Практика английского по видео: How To Know Yourself
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Фраза 1
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- Many of us are wondering the Earth, accomplished in many ways, capable of fulfilment at many points, but with a fundamental wound that stops us from becoming who we truly0:04
- might be.0:16
- We don't quite know who we are.0:17
- It isn't, of course, that we can't remember the basics of our biographies.0:22
- We're unsure around two things in particular.0:26
- Firstly, we don't have a stable sense of what we're worth.0:29
- And secondly, we don't have a secure hold on our own values or judgments.0:33
- Without knowing who we are, we tend to have particular trouble coping with either denigration or adulation.0:39
- If other people decide that we are worthless or bad, there will be nothing inside us to prevent us from swallowing their verdicts in their entirety.0:46
- However wrongheaded, extreme or unkind these might be.0:55
- We'll be helpless before the court of public opinion.0:59
- We'll always be asking other people what we deserve before seeking inside for an answer.1:02
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- Lacking an independent verdict, we also stand to be unnaturally hungry for external praise.1:09
- The clapping of an audience will matter to us far more than would ever be wise.1:15
- We'll be prey to rushing towards whatever idea or activity the crowd happens to love.1:21
- We'll laugh at jokes that aren't funny, uncritically accept undeserving concepts that are in vogue, and neglect our truer talents for easy popular wins.1:27
- We'll trail public opinion slavishly, constantly checking the world's whims rather than consulting an inner barometer in order to know what we should want, feel and value.1:37
- We need to be kind on ourselves.1:49
- No one is born with an independent ability to know who they are.1:52
- We learn to have an identity because if we're blessed in our early years, someone else takes the trouble to study us with immense fairness, attention and kindness, and then1:55
- plays us back to us in a way that makes sense and that we can later emulate.2:07
- They give us the beginning of a true portrait of our identity, which we can then take on and enrich over the years and use as a defence against the2:14
- distorting verdicts from hurried or ill -intentioned others.2:22
- Knowing who one is is really the legacy of having been known properly by somebody else at the start.2:27
- This early identity building tends to unfold with apparently innocuous but life -saving small steps.2:35
- Oh, that must really have hurt, a parent might say, in response to an upset, thereby validating an infant's own feelings.2:42
- Or, it's okay not to feel happy on your birthday, the parent might say at another point, delicately upholding an infant's less typical response to certain events.2:50
- Ideally, the child isn't just known, he or she is also interpreted as likeable.3:01
- A good parent offers generous interpretations, they're on the side of the child and are always ready to put the best possible gloss on moments of ill -temper or of3:07
- failure, which forms the basis upon which resilient self -esteem can then later emerge.3:17
- Now, that's the ideal but it can, of course, go very wrong and often does.3:24
- A parent may offer mirroring that is out of sync with the reality of the child.3:30
- Look who's such a happy little boy or girl, a parent might insist when actually the opposite is clearly the case, thereby badly scrambling the child's ability to connect with3:35
- their own emotions.3:46
- Or, the parent might only lend the child a very harsh, punitive way of interpreting itself, repeatedly suggesting that the child is ill -intentioned or no good.3:48
- Or, the parent may simply not show very much interest in the child, focusing themselves elsewhere, so that the child grows up with a feeling that not only is it3:58
- not worth cherishing, but also because it hasn't been adequately seen and mirrored, that it doesn't even quite exist.4:07
- A feeling of unreality is the consequence of emotional neglect.4:15
- Realizing that we lack a stable identity is a sobering realization, but we can, with a fair wind, start to correct the problem at any point.4:20
- We need to seek out the help of a wise and kindly other person, perhaps a good psychotherapist, someone who can study as closely, mirror as properly, and then validate4:30
- what they see.4:40
- Through their eyes, we can learn to study, perhaps for the first time, how we really feel, and take seriously what we actually want.4:42
- We can, by being witnessed generously, more often learn to take our own sides, and feel increasingly solid inside, trusting ourselves more than we trust the crowd, feeling that we4:51
- might be able to say no, not always swaying in the wind, and feeling that we are in possession of some of the ultimate important truths about us.5:04
- Having come to know ourselves like this, we will be a little less hungry for praise, a little less worried by opposition, and a lot more original in our thinking.5:15
- We will have learned the vital art of both knowing and befriending who we really are.5:26
- Our Know Yourself cards can help us to better understand the deepest, most elusive aspects of ourselves.5:36
- Follow the link now to learn more.5:43
Что измерено в этом ролике
- Темп
- 165 слов в минуту — быстрее, чем 31% каталога
- Уровень CEFR
- C1
- Слова, которые стоит знать
- biographies, psychotherapist, adulation, verdicts, fulfilment, upholding
