May I help you?5:42
  197. We're here all the time.5:42
  198. Get familiar with these faces or get familiar with the unemployment line.5:44
  199. I'm so sorry, but I have to check you in.5:47
  200. I need a member number.5:50
  201. I don't have my member number with me.5:51
  202. It's too bad you can't just use my AMEX black card.5:53
  203. Oh, that's great.5:56
  204. We can use that.5:56
  205. You can.5:57
  206. Well, you think I carry around my own wallet?5:58
  207. I'm sorry, sir.6:04
  208. If you could just give me a name, that would be great.6:05
  209. I'll give you a name, Pompomous Lacroix.6:08
  210. I'm so sorry, Ms.6:11
  211. Lacroix.6:12
  212. You're not in the system.6:12
  213. This is ridiculous.6:13
  214. You know what?6:15
  215. Call Daddy.6:16
  216. Daddy'll get us in.6:16
  217. Daddy, the man won't let us into the club.6:18
  218. Yes, Daddy.6:21
  219. No, Daddy.6:22
  220. No.6:23
  221. Daddy wants to speak with you.6:24
  222. Gladly.6:25
  223. Hello, Daddy.6:26
  224. Yes, Daddy.6:27
  225. No, Daddy.6:28
  226. Daddy.6:29
  227. Oh, good question, Daddy.6:30
  228. Daddy wants to get this young man fired.6:32
  229. What is your first and last name?6:34
  230. Okay, I've got something.6:36
  231. Oh, that's not Brandon's profile.6:37
  232. It's mine.6:39
  233. I just want to quick peek at your attendance record.6:39
  234. Zero absences.6:41
  235. Oh, mama.6:43
  236. I'm printing this for later.6:45
  237. Keep it in your pants, Santiago.6:46
  238. Oh, that's exactly where it's going.6:48
  239. This B needs a C and her A.6:50
  240. Oh, my God.6:52
  241. This babe needs a coconut in her arms.6:53
  242. Oh, I thought you were saying this **** needs a ****.6:56
  243. Oh, my God.6:59
  244. Yeah, that was my reaction.7:00
  245. All right, I'll go get us a couple of coconuts.7:01
  246. Oops.7:05
  247. Sorry.7:05
  248. Can't even float right.7:06
  249. Just push me away.7:08
  250. Everyone else does.7:09
  251. You know what all shows how much you matured?7:10
  252. You're with a face.7:12
  253. Now I know why you refer to this as a Suicide Squad Peralta because I already want to kill myself.7:13
  254. You said your mom didn't tell you anything.7:18
  255. Do you know what happened?7:20
  256. Yes, I do.7:20
  257. And it's none of your business trials.7:21
  258. Just stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.7:23
  259. Really, Gina?7:25
  260. And where does my nose belong if not inside her parents?7:26
  261. Rosa, I think I just made a connection.7:29
  262. The number three is everywhere.7:31
  263. Three people, three types of blood, and guess what the tax was on the veggie wraps?7:33
  264. $3 and 19 cents.7:39
  265. But if you ignore the 19, then it's three.7:41
  266. Okay, you've lost your mind.7:44
  267. What?7:45
  268. Who told you that?7:45
  269. Was it room?7:46
  270. No, it's the fact that you think the room has a voice and also you're working your boxers.7:47
  271. To beat the heat, Rosa.7:50
  272. To beat the heat.7:52
  273. I could take him to the Russian bath house.7:53
  274. Has he been?7:54
  275. No, I'm not some weirdo that takes my eight -year -old to the Russian bath.7:55
  276. We take our baths at home together as a family like normal people.7:59
  277. Damn it, he's still here.8:03
  278. Excuse me?8:04
  279. I was just talking to another one of the voices.8:06
  280. Is it Tatiana?8:09
  281. Who now?8:10
  282. The mischievous seven -year -old British girl you told me about on the phone.8:11
  283. May I speak with her?8:14
  284. Yes.8:19
  285. Hello, doctor.8:21
  286. I'm from Wassex.8:22
  287. Is that an actual place in England?8:24
  288. How should I know?8:26
  289. I'm just a little girl I am.8:27
  290. I am.8:29
  291. Well, it's nice to speak with you, Tatiana.8:30
  292. Can I say hello to Brian, the bookkeeper from Central London?8:32
  293. Cheers.8:38
  294. I'm Brian.8:39
  295. I like bookkeeping right in the middle of London.8:39
  296. Did I tell you a full list of my old many personalities when I called you on the old telly in it?8:42
  297. Yes, you did.8:48
  298. And are any of them, hopefully, not from England?8:49
  299. There's Jeffrey.8:53
  300. You said he's Australian.8:54
  301. Oh, crikey.8:56
  302. McAllister, your lawyer has more questions for you.9:01
  303. What?9:03
  304. Why were you doing that?9:03
  305. You said I should listen.9:04
  306. Listening doesn't always mean being quiet.9:06
  307. Sometimes the only way to listen is to say something.9:08
  308. I'm listening to you right now.9:11
  309. Do you see how I listen?9:13
  310. This is me listening.9:14
  311. You're pissing me off, boy.9:16
  312. Oh, and he's back.9:17
  313. Hold on to that aggression.9:18
  314. Go, go, go.9:19
  315. And these stupid cops want to leave me alone.9:21
  316. What the hell?9:24
  317. They think I'm a snitch, not me.9:24
  318. McAllister, I need to talk to you.9:27
  319. No.9:28
  320. Excuse me.9:29
  321. I don't want any more notes.9:29
  322. I've gone undercover before.9:31
  323. Now just back off and let me do this.9:32
  324. Uh -oh Alfonso.9:36
  325. Seems as though we got a pig in our midst.9:37
  326. Looks like we can only trust each other.9:40
  327. Come on, man.9:42
  328. You obviously a cop too.9:42
  329. You keep talking about nefarious you are.9:44
  330. I'm the reigning champ.9:46
  331. The only thing you won last heist was a lifetime of mediocre heterosexual intercourse with Jake.9:48
  332. Hello, sir.9:53
  333. Sorry again for tying you spread eagle in the bed.9:54
  334. Apology not accepted.9:57
  335. Damn, sir.10:01
  336. You took that Charbonate at the house.10:02
  337. How you feeling?10:04
  338. Let me take stock.10:05
  339. My equilibrium is askew.10:06
  340. My vision is partially impaired and I'm clearly slurring my words.10:08
  341. To put a fine point on it, your boy's turned.10:11
  342. We are getting aggravated.10:15
  343. Got it.10:18
  344. What?10:19
  345. Time check.10:21
  346. Five minutes, ten seconds.10:22
  347. It's over.10:23
  348. Don't say that.10:23
  349. We'll never get the garlic red toast in a time.10:24
  350. We can and we will.10:25
  351. We'll set the oven to 500.10:27
  352. Are you insane?10:28
  353. It'll burn.10:29
  354. We're wrapping foil.10:30
  355. The foil will stink to the cheese.10:30
  356. That's how rich we'll have to take.10:32
  357. Oh.10:33
  358. You should feel these.10:35
  359. They're like two baseball bases.10:38
  360. Make them pop, daddy.10:40
  361. Daddy's not sure this is the time.10:41
  362. Do it, daddy.10:43
  363. Ooh, ow.10:44
  364. I've got you on tape, Kelly.10:46
  365. You're screwed.10:47
  366. The only thing that's going to be on your desk in the morning is a list of my demands.10:48
  367. Operation Triple Dragon is complete.10:52
  368. You named it.10:54
  369. Not only did I name it, Triple Dragon is an acronym.10:55
  370. Two righteous individuals performing law enforcement directives rapidly against Gordon on nemesis.10:59
  371. Triple Dragon.11:03
  372. This is the best thing that's ever happened.11:04
  373. I mean, not for you, obviously.11:07
  374. It's bad for you.11:09
  375. Freeze.11:11
  376. NYPD.11:13
  377. Is that Raymond Holtz I see?11:14
  378. You haven't changed a bit.11:16
  379. Neither have you, Ernest.11:17
  380. What?11:19
  381. Neither have you, Ernest.11:20
  382. What?11:22
  383. Neither have you, Ernest.11:23
  384. This is hard to watch.11:27
  385. You're just as devious as ever.11:29
  386. You seduced the van driver, didn't you?11:31
  387. No, I seduced the van driver.11:33
  388. She couldn't resist my groovy voodoo.11:35
  389. And the yo -yo string was a message.11:37
  390. The what was it?11:40
  391. The yo -yo string was...11:40
  392. Captain, this is embarrassing.11:44
  393. Can we just take him in?11:45
  394. Yeah, you're right.11:47
  395. This isn't what I had hoped for.11:48
  396. Go ahead and cuff him gently.11:49
  397. This isn't the last you hear from me, Raymond.11:51
  398. I'm never going to die.11:53
  399. Sure you won't.11:55
  400. Whatever makes you feel better.11:55
  401. No, you're the punk.11:56
  402. Just put him in the car.11:58
  403. Hey Donna, just want to make sure you're okay here working at Wing Sluts.12:00
  404. Yeah, it's a good job and I'm excited about my new life.12:04
  405. Thanks.12:07
  406. Our pleasure.12:08
  407. Well, we're gonna go hit the gym for the second time today.12:09
  408. Wait, you need some protein to fuel those hard bodies.12:11
  409. It's on me.12:15
  410. What the heck?12:16
  411. One wing can't hurt.12:17
  412. Take my brother away.12:21
  413. Take my brother away.12:31
  414. I'm here.12:39
  415. I'm here.12:40
  416. I'm here.12:41
  417. You can start the meeting now.12:42
  418. The meeting is over.12:44
  419. You're late.12:44
  420. You missed roll call and the tutorial on using the new copier.12:45
  421. Six years and no matter how hard I try, I still can't get you to understand the importance of being punctual.12:48
  422. Maybe you should just give up and accept me for who I am.12:52
  423. No, I will break you right now.12:54
  424. While you were out being tardy, I was hard at work devising a special punishment.12:56
  425. I've crafted an intricate, personal high -five with everyone in this office except you.13:00
  426. What?13:05
  427. But you hate high -fives?13:05
  428. Yes, every minute of it was hell, but it'll be worse for you.13:06
  429. Squad dismissed.13:10
  430. Goodbye, Diaz.13:12
  431. Salute into a fanny -whackle.13:14
  432. Goodbye, Boyle.13:15
  433. This snake charmer.13:16
  434. Goodbye, Jefferts.13:18
  435. That's a butt bump.13:21
  436. Goodbye, Santiago.13:21
  437. Double fist bump, reverse explosion into a p -townsome strum.13:23
  438. All right, that was terrible, but it's over now and I made it through.13:26
  439. Goodbye, Leonard from Xerox.13:31
  440. What?13:32
  441. No, no, no.13:33
  442. The copy guy.13:34
  443. How long have you known he was a genius?13:35
  444. I mean, I always knew he was bright.13:37
  445. I just never realized he was that smart.13:39
  446. Well, there's no sugarcoating it.13:41
  447. You're a terrible father.13:43
  448. What?13:44
  449. You've been asleep at the wheel, man.13:44
  450. What have you done to cultivate his incredible mind?13:46
  451. I read to him every night.13:49
  452. Shakespeare, Tolstoy?13:50
  453. No, nothing that advanced.13:51
  454. You're God, so are you reading him dickens?13:52
  455. Yes.13:54
  456. Boyle, my father never saw my potential.13:55
  457. In grade school, I wanted to spend all my free time drawing graphs and charts, but he insisted I play basketball, as if I care about slam dunking a three13:58
  458. -pointer.14:06
  459. Don't be my father, Boyle.14:07
  460. I wouldn't dare.14:08
  461. What do you think I should do?14:09
  462. Let me tutor, Nicolage.14:11
  463. Nothing too strenuous.14:13
  464. Maybe some geometry, statistical mechanics, perhaps some Latin lyric poetry thrown in for fun.14:14
  465. Oh, I don't know.14:20
  466. He's really booked.14:20
  467. I guess I could cancel his cartooning class, but he really loves it.14:21
  468. Don't do that.14:24
  469. I hate to think of all the great cartoons humanity missed out on because Einstein was just too busy reinventing physics.14:25
  470. Oh, you gotta ban.14:33
  471. Stop, stop!14:37
  472. No trumpets, not today!14:38
  473. My head is killing me.14:40
  474. Hit the tequila a little early, huh?14:41
  475. I'm not hungover, Hitchcock.14:42
  476. I got attention headache.14:44
  477. I got the lieutenants exam tonight.14:44
  478. I'm stress -eating like crazy.14:46
  479. I had 10 hard -boiled egg yolks this morning.14:48
  480. Gris.14:50
  481. You're having a high -grade pretest freak out?14:51
  482. I've been there.14:53
  483. March 13th, 2001.14:54
  484. AP Calc test.14:56
  485. Ames, I hate to cut you off, but we all know where this story's going.14:57
  486. Oh, yeah?14:59
  487. You know that I crapped my pants in the middle of the test?15:00
  488. Oh, my God, no.15:02
  489. I thought you were just gonna say you got a B -plus or something.15:03
  490. More like a BM.15:05
  491. Noice.15:06
  492. You all suck!15:08
  493. You are a loser, you are a loser.15:14
  494. Son of a bitch stole my song.15:19

Что измерено в этом ролике

Темп
245 слов в минуту — быстрее, чем 92% каталога
Уровень CEFR
B2
Редукции в этой записи
gonna ×8, gotta
Слова, которые стоит знать
pronouns, shapeshifter, mcclain, reinventing, devising, yolks
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