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Shadowing practice: Funniest Moments from Season 1: Part 1 | The Middle

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  1. That's my youngest, Brick.0:00
  2. You know how you think giving a kid a cool name will make him cool?0:02
  3. It doesn't.0:05
  4. Okay, now listen.0:07
  5. Today at recess, I don't want you wandering around alone on the perimeter, alright?0:09
  6. Makes you an easy target, you know?0:14
  7. Like the gazelle that gets separated from the pack.0:16
  8. You've gotta find yourself a group of kids and just stand near them.0:18
  9. You know you're my hero, right, Mom?0:24
  10. Thank you, honey.0:27
  11. Eat your pancake.0:27
  12. It's still frozen.0:28
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  1. Well, look, it'll last longer.0:30
  2. Hey, Mike, have you seen that envelope with my driver's license from the DMV?0:32
  3. I need it for work.0:36
  4. That one over there would be Axel.0:38
  5. Since he hit 15, he hibernates in his room and only comes out to paw through our food and shoot off sarcastic comments.0:41
  6. Oh, rough chips.0:48
  7. Nice job, Mom.0:51
  8. Yeah, I can't hear you if you don't have pants on.0:52
  9. Mom, where's my homework?0:55
  10. Aha!0:57
  11. When did this happen?1:05
  12. Mike, look at this.1:07
  13. Look at this.1:09
  14. This is, I haven't had my driver's license picture taken in seven years, okay?1:09
  15. Here's the old one.1:12
  16. Look at this.1:14
  17. What happened to me?1:15
  18. Well, back then, you're all young and shiny and wondering what your life's gonna be.1:16
  19. And now, well, now you know.1:21
  20. Mom!1:26
  21. Hey, come in here if you want to talk to me.1:28
  22. Axel, put some pants on here.1:30
  23. Okay, maybe it was just a bad picture.1:33
  24. I mean, yikes.1:35
  25. Mike, has it ever bummed you out that I'm not young and shiny anymore?1:38
  26. Oh, sure, honey.1:43
  27. It's a huge bummer, but what are you gonna do?1:44
  28. Oh, shoot.1:46
  29. I wanted chips for my lunch.1:48
  30. She didn't buy any.1:50
  31. Sue, grab a pancake.1:52
  32. We're late.1:53
  33. That's Sue.1:55
  34. She's been going through a bit of an awkward stage for the past 13 years.1:56
  35. Mom, the dryer ate my leg warmers again.2:00
  36. I told you, you can't put wet things in the dryer anymore.2:03
  37. Well, I need them, because...2:06
  38. Guess what?2:08
  39. I'm trying out for show choir this week.2:10
  40. I know, I know.2:12
  41. That's not an expression parents should have on their faces when their daughter tells them she's trying out for something.2:13
  42. But see, Sue had a long history of things she tried out for.2:18
  43. A long and painful history.2:23
  44. Yodabo, Ser, Ex, Obtata, and El Club, Espanyol, por qué soy sinis.2:26
  45. Show choir.2:35
  46. Wow, super.2:37
  47. That should be fun to try out for.2:38
  48. Now listen, Dad's gonna fix the dryer again, but right now I just need everybody to go.2:41
  49. Let's get out the door.2:44
  50. Come on.2:45
  51. Let's go, let's go.2:45
  52. That driver's license picture was a big wake up call from the DMV.2:47
  53. Somehow the life had been sucked right out of me.2:52
  54. But who or what had sucked it?2:55
  55. Mom!2:59
  56. Mom!3:00
  57. Mom, he's not gonna be my bad dad.3:01
  58. Mom!3:02
  59. Mom!3:03
  60. You didn't teach him the word dad, did you?3:05
  61. Oh, oh, Daddy!3:08
  62. I'm ready for you to watch me swim now.3:09
  63. Hey, finally.3:11
  64. One of my kids is actually getting in the pool.3:13
  65. He was dying of something old people died of.3:15
  66. So you brought it.3:17
  67. All right, Sue!3:19
  68. Come on, kids, show us how it's done.3:21
  69. Hi guys.3:41
  70. Do you have fun at the pool?3:43
  71. Dad said that I suck at swimming and I shouldn't try out for a swim team.3:44
  72. Then I bought you a creamsicle.3:51
  73. Since when did telling the truth become a bad thing?3:56
  74. Sue's a sensitive young girl who needs to be treated delicately.3:59
  75. Her emotions are right on the surface.4:02
  76. She's not Axl.4:05
  77. We're her parents, Mike.4:10
  78. It's our job to cheer her on no matter what.4:11
  79. Hey, I love my daughter and I'm not gonna have her made fun of.4:14
  80. If someone's gonna dash her hopes, dammit, it should be her family.4:17
  81. Mom, Dad, guess what?4:21
  82. They did an eye test today at school and I need glasses.4:24
  83. In retrospect, I guess there were signs.4:28
  84. Oh, I only want one.4:33
  85. I don't need both of them.4:34
  86. Thanks.4:35
  87. Oh, I got it!4:37
  88. Isn't it exciting?4:39
  89. I've always wanted glasses!4:41
  90. Mike, don't you see what this means?4:44
  91. Dad, we're never getting a new dryer.4:47
  92. Oh, this explains why Sue never makes anything.4:49
  93. She's blind!4:52
  94. Oh, Mike, see, you never know what's gonna happen in life.4:53
  95. That's why you don't dash someone's dreams.4:57
  96. Right.5:00
  97. That's why you can't...5:01
  98. Mom, which part of me is my hungering manhood?5:04
  99. If the library finds we're half a dryer, glasses were a whole dryer.5:08
  100. But luckily, the Frugal Hoosier has an optical department.5:13
  101. And no mirrors.5:17
  102. Dork.5:20
  103. Dork.5:22
  104. I would never stop punching you.5:25
  105. Knock it off.5:28
  106. She's a young girl with emotions all over her surface.5:30
  107. Or something like that.5:33
  108. Anyway, our job is to cheer her on.5:35
  109. Oh my God, those look so great.5:38
  110. Seriously.5:41
  111. I think you should really, really buy them.5:41
  112. Okay.5:44
  113. Guess these are the ones.5:45
  114. There is no stopping me on Swim Team now.5:46
  115. You're still trying out?5:50
  116. Yeah.5:51
  117. Mom told me you said I shouldn't try out because you wanted to test how much I really wanted it.5:52
  118. Well, I will want it, Dad.5:57
  119. Now more than ever.5:59
  120. Well, if that's what you mom said, then I'm sure that's what I meant.6:00
  121. Oh, Mom!6:04
  122. Mom, you made it!6:05
  123. I'm up!6:07
  124. Oh, Sue!6:09
  125. Yeah, yeah, I made it!6:10
  126. I made it!6:13
  127. I'm here now!6:14
  128. Swim for me, baby!6:15
  129. Okay.6:23
  130. All right!6:24
  131. Best shoe!6:25
  132. Best shoe!6:26
  133. It wasn't her eyes.6:30
  134. Mike was right.6:32
  135. She sucked.6:33
  136. Okay, it's fine.6:42
  137. It'll be fine.6:48
  138. Yeah, we're fine.6:49
  139. We're fine.6:50
  140. We're fine.6:50
  141. Tornado!6:53
  142. Oh, come on!6:54
  143. Because it doesn't matter how big the storm or how much stuff gets blown your way.6:58
  144. If you have each other, you're going to be fine.7:03
  145. That's everything because there's nothing more important.7:04
  146. Holy crap!7:08
  147. Is that a dryer?7:09
  148. You see it too, right, Mike?7:13
  149. The tornado gave us a dryer.7:15
  150. Quick, get it inside before anybody sees.7:19
  151. Our luck started to turn around after that.7:26
  152. Some stupid bank actually approved us for a brand new credit card, so we paid off Bricks Library fines.7:29
  153. We were able to afford contacts for Sue, and she actually made the swim team.7:36
  154. Well, 34th alternate.7:40
  155. And the best part of the new credit card?7:42
  156. No payments till 2012.7:45
  157. And I'm sure by 2012, everything's going to be great.7:47
  158. Okay, see, this is why you never give up hope, because anything is possible.7:50
  159. I mean, you just never know what's going to happen.7:56
  160. You just got to hang in there and believe in hot damn riggy, there's clues in there.7:58
  161. You're exhausted, and you need to take a little break, alright?8:03
  162. Right now.8:06
  163. I can't!8:07
  164. Of course you can.8:08
  165. You deserve it.8:09
  166. The world's not going to stop turning if you take 15 minutes.8:10
  167. Ellen will be all over me because I didn't make the coffee.8:12
  168. I'll do it, alright?8:15
  169. That's my anniversary gift to you.8:16
  170. Alright?8:17
  171. Go.8:19
  172. Enjoy.8:19
  173. Bob was right.8:28
  174. I did need 15 minutes.8:29
  175. I mean, it wasn't French lick, but it was something.8:31
  176. We're going to end it here.9:24
  177. We're going to end it here.9:24
  178. We're going to end it here.9:24
  179. We're going to end it here.9:24
  180. We're going to end it here.9:24
  181. We're going to end it here.9:25
  182. Sometimes you don't know how badly you need something until...9:26
  183. What the...9:29
  184. Who in the hell made the coffee?9:32
  185. Mom, where are you?9:38
  186. Mom, mom!9:41
  187. Mom, I am so, so sorry.9:43
  188. Hey mom, uh, Annie asked me to be a driver to the mall, so if you don't call me back, say no in 60 seconds, I'll assume you're okay with9:47
  189. it.9:55
  190. While at the same time, Brick had decided to take the dog for a pull to show off the many sights of Orson.9:58
  191. This is my favorite place.10:04
  192. You're the first person or dog that I've ever brought here.10:06
  193. Apparently Brick's favorite place was also Sue's favorite place to cry.10:12
  194. Sue?10:16
  195. Oh no, Doris!10:20
  196. Uh, Annie, I don't think that's okay.10:29
  197. It's alright, it's my driving gear.10:32
  198. Isn't that Doris?10:37
  199. Doris!10:47
  200. Ma 'am, I already spoke to your aunt, but I need to clear up a few things with you.10:51
  201. I understand your children were trying to get in touch with you.10:56
  202. Yeah, I am so sorry.10:58
  203. I just turned off my phone for 15 minutes.10:59
  204. You turned off your phone, but you're a mom.11:01
  205. I just needed a break.11:04
  206. From what?11:06
  207. Being a mom?11:07
  208. No, well, yes.11:08
  209. Okay, I just have one question for you.11:12
  210. Why didn't a single one of you think to call your father?11:14
  211. Dad hates it when we call him at work.11:18
  212. It's so nice to meet you.11:23
  213. Hi, can Brick come out and play?11:25
  214. Hey Brick, your girlfriend's here.11:27
  215. Get out there and have fun.11:30
  216. I don't want to.11:31
  217. You're not getting a lot of offers, bud.11:34
  218. Come on, she's cute.11:36
  219. I told you I'd be here at three.11:48
  220. Why weren't you waiting outside?11:50
  221. And another thing, make sure you're free on Saturday.11:52
  222. We have a birthday party.11:54
  223. You forgot, didn't you?11:56
  224. It's like you don't hear a word I'm saying.11:58
  225. I hear all the words Olivia, all of them.12:00
  226. All of them?12:04
  227. And why do you whisper to yourself?12:05
  228. It's so annoying.12:07
  229. How do you break up with the girl?12:09
  230. You sure you want to break up with that chick?12:12
  231. I mean, you're kind of a weird dude.12:13
  232. You got a little hottie that likes you.12:15
  233. I'm sure.12:16
  234. Alright, well, girls like it when you talk to them, so try blowing her off or something.12:17
  235. How do I do that?12:22
  236. Like this.12:24
  237. Great advice, Axel.12:33
  238. Now we're married and we have a baby.12:35
  239. I can't do it anymore.12:39
  240. Tell her you're stuck with her.12:41
  241. But it's not all bad.12:43
  242. Olivia's got her strong points.12:44
  243. She's strong.12:46
  244. I know.12:48
  245. She threw a pumpkin at the car.12:49
  246. Hey, if you and this chick got pretend married, why don't you skip pretend divorced?12:55
  247. She said if we ever broke up, she'd take half my books and we'd split the babies.12:58
  248. She'd get strawberry shortcake and I'd get rainbow bright.13:04
  249. I'm not even sure if rainbow bright is mine.13:07
  250. I don't know what to tell you, Brick.13:12
  251. Women are complicated.13:14
  252. They're not simple and straightforward like us guys.13:16
  253. Yeah, I only got two thoughts in my head.13:19
  254. Driving and sex.13:21
  255. Oh, grades.13:22
  256. I mean, driving and grades.13:23
  257. Unfortunately, she's the kind of girl who won't move on until she's found some other poor sucker she can torment.13:27
  258. Oh, yeah.13:36
  259. Olivia called earlier.13:41
  260. She wants you to buy her lunch tomorrow.13:42
  261. She said it's her favorite and that you would know what that is.13:44
  262. Oh, God.13:48
  263. I don't.13:49
  264. I just feel like I've slacked off.13:50
  265. I used to try to set up play dates for him, but I ran through every boy in the neighborhood.13:53
  266. I like juice.13:57
  267. You do?14:00
  268. Hey, well, Brick likes juice too, don't you, Brick?14:01
  269. Look at that.14:04
  270. Two juice -lovin' boys.14:05
  271. Your move.14:11
  272. Oh, Brick's catching up.14:17
  273. Coming up the ladder.14:19
  274. Good fun, huh, boys?14:21
  275. I like juice too.14:24
  276. I hope you like mint chocolate chip.14:28
  277. Brick, what are you doing?14:35
  278. You have a friend over.14:37
  279. I just want a little privacy.14:39
  280. That kid is a little too much.14:41
  281. That kid is weird.14:41
  282. Weird.14:43
  283. Look, if you want, I can help Brick make friends.14:46
  284. But you know what I'm gonna say.14:50
  285. Don't say it.14:51
  286. Sports!14:52
  287. There.14:54
  288. I said it.14:54
  289. Hey, Brick, get in there.14:55
  290. This is Brick we're talking about.14:56
  291. He's gonna suck.14:58
  292. She's gonna suck, but it's still the best way for a boy to make friends.14:59
  293. Hey, we're signing up for a team.15:02
  294. What sport you like?15:04
  295. I like basketball.15:06
  296. See?15:08
  297. He likes basketball.15:09
  298. That ought to be good for some friends.15:10
  299. Or get him beat up.15:12
  300. By his friends.15:14
  301. Come on, guys.15:16
  302. Come on.15:17
  303. Okay, get out there, play some ball, and make some friends.15:18
  304. Hustle!15:21
  305. Dad, why aren't you yelling?15:23
  306. Because that's the way we talk in sports.15:25
  307. Go get him!15:27
  308. Okay, Dad!15:28
  309. All right, all right.15:29
  310. Go, go, go!15:31
  311. All right, let's start.15:35
  312. Spalding.15:40
  313. It says spalding, Brick.15:41
  314. Don't read the ball!15:44
  315. We're okay, Dad!15:54
  316. Wow, what are you doing?16:07
  317. Can you take me to a book signing this weekend?16:09
  318. My favorite writer is going to be there.16:11
  319. What?16:13
  320. Yeah, sure, whatever.16:13
  321. Just get back out there.16:15
  322. Put your hands out of your pockets.16:17
  323. Catch -up packets.16:22
  324. They're my security condiments.16:24
  325. They soothe me.16:26
  326. You're playing a basketball game.16:27
  327. You're not supposed to be soothed.16:28
  328. Give me those things.16:30
  329. Come on, get back in the game.16:32
  330. Make a friend, won't you?16:34
  331. Mom, school pictures came today.16:40
  332. Oh, God, no.16:42
  333. Please, no.16:43
  334. I was just on a sugar cube high, and now this.16:44
  335. I haven't looked yet.16:47
  336. Oh, boy.16:48
  337. Okay, let's do this together.16:50
  338. Sue has many wonderful qualities, but we've never seen any of them show up on film.16:53
  339. Okay.17:03
  340. No biggie.17:05
  341. We just have to go for a retake, right?17:05
  342. But to get a retake, I have to give this one back.17:09
  343. What if the retake picture is worse than this?17:12
  344. I'll be stuck with it.17:15
  345. I think it's worth the risk.17:16
  346. And maybe next time...17:18
  347. I know, I know.17:20
  348. Just relax and be myself.17:21
  349. No, remember, we tried that last year, and maybe if you thought of something pleasant like a rainbow or Ashton Kutcher.17:22
  350. There you go.17:32
  351. Perfect.17:34
  352. Now, can you do that again tomorrow?17:34
  353. No.17:36
  354. I'm just gonna hold it until then.17:37
  355. Oh, is that the new picture?17:40
  356. Well, not good.17:42
  357. No, no.17:45
  358. Let me be the...17:46
  359. Oh, yeah, no.17:47
  360. That is not good.17:48
  361. What even is that face?17:50
  362. I had a blister in my mouth, and I was feeling it with my tongue.17:52
  363. Why would you do that while he's taking the picture?17:56
  364. I just can't stop.17:59
  365. So what do I do now?18:02
  366. I only have one retake left.18:03
  367. I think you gotta double down.18:06
  368. Look what I found.18:08
  369. Oh, hey, thanks man.18:09
  370. No, you moron.18:11
  371. It's the sandwich I told you to throw away this morning.18:13
  372. What were you thinking?18:14
  373. Hey, Axel, look at me.18:16
  374. Look at me and continue looking at me.18:20
  375. Better.18:22
  376. I thought I told you to throw this sandwich away.18:23
  377. No, you said take it to the kitchen.18:26
  378. Then throw it out.18:27
  379. You didn't say that.18:28
  380. Okay, well, then let me break it down for you so you won't get confused.18:29
  381. You're gonna take this plate, the one with the sandwich on it, and take it to the kitchen, the room with the sink, and you're gonna throw the sandwich in18:32
  382. the garbage, and you're gonna put the dirty dish in the dishwasher.18:40
  383. And you're going to do this after every meal for as long as you live in this house.18:43
  384. Got it?18:48
  385. Fine, whatever.18:50
  386. Now, I'll get to it.18:52
  387. Chill.18:55
  388. Oh, God, you were always on fire.18:59
  389. And while we're on the subject, your mom and I are sick of your attitude.19:02
  390. From now on, when she asks you to do something, you do it.19:06
  391. You gotta admit, my partner is pretty hot.19:09
  392. Also, you're gonna start earning your keep around here.19:12
  393. As a matter of fact, your mom has a whole list of things she wants you to do.19:14
  394. Go, Frankie.19:17
  395. Oh, um, yes, there's a lot of stuff for you to do.19:19
  396. Just give me a second.19:22
  397. I'm kind of on the spot here.19:23
  398. Okay, well, whatever she comes up with, you're gonna do it with a smile on your face.19:26
  399. Break the leaves.19:29
  400. Fold the laundry.19:30
  401. Clean the light fixtures.19:32
  402. Ooh, they're coming now.19:33
  403. Um...19:34
  404. You can't do this.19:34
  405. You heard your mother.19:36
  406. God, this is so unfair.19:37
  407. And you're gonna fix that, too.19:49
  408. No way.19:51
  409. No.19:52
  410. It was already broken.19:53
  411. Mom's been telling you to fix that hinge for like a month, right, Mom?19:54
  412. I support your father.19:58
  413. Classic!20:02
  414. This door stays right where it is until you march your butt back here and fix it.20:03
  415. Oh, I forgot to mention.20:10
  416. Two days a week, the Orson Herald puts out an evening edition.20:12
  417. Okay, here it is.20:17
  418. The last picture.20:19
  419. Oh, hey, the door's back.20:21
  420. I was too nervous to look, but I think it might be okay.20:23
  421. Maybe.20:25
  422. I don't know.20:27
  423. You look first.20:27
  424. Oh, honey.20:32
  425. It is wonderful.20:33
  426. Really?20:36
  427. Honest?20:36
  428. Man, you look beautiful the third time's a charm.20:38
  429. And sometimes without any discussion, you find yourself back on the same page.20:41
  430. Yes, I nailed it.20:45
  431. Oh, my lord.20:51
  432. You've never seen her make that expression in my life.20:54
  433. What is that?20:57
  434. She tries.20:59
  435. She has to be tall.21:00
  436. She's consistent.21:01
  437. Oh.21:03
  438. So.21:03
  439. So the day of the social worker visit had arrived, and we all pulled together to make a good impression.21:05
  440. How do I look?21:12
  441. Take that off!21:13
  442. Damn it, Axel, take it off!21:14
  443. Don't hit me.21:16
  444. Not funny, Axel.21:17
  445. Not funny.21:18
  446. Hey, why are you crying?21:23
  447. I'm just so scared.21:25
  448. Honey, I'm going to give you a piece of advice that my dad gave me once.21:27
  449. He said, son, stuff those feelings down.21:30
  450. Stuff them down, and eventually they'll go away.21:34
  451. And I have not cried since.21:36
  452. Okay, what do you think?21:41
  453. Shades open or close?21:42
  454. No, close looks like we're hiding something.21:43
  455. Open, open!21:46
  456. Oh, my God, the raccoon's torn to the garbage.21:48
  457. They never got picked up.21:51
  458. So get out there and clean that up.21:51
  459. Okay, where is the Bible?21:55
  460. I want to put it on the coffee table.21:58
  461. You know, we don't have a real book anywhere.22:00
  462. Just People Magazine.22:02
  463. Mike, quick, turn all the TVs to PBS.22:04
  464. What channel is that?22:09
  465. I don't know.22:11
  466. She's here.22:14
  467. Oh!22:18
  468. Oh!22:19
  469. You see?22:19
  470. It's clean.22:21
  471. That's why I never wash the windows.22:21
  472. Are you okay?22:23
  473. Oh, my God.22:25
  474. Son, you can't get a welt on your head.22:26
  475. Not now.22:28
  476. Okay, don't swell up, Sue.22:30
  477. Don't swell.22:31
  478. What are we going to do?22:33
  479. It's very nice to meet you.22:39
  480. It's very nice to meet you, too.22:41
  481. Her head gets cold.22:49
  482. It's just nice to have you here.22:53
  483. It really is.22:55
  484. Can I get you something to drink?22:56
  485. No, I'd love some herbal tea.22:58
  486. Oh, no.23:00
  487. I don't have herbal tea.23:01
  488. I mean, I know it's good for you, but I just don't like it.23:02
  489. I'm so sorry.23:04
  490. I'm so, so sorry.23:05
  491. I don't have herbal tea.23:05
  492. Oh, honestly, it's okay.23:11
  493. Look, don't worry.23:13
  494. It's better if everyone just stays relaxed, okay?23:14
  495. So I'm going to need to speak with each member of the family individually.23:17
  496. Great.23:22
  497. That sounds great.23:23
  498. We're not nervous.23:24
  499. So how many hours a day would you say that you spend together as a family?23:28
  500. Just about every chance we get.23:32
  501. We love spending time together.23:34
  502. We're together all the time.23:35
  503. Two.23:38
  504. I don't know.23:39
  505. What's the right answer?23:40
  506. So what are Flushed Families like?23:42
  507. Are there any with, like, in -ground pools or...?23:43
  508. Would you say that you drink alcohol on a regular basis?23:46
  509. No!23:49
  510. No, not at all.23:50
  511. Hardly ever.23:52
  512. Three times a week?23:53
  513. More if the colds are losing?23:54
  514. I just thought my family's so much.23:56
  515. Are there any foster families available with cute teenage girls?23:58
  516. Because they wouldn't be considered my sisters, right?24:01
  517. Does your wife ever get angry?24:04
  518. Oh...24:08
  519. Uh...24:09
  520. Uh...24:10
  521. Uh...24:11
  522. Uh...24:12
  523. And what do you do as a family for fun?24:12
  524. Oh, uh, biking, canoeing, visiting ancient Native American historical sites and looking for arrowheads.24:15
  525. Watch TV.24:21
  526. Watch TV.24:22
  527. Watch TV?24:23
  528. I don't...24:25
  529. Is that the right answer?24:26
  530. I don't...24:27
  531. I just love my family so much!24:28
  532. Okay.24:31
  533. Brick is up next.24:32
  534. Yep, our future was in his hands.24:34
  535. Brick, would you like to show me to your room?24:37
  536. Okay.24:39
  537. Brick?24:40
  538. Let me show you the room that I share with my brother.24:44
  539. Mom, Dad, this is Brad.24:52
  540. My boyfriend.24:56
  541. Ah -hoo!24:58
  542. Be cool.25:00
  543. Yep.25:02
  544. Hi, Brad.25:03
  545. Hi, you guys.25:04
  546. Oh my gosh, I'm super excited to finally meet my GF's peas.25:05
  547. Girlfriend's parents.25:09
  548. I looked it up later.25:11
  549. Well, we are so excited to meet you too, Brad.25:12
  550. Aren't we, Mike?25:15
  551. Yep.25:16
  552. So you, uh, like to...25:17
  553. Square dance, huh?25:19
  554. Oh, I just love square dancing.25:21
  555. Well, all types of dance, really.25:22
  556. You know, ballet, tap, rhythmic.25:24
  557. OMG, is that vintage flannel?25:27
  558. No, just, just old.25:29
  559. And super cute.25:31
  560. Well, thanks.25:34
  561. We're gonna go get my flash dance CD, and Brad's gonna show me some choreography he made up.25:35
  562. Well, he seems nice.25:46
  563. Very.25:49
  564. Still worried?25:50
  565. No.25:51
  566. You think we should say something to Sue?25:52
  567. No, she'll figure it out eventually, or he will.25:53
  568. What?26:00
  569. The Black Friday sale is earlier this year.26:02
  570. What's earlier than midnight?26:05
  571. Six o 'clock on Thanksgiving Day.26:06
  572. We have got to be there when the door's open.26:09
  573. Look, the first hundred customers get 20 % off and a free soft pretzel.26:12
  574. All right, okay.26:16
  575. I'm just gonna have to go in and...26:17
  576. Oh!26:20
  577. I'll ask Mr.26:21
  578. Ellert for a different shift.26:22
  579. I know it's against the rules, but can Brad and I hang out in my room?26:24
  580. Sure.26:29
  581. Close the door if we're bothering you.26:30
  582. Wow.26:32
  583. Now I get why they say the corn's as high as an elephant's eye.26:32
  584. Elephant?26:36
  585. You know when I saw an elephant?26:37
  586. Mom and Dad took us to Africa on that safari.26:39
  587. They did not.26:41
  588. They did too.26:43
  589. I peed in the Nile.26:43
  590. What's up?26:47
  591. Brick?26:54
  592. Brick?26:56
  593. Brick!27:00
  594. Hey, have you seen a little kid about this tall?27:05
  595. I lost my little brother, you know?27:10
  596. I lost my little brother in the corn maze in 53.27:12
  597. When the wind rustles the leaves, I could still hear him calling.27:16
  598. Brick!27:22
  599. Brick!27:24
  600. Brick!27:26
  601. Brick!27:27
  602. Where are you?27:29
  603. Better find him before they start plowing and see a little boy from high up on a corn chopper.27:30
  604. Brick!27:37
  605. Brick!27:38
  606. Brick!27:40
  607. Brick!27:49
  608. Oh my God!27:50
  609. Please help me find my brother.27:50
  610. He's lost and I'm so scared.27:51
  611. Um, what's he wearing?27:53
  612. He's got like a green jacket and a yellow hat and oh my God, he's dressed like corn.27:54
  613. We are never going to find him in here.28:00
  614. Hi!28:02
  615. Brick!28:03
  616. Oh my God!28:04
  617. I've never let you out of my sight, okay?28:06
  618. Never ever ever, never ever again, alright?28:07
  619. What's up?28:11
  620. Grandpa Big Mine!28:15
  621. Boys!28:17
  622. How's the corn maze?28:18
  623. Axel, honk to me.28:19
  624. Oh, shut up.28:20
  625. Do we...28:21
  626. I love you, I love you so much.28:22
  627. Uh, what are you doing?28:25
  628. We have a company or something?28:26
  629. No, I don't know.28:27
  630. I just thought we'd eat in here.28:28
  631. Did the kids break the big TV?28:30
  632. Hey kids, get in here!28:32
  633. No, no, nobody brought the TV.28:34
  634. No, I just thought, you know, we don't have to eat with the TV every night.28:36
  635. We could just sit and talk to each other.28:39
  636. Whoa, why are there plates on the table?28:42
  637. Because that's where we're eating dinner.28:44
  638. What?28:45
  639. I don't want to watch the little TV.28:46
  640. Did someone break the big TV?28:47
  641. The TVs are fine.28:49
  642. We're just not watching them until after supper.28:51
  643. Tonight, we're having a family dinner and here for a change.28:53
  644. Dad?29:00
  645. You heard your mother.29:02
  646. Everybody...29:03
  647. sit down.29:04
  648. What is the big deal?29:06
  649. We've eaten at the table before.29:08
  650. I don't have a chair.29:12
  651. Huh.29:14
  652. I guess we hadn't really eaten at the table since we had brick.29:15
  653. Not a problem.29:19
  654. We have more chairs outside.29:20
  655. Dad, why are we doing this?29:23
  656. Uh, maybe your mom and I need to, uh, talk to you.29:25
  657. I don't know.29:28
  658. Are you getting a divorce?29:29
  659. Let's see how this goes.29:30
  660. This'll be fun.29:35
  661. You know, this is actually how a lot of people eat dinner every night.29:37
  662. They sit and they face each other and they ask each other questions about how their day went.29:41
  663. Let's do that.29:45
  664. So, what was your high and what was your low of the day?29:46
  665. My low was right now.29:50
  666. Fine.29:51
  667. I'll do it.29:52
  668. My high is having dinner here with my family.29:53
  669. My low is the comment that Axel just made.29:56
  670. Sue.30:00
  671. My high was that the guy who sits next to me in science saw me in the hallway today and seemed to sort of recognize me.30:02
  672. Hmm.30:08
  673. My low was that I was wrong.30:09
  674. He didn't.30:12
  675. Loser!30:13
  676. What did I say about sneezing words at your sister?30:15
  677. My low is realizing that my family never bought a chair for me.30:18
  678. My high is like neat food wrapped at the table.30:21
  679. Oh.30:25
  680. Uh, wait.30:26
  681. I want to change my low.30:27
  682. Okay, alright, alright.30:28
  683. Let's just forget highs and lows.30:29
  684. We'll do something different.30:31
  685. Hmm.30:32
  686. Everybody, look at the person on your left and say something nice.30:34
  687. You mean well.30:40
  688. Thank you.30:43
  689. Axel, you do, Sue?30:45
  690. Uhhhhhhh.30:49
  691. Your head is basically the right size for your body.30:53
  692. Ah.30:56
  693. Ah.30:56
  694. Really?30:57
  695. You're not just saying that.30:58
  696. No, it's everything like below the head that's got the problem.30:59
  697. Shut up.31:03
  698. You know what shuts people up?31:04
  699. TV.31:05
  700. Listen, you kids are not even trying.31:06
  701. Your brother and sister, and this is the only relationship that is going to last your whole life.31:09
  702. You know, someday your dad and I are not going to be around anymore and you're only going to have each other.31:14
  703. Are you dying?31:19
  704. Oh, that's why we're eating at the table.31:21
  705. She's dying.31:24
  706. No, I'm not dying.31:25
  707. Oh my god, dad's dying.31:27
  708. Nobody is dying.31:29
  709. Why can't we all just die now and get over with?31:31
  710. Mike.31:33
  711. Axel.31:33
  712. What did I say?31:34
  713. You're just saying that you're just saying that everybody's dying.31:35
  714. Alright, that's it.31:37
  715. That's it.31:39
  716. You three are going to start loving each other right now because that's what your mother wants.31:41
  717. Right?31:50
  718. Is that what you want?31:50
  719. My family was supposed to be here at 11 o 'clock and they said they would come, but I don't know why they're not here yet.31:55
  720. So they said they would be on time.31:59
  721. Is there any way we can just hold...32:01
  722. ...the hand?32:45
  723. That was beautiful.32:50
  724. How could you be late?32:57
  725. It was dad's fault.32:59
  726. He fell asleep.33:00
  727. Why is that, Mike?33:01
  728. Is it because you were exhausted?33:02
  729. Is it because Christmas is hard?33:04
  730. It's not hard and we would have been there sooner, but the kids had to open a gift.33:06
  731. Oh, some gift.33:10
  732. I've only got family minutes.33:11
  733. Why would everyone talk to my family?33:13
  734. As you open it, I don't get it.33:14
  735. I don't get it.33:17
  736. You have a job?33:19
  737. Oh, do you have any idea how disgusting it is to have to clean up after other people?33:20
  738. I have some idea, yeah.33:24
  739. Everybody stop yelling.33:25
  740. Yelling?33:28
  741. Oh no!33:30
  742. Oh no!33:31
  743. Oh no!33:32
  744. Oh no!33:34
  745. I can't stop!33:35
  746. I can't stop!33:37
  747. See what you did?33:39
  748. What did I do?33:40
  749. I did it!33:41
  750. I did it!33:42
  751. I did it!33:42
  752. I did it!33:42
  753. I did it!33:45
  754. I did it!33:53
  755. I did it!33:54
  756. I did it!33:56
  757. I did it!33:56
  758. I did it!33:56
  759. I did it!33:58
  760. I did it!33:58
  761. I did it!33:59
  762. I did it!34:02
  763. I did it!34:05
  764. I did it!34:07
  765. Mom?34:16
  766. Mom?34:16
  767. Thank you, Sue.34:18
  768. I, uh...34:22
  769. I like myself when I'm dead.34:24
  770. You're welcome, son.34:26
  771. Frankie, Christmas is hard.34:30
  772. Thank you.34:34
  773. That's all I wanted to hear.34:36
  774. Hey, look what I found!34:40
  775. My Santa Pes dispenser!34:42
  776. It slid out from underneath the seat the second time we almost died.34:45
  777. It's a Christmas miracle!34:49
  778. So almost dying, twice, had made the rest of us start thinking about our own existence.34:52
  779. But for Brick, it made him...34:57
  780. stop.34:59
  781. Hey, there's candy in it!35:00
  782. Don't eat that!35:02
  783. It's like two years...35:03
  784. Go ahead.35:07
  785. Was the two -year -old Pes dispenser sliding out from under the dirty, crud -encrusted bottom of our car seat?35:09
  786. A Christmas miracle?35:14
  787. Who knows?35:16
  788. Listen, I'm 16 now, and I think we can all agree that I've proven myself to be responsible.35:17
  789. You took out the garbage once.35:23
  790. And I brought in the paper.35:24
  791. So, you know, I think you guys should consider the fact that I clearly deserve my own car.35:27
  792. And there it was.35:32
  793. The reason Axel was being so nice.35:34
  794. See, ever since Axel got his driver's license a few weeks ago, he'd been chomping at the bit to drive every chance he could get.35:35
  795. I need eggs!35:43
  796. I need milk!35:46
  797. I need tampons!35:51
  798. After all the grief you gave me about those jeans...35:56
  799. Jeans are dumb.36:01
  800. A car is freedom.36:02
  801. Fine.36:04
  802. If you can find a car at the same price as those jeans, you go for it.36:05
  803. I should have known better.36:13
  804. That cost 112 bucks?36:24
  805. 110.36:27
  806. Keep the change.36:28
  807. I'm texting Bella that you picked me up in your own car.36:29
  808. I'm texting Bella that you look really cute tonight.36:32
  809. I'm texting Bella that I look really cute tonight.36:36
  810. You don't have to text Bella about this.36:44
  811. Way to go, Dad.36:47
  812. I told you it was the carburetor.36:48
  813. He's so lame.36:50
  814. It's not the carburetor.36:52
  815. You don't know.36:53
  816. You don't know anything.36:54
  817. He doesn't know anything.36:55
  818. Axel, watch it.36:58
  819. I was just trying to help.37:00
  820. So I'm texting Bella that your dad is dropping this off at the movies.37:01
  821. I'm texting Bella that your dad is tall.37:04
  822. Tall and clueless.37:07
  823. Okay.37:13
  824. Here we are.37:13
  825. This is my house.37:16
  826. That's right, Kate.37:17
  827. Axel isn't going to be able to go out with you tonight.37:19
  828. I'm sorry, because clearly you're a very high level of girl.37:21
  829. But until Axel learns the correct way to talk to his dad, he's not going anywhere.37:24
  830. You're welcome to text Bella that too.37:28
  831. Yeah?37:33
  832. Hi.37:34
  833. Hi, Rita.37:36
  834. I just wanted to stop by and, um, well, if you look in here, I think you might find a few items you'd like.37:37
  835. Okay.37:55
  836. There is no need to thank me for the food.37:56
  837. Just be a neighborly, because that's what neighbors do.37:58
  838. Help each other.38:02
  839. Okay.38:04
  840. You're probably a little embarrassed, but don't be.38:15
  841. I'm just reaching out here trying to get to know you, you know?38:19
  842. And please, what I did certainly doesn't require a thank you.38:23
  843. Good.38:29
  844. But actually, it does require a thank you.38:36
  845. I don't have a lot of money and I bought you all those groceries.38:39
  846. So, look, if you want to go around giving people food so you can feel high and mighty about yourself, fine.38:42
  847. Don't expect me to kiss your behind.38:47
  848. Hey, I'm reaching out here trying to be a good neighbor.38:48
  849. All I want.38:52
  850. Ha.38:53
  851. There it is.38:54
  852. I knew you came here wanting something, just like that handy husband of yours.38:56
  853. That was an accident.39:01
  854. What do you want?39:04
  855. I'll tell you what I want.39:05
  856. I want my kids to be able to play in the front yard without having to run from your psycho dog.39:06
  857. I want to be able to plant shrubs knowing they aren't going to be yanked out of the ground.39:12
  858. I finally want to put a damn pumpkin out and know it's actually going to make it to Halloween.39:16
  859. Hey, I came over here hoping that we had more similarities than differences, but you know what?39:22
  860. We don't.39:27
  861. So you think you're better than me?39:28
  862. You haven't set the bar very high.39:30
  863. The whole neighborhood is better than you.39:32
  864. And you know why?39:34
  865. Because we don't let our kids blow up mailboxes or beat people up or steal.39:35
  866. My boys don't do that.39:39
  867. Really?39:41
  868. Look around, Rita.39:42
  869. None of this is yours.39:43
  870. People give my boys lots of stuff.39:46
  871. They're charismatic.39:48
  872. They're bullies.39:49
  873. And you're a bully.39:50
  874. And we've all been too scared to do anything about it.39:51
  875. But not anymore, Missy.39:54
  876. Thank you.39:56
  877. This is the Donahue's ball.39:58
  878. Hey, stop that.40:00
  879. And these are the Webers.40:01
  880. Hey, haven't got your balls, Jimmy.40:03
  881. Where's that damn dog when you need him?40:06
  882. Razor Blade.40:10
  883. Come on out here, boy.40:11
  884. We got trespassers.40:13
  885. That's right.40:14
  886. Come on.40:15
  887. Get your stuff.40:16
  888. We don't have to be afraid anymore.40:17
  889. Mr.40:19
  890. Miller, there's a rape with your name on it.40:20
  891. That's it.40:22
  892. I am calling the police.40:23
  893. No, you're not.40:25
  894. You know what?40:34
  895. Go ahead.40:35
  896. Call them.40:37
  897. I'm sure they'd be very interested in all this stuff.40:37
  898. Hey, Mrs.40:41
  899. Lady.40:42
  900. Well, look what we have here.40:43
  901. The lawn chair you thought disappeared from the block party.40:45
  902. She may have one lack of this mine.40:48
  903. Mrs.40:51
  904. Lady, is this your lawn chair?40:52
  905. Mrs.40:54
  906. Lady, is this or is this not your lawn chair?40:56
  907. Tell the truth or lose our neighborhood forever.41:01
  908. Yes!41:08
  909. Yes, it's my lawn chair.41:09
  910. It's my neighborhood now.41:15
  911. I'm my pit pregnant with a pro basketball player's kid.41:24
  912. I'm going to be out of this town soon anyway.41:27
  913. I'm going to be out of this town soon.41:39

American Accent Practice with a Fast Family Sitcom Scene

This clip is english speaking practice built from a few minutes of family sitcom banter: a mom coaching her son before school, a dad staring at an old driver's license photo, two teenagers drifting through the kitchen with deadpan complaints. The accent is American, the level is B2, and at 224 words per minute it moves faster than 80% of the clips in this catalogue. If you are working on your american accent training or want to learn english with series instead of textbooks, this is a scene with real overlapping dialogue rather than a scripted monologue.

That speed is exactly what makes it worth shadowing. Lines interrupt each other the way real family conversation does, with almost no pause between speakers, so keeping up with it trains you to improve english speaking at the pace people actually talk, not the slowed down pace of a classroom recording.

The Reductions and Deadpan Lines Worth Studying

Three moments in the opening carry most of the interest for pronunciation and delivery.

  • "Like the gazelle that gets separated from the pack." The mom drops into a nature documentary register mid warning, and the joke only lands if you hit "gazelle" and "pack" with the same mock serious weight she does.
  • "Well, back then, you're all young and shiny and wondering what your life's gonna be." "gonna" replaces "going to" here, one of twenty reductions in this recording, and the line rides a falling, resigned intonation that "now you know" then confirms.
  • "It's a huge bummer, but what are you gonna do?" Another "gonna," thrown away almost carelessly, with the stress landing on "bummer" rather than on the reduced verb.
  • "I mean, yikes." Two words, but the pause before them and the flat delivery do the comic work: say it too fast and the joke disappears.

How to Shadow This Scene, Line by Line

Work through the opening in this order rather than jumping straight to full speed.

  • Start with line 8, "You've gotta find yourself a group of kids and just stand near them," and repeat it until "gotta" comes out reduced, not as two full words.
  • Move to line 17, the longest sentence in the opening, "Since he hit 15, he hibernates in his room and only comes out to paw through our food and shoot off sarcastic comments," and split it into two breath groups before trying it whole.
  • Shadow line 30 for intonation only, matching the falling pitch on "shiny" and the flat close on "gonna be" in "Well, back then, you're all young and shiny and wondering what your life's gonna be."
  • Once those three lines feel natural, run the passage from line 1 to line 58 at full speed to test whether you can hold the 224 words per minute pace without dropping words, which is real daily english conversation practice, not a slowed down drill.
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