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Shadowing practice: Identity Crisis: Why Defining Yourself by Your Career Is a Problem

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  1. These days, you can't get anywhere without having a big argument about identity politics.0:05
  2. I'm this, you're that, I'm a Democrat, you're Republican, I'm liberal, you're conservative, whatever it happens to be.0:10
  3. And those sorts of identities are critically important.0:16
  4. A lot of people in business, they shy away from those identity politics discussions, but they have identity politics all their own.0:18
  5. They have an identity as a successful person.0:26
  6. They have an identity that revolves around their excellence in their job.0:28
  7. Who are you?0:35
  8. You know, I'm a father and a grandfather and I'm a husband, you know.0:36
  9. But when people ask me that question, I say I'm a professor at the Harvard Business School.0:39
  10. Why?0:43
  11. Because that's my identity.0:43
  12. Okay, that's a way to identify myself to be sure, but if that's how I see me, that's a real problem, isn't it?0:45
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  1. That strips away the really important things that I have in my life.0:52
  2. For those who see their identity as being a successful professional, specifically successful, that's kind of an identity based on fear, isn't it?0:56
  3. We all have fears.1:06
  4. I mean, I have fears.1:07
  5. It's normal to be afraid of things, but a fear of an attack on your identity, that's actually a death fear.1:09
  6. That's important.1:16
  7. Only 20 % of the population is actually afraid of dying, but a lot of people who are really good at what they do, a lot of my students, a1:17
  8. lot of people watching this, they're dead and desperately afraid of failing at work.1:24
  9. That leads to a lot of behavior that's not very healthy, as a matter of fact.1:28
  10. That kind of a stripped down cardboard cut out version of oneself, which is not good for you, it's not good for your relationships.1:32
  11. People ask me this all the time, who are extremely successful in business, as a matter of fact, who are afraid of failure, and they say, look, I need to1:39
  12. get over this, but I don't want to fail.1:46
  13. What do you recommend?1:49
  14. I actually have an exercise for that.1:50
  15. It's called the Maranasati death meditation, adapted for professional failure.1:52
  16. It actually comes from Theravada Buddhism on the southern tier of Asia, where the Buddhists would practice a contemplation of their own death.1:58
  17. If you go into a Buddhist monastery in Thailand or Vietnam or Myanmar, Sri Lanka, you'll often find that the walls are adorned with photos of corpses in different states2:06
  18. of decay, and you're like, wow, that's really morbid.2:19
  19. It's not, it turns out.2:22
  20. What happens is that the monks and nuns will contemplate those photos, and they will look at each one and say, that is me, and that is me.2:24
  21. And they'll go through this Maranasati nine part death meditation, where they contemplate different stages of a body and a body in different states of decomposition, and they'll say, that's2:33
  22. me, that's going to be me, that's me.2:42
  23. Why?2:44
  24. Because they're exposing themselves to the truth of their own mortality, such that they can transcend it and actually be fully alive right now.2:44
  25. You see how healthy that is, right?2:52
  26. Well, for people who are desperately afraid of the death of their identity as a successful person, they need to be exposed to that reality as well, because the truth2:54
  27. of the matter is, I don't care who's watching this, I don't care how successful you are.3:05
  28. The party's going to finish, man.3:09
  29. It's not going to last forever, and you have to be comfortable with that, so you can fully be alive and involved in what's going on in your life today.3:12
  30. Otherwise, you'll be immobilized by the fear of something that paradoxically is the most normal, most predictable thing in your whole life, which is that this is going to stop.3:20
  31. I recommend putting together a little nine part meditation where you say, starting off saying, I feel like I'm losing my edge at work.3:33
  32. I don't know.3:41
  33. You know, my decision making isn't as crisp as it once was.3:42
  34. And people are starting to notice it.3:46
  35. Step two might be, people are starting to make remarks about the fact that I'm losing a step.3:48
  36. Step three might be, I'm thinking the board is starting to talk about my replacement, and they're not including me in the discussions.3:55
  37. Step four is, I'm pretty sure that the end is coming for my career.4:07
  38. I'm pretty sure.4:12
  39. I don't want it to come, but I'm pretty sure it's coming.4:13
  40. Step five is, I've just gotten the word that I have to retire, even though it's not what I wanted to do.4:17
  41. Step six might be, yeah, I kind of got forced out, and the worst part is, I don't think people remember me for what I used to do.4:26
  42. They just think of me as the guy who got, who got forced out of the job.4:36
  43. Step seven is, I just went back to my workplace, and it's only six months.4:41
  44. But a lot of people are new, and they didn't know who I am.4:48
  45. Step eight is, I moved away, you know, and now the people that I talk to, they just think of me as a retired person.4:52
  46. They don't even, they don't even ask about what I used to do.5:00
  47. And step nine might be, most days I don't even think about what I used to do.5:04
  48. I'm just living a different life at this point.5:09
  49. Now, I realize that sounds really negative, but it isn't.5:12
  50. It's normal.5:17
  51. Think about those things for two minutes each.5:19
  52. Do that for three weeks, and you'll be a different person.5:21
  53. Why?5:24
  54. Not because you failed.5:24
  55. That's not even failure, by the way.5:26
  56. It's normal life.5:28
  57. You will no longer be afraid.5:30
  58. You will no longer be afraid of these things actually happening to you, because they will have happened to you in your mind, they will have happened to you in5:31
  59. your heart, and you'll be comfortable with the fact that you have a trajectory of your success and the value you're trying to create, and when it's over, you're going5:38
  60. to submit, because that's the only choice.5:45
  61. And then, then you'll be at peace.5:48
  62. Everybody needs to manage their own life like a project, and understand that your skills and interests are going to change to do things on purpose, to recognize that the5:51
  63. good times are not going to last forever, and you have to engineer new good times under different circumstances.6:03
  64. That's now what I talk about with people who are getting older, and that's the advice I'm taking for myself.6:09
  65. And I don't know.6:13
  66. I'm actually at peace for the first time in a long time.6:16

American Accent Training with a B2 Harvard Business School Lecture on Identity

This clip is american accent training built from an unscripted Harvard Business Review lecture, recorded at B2 level and moving at 204 words per minute, which is faster than most of the catalogue. Nothing here was scripted for learners: it is a working professor explaining a real idea about identity and fear, so the sentences run long and double back on themselves the way spoken argument actually does.

The subject is why people tie their sense of self to their job title, and what happens when that identity is threatened. The speaker moves from identity politics into personal history, then into fear, using words like critically, contemplate and revolves without slowing down for them. No reduced forms were measured in this recording, so what you are training here is stress and pace control on full, formal sentences rather than casual contractions.

The Language in This Talk on Identity and Fear

Repeating these lines is a direct way to improve your english accent, because the speaker builds meaning through stress and timing rather than through fillers or slang.

  • "Who are you?" is a three word question thrown at the listener before he answers it himself. Practise the falling pitch on "you" so the challenge lands.
  • "Okay, that's a way to identify myself to be sure, but if that's how I see me, that's a real problem, isn't it?" is one long sentence built on a tag question at the end. The pitch has to rise on "isn't it" for the doubt to register, not just the words.
  • "It's normal to be afraid of things, but a fear of an attack on your identity, that's actually a death fear." pivots on "but". The sentence stays quiet until that word, then the stress jumps onto "death fear" to land the claim.

Shadowing English Speaking Practice B2: Working Through This Talk Line by Line

Here is an order for shadowing english speaking practice b2 style through this specific talk, using the lines above as anchor points before you run the rest of it.

  • Start with line 7, "Who are you?", alone. Say it as a real question, not a list item, until the falling pitch feels natural.
  • Add line 9's "I say I'm a professor at the Harvard Business School", and notice how flat and fast it comes out compared to the question before it.
  • Take line 12 whole, "Okay, that's a way to identify myself to be sure, but if that's how I see me, that's a real problem, isn't it?", and shadow it in one breath so the tag question stays attached to the sentence instead of trailing off separately.
  • Move to line 17, "It's normal to be afraid of things, but a fear of an attack on your identity, that's actually a death fear.", and repeat it slowing down only on the second half.
  • Once those four lines are solid, run lines 1 through 20 in order at full speed. At 204 words per minute this talk does not wait for you, so the run through is the actual test.
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