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Pratique du shadowing : ‘Mom’ Moments That Are Better Than You Remember (Season 3)

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  1. Please tell me I'm not staying three visitors in this room at the same time.S'il te plaît, dis-moi qu'il n'y a pas trois visiteurs dans cette chambre en même temps.0:00
  2. Oh, come on, Wendy.Allez, Wendy.0:03
  3. Hospital rules, only two visitors at a time.Règles de l'hôpital, deux visiteurs maximum à la fois.0:05
  4. Somebody's gotta go.Quelqu'un doit partir.0:08
  5. You two grab a snack.Vous deux, allez prendre une collation.0:09
  6. I'm not done with deathbed Barbie.Je n'en ai pas terminé avec la Barbie sur son lit de mort.0:10
  7. You're putting makeup on her?Tu lui maquilles le visage?0:13
  8. I've been wanting to do this since I met her.J'avais envie de faire ça depuis que je l'ai rencontrée.0:15
  9. Ow, ow, ow, ow.Aïe, aïe, aïe, aïe.0:19
  10. Oh, Christy, what are we gonna do with this mustache?Oh, Christy, qu'est-ce qu'on va faire avec cette moustache?0:26
  11. You gotta get me out of here.Tu dois m'aider à sortir d'ici.0:30
  12. What?Quoi?0:32
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  1. I had my finals in two hours.J'ai mon examen final dans deux heures.0:33
  2. If you don't help me get to that school, I'm gonna be a waitress for the rest of my life.Si tu ne m'aides pas à aller à l'école, je vais être serveuse le reste de ma vie.0:34
  3. Oh, Christy, I don't think that's a good idea.Oh, Christy, je ne pense pas que ce soit une bonne idée.0:37
  4. Please, Jill, I'm begging you.S'il te plaît, Jill, je t'en supplie.0:40
  5. Wendy said you need to rest.Wendy a dit que tu devais te reposer.0:42
  6. Wendy's a nurse.Wendy est infirmière.0:43
  7. She has to say that.Elle doit dire ça.0:44
  8. You're my best friend.Tu es ma meilleure amie.0:46
  9. You know how much this means to me.Tu sais combien c'est important pour moi.0:47
  10. I'm your best friend?Je suis ta meilleure amie?0:50
  11. You didn't know that?Tu ne le savais pas?0:51
  12. You're number one speed dial on my phone.Tu es le numéro un sur la liste d'appels rapides de mon téléphone.0:53
  13. Okay, what do you need?D'accord, de quoi as-tu besoin?0:57
  14. Your keys and your coat.Tes clés et ton manteau.0:58
  15. Okay, okay.D'accord, d'accord.1:00
  16. Thanks, Bestie.Merci, ma meilleure amie.1:01
  17. Are you sure you're well enough to drive?Tu es sûre que tu es bien assez en forme pour conduire?1:03
  18. Absolutely.Absolument.1:06
  19. Well, promise me you'll be careful.Promets-moi que tu seras prudente.1:07
  20. I will.Je le promets.1:10
  21. Thanks.Merci.1:11
  22. I owe you.Je te dois une faveur.1:12
  23. Christy, wait.Christy, attends.1:14
  24. I'm a little low on gas.J'ai presque plus d'essence.1:16
  25. You mind filling it up on your way back?Ça te dérangerait de remplir le réservoir en revenant?1:17
  26. Sure.Bien sûr.1:20
  27. I'll wash if you have the time.Je vais le laver si tu as le temps.1:22
  28. Oh, boy.Oh, non, c'est bon.1:33
  29. Okay, I hear you.D'accord, je t'entends.1:38
  30. I don't see you.Je ne te vois pas.1:40
  31. Where are you?Allez, je suis tombée sur un accident.1:43
  32. No, no, no!Rouler avec une seule main et un téléphone.1:48
  33. Put me down!Ce n'était pas ma faute.1:49
  34. I have rights!C'est bon, Christy, je suis sûre que ce n'était pas ta faute.1:50
  35. I know because I memorized them!Je le sais parce que je les ai mémorisés!1:51
  36. You rat bastard.Espèce de traître.1:55
  37. I'm sorry, but they forced it out of me!Je suis désolé, mais ils m'ont forcé de parler!1:58
  38. Yeah, we said where's Christy?Ouais, on a demandé où était Christy?2:01
  39. It was your turn.C'était ton tour.2:04
  40. It was very threatening.C'était très menaçant.2:05
  41. Okay, everybody out.D'accord, tout le monde dehors.2:07
  42. She needs rest.Elle a besoin de repos.2:09
  43. We still besties?On est toujours copines?2:14
  44. Oh, that Hot Wheels?Oh, ce Hot Wheels?2:28
  45. He's checking in to see how we're doing.Il vient vérifier comment on va.2:30
  46. Oh, sweet.Oh, c'est gentil.2:33
  47. Here he is with all his stuntman buddies.Le voilà avec tous ses copains cascadeurs.2:35
  48. Oh, that's a lot of tank tops.Oh, y a beaucoup de débardeurs.2:37
  49. Adam seems like a good guy.Adam a l'air d'être un mec bien.2:41
  50. Yes.Oui.2:44
  51. I'm sure he's a good guy.Je suis sûre que c'est un mec bien.2:45
  52. You thinking of Don and me love him too?Tu penses que Don et moi on l'aime aussi?2:46
  53. I'm thinking about it, but I'm scared.J'y pense, mais j'ai peur.2:48
  54. Oh, Bonnie, of what?Oh, Bonnie, de quoi?2:50
  55. He's already said he loves you.Il t'a déjà dit qu'il t'aime.2:52
  56. Well, technically, he said love you.Eh bien, techniquement, il a dit "je t'aime".2:53
  57. It was love you.C'était "je t'aime".2:56
  58. Love you?Oui, j'étais nulle. J'avais peur de tout.2:57
  59. No.Mais ma mère m'a poussée.2:58
  60. Love you.Elle a dit que j'étais capable de tout faire si je m'en donnais la peine.2:59
  61. Love you.Et ensuite, tu as réalisé que tu pouvais tout faire?3:01
  62. Love you.Non, j'ai réalisé que je suis juste une personne ordinaire.3:03
  63. Love you.Et voilà, je suis contente d'être ordinaire.3:04
  64. I did it!Je ne pense pas que tu sois ordinaire.3:14
  65. I finished!Eh bien, merci.3:15
  66. I'm gonna be a lawyer.Je vais devenir avocate.3:25
  67. That's cool.C'est cool.3:27
  68. I'm studying to be a doctor.J'étudie pour être docteur.3:28
  69. Oh, have you seen anybody?Oh, tu as vu quelqu'un?3:30
  70. We could be a power couple.On pourrait être un couple de choc.3:34
  71. Here we are.Nous voilà.3:38
  72. Let's get you to bed.Allons, au lit.3:39
  73. Oh, boy.Oh, mon dieu.3:41
  74. So how's this gonna work?Alors comment ça va marcher?3:43
  75. What do you mean?Qu'est-ce que tu veux dire?3:45
  76. I've never done the girl -on -girl thing before.J'ai jamais fait un truc fille avec fille avant.3:46
  77. Do we have to breed a bunch of dogs first, or do we just get right to it?On doit d'abord faire des chiots ou on y va directement?3:50
  78. We're not gay.On n'est pas gay.3:56
  79. Then how come we were at a lesbian piano bar?Alors pourquoi on était dans un bar lesbian?3:57
  80. That was an AA meeting.C'était une réunion des Alcooliques Anonymes.4:00
  81. Oh!Oh!4:03
  82. So that's why no one was dancing.C'est pour ça que personne ne dansait.4:03
  83. So anyway, which one of you is gonna be the dude?Alors de toute façon, qui va être l'homme?4:08
  84. Who are you looking at me for?Pourquoi tu me regardes?4:13
  85. Yeah, you're just gonna sleep it off on the couch, and then tomorrow we start working on your new life in sobriety.Ouais, tu vas dormir sur le canapé et demain on commence ton nouveau vie à être sobres.4:16
  86. But I'm horny.Mais j'ai envie.4:21
  87. Stop looking at me!Arrête de me regarder!4:26
  88. I'm trying to help pickles!J'essaie d'aider les cornichons!4:34
  89. What the...Quoi le...4:40
  90. You know, I'm thinking there's good money in getting people sober.Tu sais, je pense qu'y a du fric à faire en mettant les gens à décuver.4:42
  91. Maybe we should start our own rehab.Peut-être qu'on devrait ouvrir notre propre rehab.4:47
  92. I like it.J'aime bien.4:50
  93. Plunket house.Maison Plunket.4:51
  94. If you drunk it, come to Plunket.Si tu as trop bu, viens à Plunket.4:53
  95. I'm writing that down, because I know we'll forget it.Je l'écris parce que je sais qu'on va oublier.4:57
  96. Help!J'ai entendu dire que tu allais bien.5:08
  97. Call the police!Merci.5:09
  98. Yeah, help!Je suis allée parler à ton médecin.5:10
  99. Police!Il a dit que tu aurais probablement pu te lever et aller aux toilettes.5:11
  100. I got you.Non.5:13
  101. Let go!Oui, il a dit que tu aurais pu faire beaucoup de choses.5:15
  102. What's going on?Qu'est-ce qui se passe?5:17
  103. Call the police.Appelle la police.5:19
  104. This woman attacked me.Cette femme m'a attaquée.5:20
  105. You attacked me!Tu m'as attaquée!5:21
  106. Attack you?Je t'ai attaquée?5:22
  107. I can't even see you!Je ne te vois même pas!5:23
  108. Everybody calm down.Calmez-vous tous.5:25
  109. Who are you?Qui êtes-vous?5:27
  110. It's me, Christy.C'est moi, Christy.5:28
  111. Remember?Tu te souviens?5:29
  112. What the hell is going on?Qu'est-ce qui se passe bordel?5:30
  113. It's okay, Mr.Ça va, Monsieur.5:31
  114. Munson.Munson.5:32
  115. We're trying to help a fellow alcoholic.On essaie d'aider un alcoolique.5:32
  116. I'm not an alcoholic.Je ne suis pas alcoolique.5:34
  117. Spoken like a true alcoholic.C'est ce qu'un vrai alcoolique dirait.5:35
  118. You got time for this nonsense if you can't fix my heater.Tu as du temps pour ces conneries si tu ne peux pas réparer mon radiateur?5:37
  119. Who are you people?Qui êtes-vous?5:41
  120. I'm inside.Je suis dedans.5:42
  121. Everything's gonna be just fine.Tout va bien se passer.5:43
  122. Call the police.Appelle la police.5:44
  123. I'm being kidnapped.Je suis enlevée.5:45
  124. Not to worry.Pas d'inquiétude.5:46
  125. Have a nice night.Bonne nuit.5:47
  126. Crazy, presumably, white women.Des femmes blanches devenues folles, probablement.5:51
  127. Michelle, listen to me.Michelle, écoute-moi.5:56
  128. You don't have to live your life like this anymore.Tu ne dois pas vivre comme ça.5:57
  129. We are here for you.On est là pour toi.6:00
  130. We recover together.On se rétablit ensemble.6:01
  131. Welcome to Plunket House.Bienvenue à Plunket House.6:04
  132. What are you talking about?De quoi tu parles?6:08
  133. I just had a bad day.J'ai juste eu une mauvaise journée.6:09
  134. Aren't they all bad days?Elles ne sont pas toutes mauvaises?6:12
  135. No, I got passed over for a promotion at work and decided to get hammered.Non, j'ai été passée sur le côté pour une promotion et j'ai décidé de me soûler.6:13
  136. So this isn't a regular thing with you?Donc ce n'est pas habituel pour toi?6:19
  137. Of course not.Bien sûr que non.6:22
  138. Are you sure?Tu es sûre?6:23
  139. Because in our experience as addiction specialists, denial of the disease is a real problem.Parce que d'après notre expérience, nier la maladie c'est un vrai problème.6:25
  140. Listen, dumbass.Écoute, idiote.6:32
  141. This is maybe the second time I've been drunk since college.C'est peut-être la deuxième fois que je suis soûle depuis l'université.6:35
  142. How about we give you a ride home?Et si on te ramenait chez toi?6:42
  143. Really?Vraiment?6:44
  144. After the dumbass comment?Après ce qu'elle a dit?6:44
  145. Tell me this isn't perfect on you.Dis-moi que ce n'est pas parfait sur toi.6:48
  146. It is beautiful.C'est magnifique.6:50
  147. I'm crying already thinking of you wearing this.Je pleure rien qu'en imaginant toi dedans.6:52
  148. Listen, about the price Gregory's mom offered to take care of it.Écoute, pour le prix, la mère de Gregory a proposé de s'en charger.6:54
  149. Hey, this is my little girl's wedding.Hé, c'est le mariage de ma fille.6:58
  150. I am more than capable of buying her a dress.Je suis tout à fait capable d'acheter une robe.7:00
  151. Not this one specifically, but a very nice dress.Pas celle-ci spécifiquement, mais une très belle robe.7:03
  152. All right, why don't we take a look over here at the bride on a budget rack?D'accord, pourquoi ne pas regarder ici à la section des robes de mariée pas chères?7:07
  153. What attitude from an middle -aged broad working retail?Quelle attitude d'une femme d'un certain âge qui travaille dans le commerce!7:12
  154. Sorry, I'm late.Désolée, je suis en retard.7:16
  155. Someone hid my keys, but for God, I can see on top of things.Quelqu'un a caché mes clés, mais bon Dieu, je peux voir sur les choses.7:17
  156. I'm so glad you're here.Je suis si heureuse que tu sois ici.7:22
  157. I wouldn't miss it for the world.Je ne le manquerais pour rien au monde.7:23
  158. What are we looking at?Que regardons-nous?7:25
  159. Just trying to find something reasonably priced.On essaie juste de trouver quelque chose de pas trop cher.7:26
  160. Oh, Christy, your only daughter's wedding is not the time to go cheap.Oh Christy, le mariage de ta seule fille n'est pas le moment d'être économe.7:28
  161. You're right.T'as raison.7:32
  162. I should spend the same amount on her that you spent on me.Je devrais dépenser la même chose pour elle que tu as dépensé pour moi.7:34
  163. Oh, wait, that was nothing.Oh attends, c'était rien.7:36
  164. Because I knew the marriage wouldn't last.Parce que je savais que le mariage ne durerait pas.7:38
  165. I don't think her marriage is going to last, but that doesn't stop me.Je pense pas que son mariage va durer, mais ça m'arrête pas.7:40
  166. What?Quoi?7:43
  167. Not important, honey.C'est pas important, chérie.7:44
  168. Just trying to hurt grandma.J'essaie juste de faire du mal à grand-mère.7:45
  169. You know what?Tu sais quoi?7:46
  170. Let's try on the expensive one.Essayons la chère.7:47
  171. Mom, you don't have to.Maman, t'as pas besoin.7:49
  172. No, but I want to because that's what good mothers do.Non, mais je veux parce que c'est ce que font les bonnes mères.7:50
  173. But the price.Eh bien, c'est cher.7:53
  174. Forget the price.C'est ta robe de mariée.7:54
  175. Try it on.Tu devrais dépenser un peu d'argent.7:55
  176. Oh, my God.Je vais dépenser trop.7:57
  177. Right this way.Non, tu ne vas pas.7:58
  178. Okay.Fais-moi confiance.7:59
  179. Thanks a lot.D'accord, je vais te faire confiance.8:03
  180. Now I'm on the hook for a dress I can't afford.Maintenant je suis coincée avec une robe que je peux pas me permettre.8:05
  181. Oh, don't worry about it.Oh, ne t'inquiète pas.8:07
  182. You're gifted.T'es douée.8:08
  183. You'll figure it out.Tu vas te débrouiller.8:09
  184. Don't you dare ruin this special day with my daughter.N'ose pas gâcher ce jour spécial avec ma fille.8:10
  185. Oh, I think this special day will be ruined when your credit card gets declined.Oh, je pense que ce jour spécial sera gâché quand ta carte de crédit sera refusée.8:13
  186. That's it.Les gens regardent.8:17
  187. Get out.Je m'en fiche.8:18
  188. Get out?Je suis heureux aussi.8:18
  189. You heard me.Tu m'as entendu.8:19
  190. Turn into a bat and fly away.Transforme-toi en chauve-souris et vole.8:20
  191. Make me.Force-moi.8:23
  192. I didn't think so.Je ne pensais pas.8:26
  193. You're going to get off of me.Tu vas te laisser faire.8:31
  194. What is wrong with you?Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas chez toi?8:32
  195. What is wrong with me?Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas chez moi?8:34
  196. All right, that's it.D'accord, ça suffit.8:36
  197. You've got record hands now.Tu as les mains de record maintenant.8:37
  198. I swear to God, I will have a thought for you out of this.Je jure à Dieu, j'aurai une pensée pour toi.8:39
  199. No, I'm not letting go.Non, je ne lâche pas prise.8:43
  200. And I am taking you down.Et je vais te faire descendre.8:45
  201. That's all you ever done.C'est tout ce que tu as jamais fait.8:47
  202. Here comes the bag.Voici le sac qui arrive.8:51
  203. Mama, grandma.Maman, grand-mère.8:55
  204. Oh honey, you look beautiful.Oh chérie, tu es magnifique.8:58
  205. Really pretty.Vraiment jolie.9:00
  206. How much time do we have?Combien de temps avons-nous?9:03
  207. Not a lot.Pas beaucoup.9:05
  208. Let's just grab her stuff and get out.Prenons juste ses affaires et partons.9:06
  209. What about those big potted plants in the lobby?Et ces grandes plantes en pot dans le hall?9:07
  210. We're not here to just randomly steal things.On n'est pas là juste pour voler des trucs au hasard.9:10
  211. Then why'd you bring me?Alors pourquoi tu m'as amené?9:12
  212. Hello?Allô?9:16
  213. Gregory?Gregory?9:18
  214. We're good.Ça va bien.9:20
  215. You get Violet's clothes.Toi, tu prends les vêtements de Violet.9:21
  216. I'll get the rest of her stuff.Je vais prendre le reste de ses affaires.9:23
  217. Got it.D'accord.9:24
  218. Kristi?Kristi?9:25
  219. Yeah?Ouais?9:26
  220. Are we just going to get her things?On va juste prendre ses affaires?9:26
  221. Are we going to go all helter -skelter on top of this?On va faire du bordel par-dessus tout ça?9:27
  222. Just getting her things.Juste prendre ses affaires.9:30
  223. We'll be visiting on the way out.On va visiter en sortant.9:31
  224. Does Violet drink a spurtzo?Violet boit un spurtzo?9:40
  225. I don't know, maybe.Je ne sais pas, peut-être.9:43
  226. Well, this is poppily -herser.Eh bien, c'est poppily-herser.9:44
  227. You're eating his food?Tu manges sa nourriture?9:51
  228. May I remind you, that cheating son of a bitch broke your daughter's heart.Puis-je te rappeler que ce fils de salaud infidèle a brisé le cœur de ta fille.9:53
  229. Clear out the fridge.Vide le frigo.9:58
  230. I feel like we hit the jackpot at Bed Bath & Beyond.J'ai l'impression qu'on a trouvé le jackpot chez Bed Bath & Beyond.10:02
  231. You think that's Violet's giant flat screen TV?Tu penses que c'est le énorme écran plat de Violet?10:07
  232. It's bigger than ours, so yes.C'est plus grand que le nôtre, donc oui.10:10
  233. Oh.Oh.10:16
  234. Hello?Allô?10:20
  235. Phyllis, hi.Phyllis, salut.10:21
  236. We didn't expect to see you here.On ne s'attendait pas à te voir ici.10:23
  237. Yeah, I get that from the looting.Ouais, je vois ça au pillage.10:25
  238. We're just getting my daughter's things.On prend juste les affaires de ma fille.10:29
  239. And some of my sons.Et certaines affaires de mes fils.10:31
  240. I gave him that espresso machine.I gave him that espresso machine.10:33
  241. Oh, sorry.Oh, sorry.10:35
  242. It looks just like the one we gave Violet.It looks just like the one we gave Violet.10:36
  243. I'm sorry, I'm not.I'm sorry, I'm not.10:39
  244. Okay, we're just going to take this stuff out to the car and then I'll come back for the rest of Violet's clothes.Okay, we're just going to take this stuff out to the car and then I'll come back for the rest of Violet's clothes.10:41
  245. I'm sorry things didn't work out.I'm sorry things didn't work out.10:46
  246. Yeah, me too, but what are you going to do?Yeah, me too, but what are you going to do?10:49
  247. Your son met someone else.Your son met someone else.10:52
  248. What?What?10:54
  249. Please.Please.10:55
  250. My Gregory with two women at the same time?My Gregory with two women at the same time?10:57
  251. Two donuts, maybe.Two donuts, maybe.11:00
  252. That's what Violet said.That's what Violet said.11:04
  253. Are you saying my daughter lied to me?Are you saying my daughter lied to me?11:06
  254. Yeah.Yeah.11:09
  255. Or maybe you raised a scumbag of a son.Or maybe you raised a scumbag of a son.11:10
  256. Oh, now he's a scumbag.Oh, now he's a scumbag.11:13
  257. You really don't have a second gear, do you?You really don't have a second gear, do you?11:15
  258. Well, what did Gregory tell you?Well, what did Gregory tell you?11:18
  259. My son, who has never lied to me, told me that Violet has been drinking a lot and doing the pot and the ecstasy.My son, who has never lied to me, told me that Violet has been drinking a lot and doing the pot and the ecstasy.11:21
  260. Okay, first of all, there's no the in front of pot and ecstasy.Okay, first of all, there's no the in front of pot and ecstasy.11:32
  261. You would know.You would know.11:37
  262. And I think I would know if Violet had a problem.And I think I would know if Violet had a problem.11:40
  263. You sure about that?You sure about that?11:43
  264. You know what, Phyllis?You know what, Phyllis?11:46
  265. I've got a daughter at home crying her eyes out.I've got a daughter at home crying her eyes out.11:47
  266. I am not going to stand here and argue with you.I am not going to stand here and argue with you.11:49
  267. I'll stay.I'll stay.11:51
  268. Come on.Come on.11:52
  269. Screw her, blaming Violet.Screw her, blaming Violet.11:57
  270. Wait till she realizes she's having mustard for dinner.Wait till she realizes she's having mustard for dinner.11:59
  271. And we're taking those plants.And we're taking those plants.12:02
  272. Well, as a psychotherapist, I know that if a woman has a positive relationship with her mother, she's more likely to forge strong bonds with her own children.Well, as a psychotherapist, I know that if a woman has a positive relationship with her mother, she's more likely to forge strong bonds with her own children.12:04
  273. Sorry.Sorry.12:13
  274. Too late.Too late.12:14
  275. Anyway, I can't wait to be a father, and you and Violet getting along will only make her a better mom.Anyway, I can't wait to be a father, and you and Violet getting along will only make her a better mom.12:17
  276. I get that, but you can wait a little while, right?I get that, but you can wait a little while, right?12:25
  277. Yeah, well, we're not even married yet.Yeah, well, we're not even married yet.12:29
  278. On the other hand, I'm not getting any younger.On the other hand, I'm not getting any younger.12:31
  279. True.True.12:34
  280. You wait too long, you'll be shooting sawdust.You wait too long, you'll be shooting sawdust.12:35
  281. Mom, uh -oh.Mom, uh -oh.12:38
  282. Where do you think sawdust comes from?Where do you think sawdust comes from?12:40
  283. You have lots of time to have kids, and I know that Violet's not in a rush.You have lots of time to have kids, and I know that Violet's not in a rush.12:45
  284. She wants to finish college, maybe even start a career before she has another baby.She wants to finish college, maybe even start a career before she has another baby.12:51
  285. I'm sorry, another baby?I'm sorry, another baby?12:56
  286. Huh?Huh?12:59
  287. You just said before she has another baby?You just said before she has another baby?13:00
  288. Yeah, you did just say that.Yeah, you did just say that.13:05
  289. Why'd you say that?Why'd you say that?13:06
  290. Are you telling me that Violet had a baby?Are you telling me that Violet had a baby?13:09
  291. I think it's charming you giggle after sex.I think it's charming you giggle after sex.13:16
  292. Who's ready for banana cream?Who's ready for banana cream?13:22
  293. What's wrong?What's wrong?13:25
  294. Excuse me.Excuse me.13:27
  295. What's going on?What's going on?13:32
  296. Violet, I assumed you told him about the baby.Violet, I assumed you told him about the baby.13:35
  297. Oh, God, I'm so sorry.Oh, God, I'm so sorry.13:39
  298. I do so much better when you are not in my life.I do so much better when you are not in my life.13:44
  299. I know how upset you must be, but if we leave now, we'll be in trouble.I know how upset you must be, but if we leave now, we'll be in trouble.13:53
  300. We can get home in time to see the fourth quarter.We can get home in time to see the fourth quarter.13:58
  301. The coast is clear, Julian.The coast is clear, Julian.14:02
  302. Nothing scary out here except a $12 bar of chocolate.Nothing scary out here except a $12 bar of chocolate.14:04
  303. I'm sorry.I'm sorry.14:11
  304. I kind of lost it in there.I kind of lost it in there.14:13
  305. No worries.No worries.14:15
  306. When you first get sober, crying on the bathroom floor is kind of a rite of passage.When you first get sober, crying on the bathroom floor is kind of a rite of passage.14:16
  307. They should make it one of the 12 steps.They should make it one of the 12 steps.14:21
  308. Thank you for being so patient with me.Thank you for being so patient with me.14:24
  309. I'm sure you had better things to do with your night.I'm sure you had better things to do with your night.14:27
  310. It's sweet that you think so.It's sweet that you think so.14:29
  311. Well, I guess I should get going.Well, I guess I should get going.14:32
  312. Do you have to?Do you have to?14:34
  313. Can we maybe just sit and talk for a little while?Can we maybe just sit and talk for a little while?14:36
  314. Sure, I guess.Sure, I guess.14:40
  315. You know, I've been talking about myself all night.You know, I've been talking about myself all night.14:48
  316. I haven't asked anything about you.I haven't asked anything about you.14:51
  317. That's okay.That's okay.14:53
  318. I talk about myself plenty.I talk about myself plenty.14:54
  319. That's pretty much all I do.That's pretty much all I do.14:56
  320. You married?You married?14:58
  321. Nope.Nope.15:00
  322. You must have a boyfriend?You must have a boyfriend?15:00
  323. Not at the moment.Not at the moment.15:02
  324. And by moment, I mean 18 months and 26 days.And by moment, I mean 18 months and 26 days.15:04
  325. That's a lot of moments.That's a lot of moments.15:09
  326. Yeah, maybe it's my turn to go cry on your bathroom floor.Yeah, maybe it's my turn to go cry on your bathroom floor.15:11
  327. You know, you are a remarkable woman.You know, you are a remarkable woman.15:17
  328. Thank you.Thank you.15:20
  329. You are...You are...15:20
  330. I don't even have the words.I don't even have the words.15:26
  331. Okay, here's the thing.Okay, here's the thing.15:31
  332. You are extremely vulnerable right now, and I've been a part of the program long enough to know that this is not a good idea.You are extremely vulnerable right now, and I've been a part of the program long enough to know that this is not a good idea.15:32
  333. So, I should go.So, I should go.15:43
  334. And I'm going to go.And I'm going to go.15:46
  335. Here I go.Here I go.15:48
  336. I'm really sorry.I'm really sorry.15:51
  337. That wasn't the reason I called you tonight.That wasn't the reason I called you tonight.15:53
  338. I know it's okay.I know it's okay.15:55
  339. You're kind of nuts right now, but a good nuts, hot nuts.You're kind of nuts right now, but a good nuts, hot nuts.15:56
  340. Please stop saying nuts.Please stop saying nuts.16:02
  341. So, to recap, go to a lot of meetings, get a male sponsor that is critical in your case.So, to recap, go to a lot of meetings, get a male sponsor that is critical in your case.16:05
  342. And if you're still sober in a year from now, call me.And if you're still sober in a year from now, call me.16:14
  343. We can try that kiss again.We can try that kiss again.16:18
  344. Deal.Deal.16:22
  345. I'm serious.I'm serious.16:23
  346. One year.One year.16:25
  347. Put it in your phone.Put it in your phone.16:26
  348. Thank you.Thank you.16:28
  349. You're welcome.You're welcome.16:30
  350. Okay.Okay.16:39
  351. I did the right thing.I did the right thing.16:41
  352. But I still love you.But I still love you.16:46
  353. I can hear you, Kristina.I can hear you, Kristina.16:49
  354. Kristi, I need you to make reservations for lunch at Trevenia.Kristi, I need you to make reservations for lunch at Trevenia.16:55
  355. Sure.Sure.16:58
  356. What time?What time?17:01
  357. I don't know.I don't know.17:03
  358. What time do you want to eat?What time do you want to eat?17:05
  359. How about after our tennis lesson?How about after our tennis lesson?17:07
  360. Sounds good.Sounds good.17:10
  361. We also have to go shopping later.We also have to go shopping later.17:12
  362. What do you need?What do you need?17:14
  363. A personal assistant who dresses better.A personal assistant who dresses better.17:16
  364. You're buying me clothes?You're buying me clothes?17:19
  365. Well, somebody should.Well, somebody should.17:22
  366. I'm okay.I'm okay.17:25
  367. Also, do you think you could start talking with a British accent?Also, do you think you could start talking with a British accent?17:28
  368. What?What?17:32
  369. Well, I just think a British assistant is classier.Well, I just think a British assistant is classier.17:33
  370. I'll give it my best, Gavna.I'll give it my best, Gavna.17:38
  371. Never mind.Never mind.17:43
  372. Now I feel like a hardened orphan.Now I feel like a hardened orphan.17:45
  373. These are my new work clothes.These are my new work clothes.17:49
  374. And so are these.And so are these.17:52
  375. And so are these.And so are these.17:53
  376. She took you shopping?She took you shopping?17:55
  377. Yep.Yep.17:57
  378. Also got my hair done.Also got my hair done.17:57
  379. Upstairs and downstairs.Upstairs and downstairs.17:59
  380. Got a little landing strip in case I get laid in the fog.Got a little landing strip in case I get laid in the fog.18:01
  381. How is getting waxed part of your job?How is getting waxed part of your job?18:06
  382. Jill wanted to see how it looked on me before she did it.Jill wanted to see how it looked on me before she did it.18:09
  383. I might be getting new boobs next week.I might be getting new boobs next week.18:13
  384. Jill?Jill?18:19
  385. Thank God.Thank God.18:21
  386. I was running out of dirty talk.I was running out of dirty talk.18:22
  387. I didn't know what you liked, so I got flavored, ribbed, and glowed in the dark.I didn't know what you liked, so I got flavored, ribbed, and glowed in the dark.18:25
  388. I guess that's in case you lose track of them.I guess that's in case you lose track of them.18:29
  389. Extra large.Extra large.18:32
  390. You know me so well.You know me so well.18:33
  391. I didn't know you were seeing someone.I didn't know you were seeing someone.18:36
  392. Why didn't you tell me?Why didn't you tell me?18:38
  393. Well, he's very private and kind of famous.Well, he's very private and kind of famous.18:39
  394. You're having celebrity sex?You're having celebrity sex?18:44
  395. Who is it?Who is it?18:45
  396. Is it someone good?Is it someone good?18:46
  397. I'm sorry.I'm sorry.18:47
  398. I really can't say.I really can't say.18:48
  399. Hey, you owe me.Hey, you owe me.18:50
  400. I just got slut -shamed by the cashier at the pharmacy.I just got slut -shamed by the cashier at the pharmacy.18:51
  401. No.No.18:54
  402. Now I gotta go.Now I gotta go.18:55
  403. I got a semi -aroused household name upstairs.I got a semi -aroused household name upstairs.18:56
  404. Wait, Jill, one more thing.Wait, Jill, one more thing.18:59
  405. What?What?19:00
  406. Please tell me who you— Night.Please tell me who you— Night.19:02
  407. Wow.Wow.19:07
  408. A famous person is putting on a condom that I bought.A famous person is putting on a condom that I bought.19:08
  409. Again, I'm really sorry.Again, I'm really sorry.19:13
  410. No, stop.No, stop.19:15
  411. It's fine.It's fine.19:16
  412. Are you sure?Are you sure?19:17
  413. Cause I'd be happy to look into getting you a new tennis coach.Cause I'd be happy to look into getting you a new tennis coach.19:18
  414. There is nothing wrong with my tennis coach.There is nothing wrong with my tennis coach.19:21
  415. I just got lucky.I just got lucky.19:24
  416. You're right.You're right.19:26
  417. Three sets in a row.Three sets in a row.19:28
  418. Okay.Okay.19:30
  419. I think we're done for today.I think we're done for today.19:31
  420. Thank you very much.Thank you very much.19:33
  421. Oh, okay.Oh, okay.19:35
  422. So, as of now, I'm off the clock?So, as of now, I'm off the clock?19:36
  423. You are off the clock.You are off the clock.19:39
  424. So, I can speak to you as a friend?So, I can speak to you as a friend?19:41
  425. Of course.Of course.19:44
  426. Who's the famous guy you're sleeping with?Who's the famous guy you're sleeping with?19:45
  427. I can't tell you that.I can't tell you that.19:49
  428. Why?Why?19:50
  429. It's complicated.It's complicated.19:53
  430. What do you mean, complicated?What do you mean, complicated?19:54
  431. It's complicated.It's complicated.19:55
  432. Oh, he's married.Oh, he's married.19:58
  433. Oh, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill.Oh, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill.20:01
  434. See, this is why.See, this is why.20:03
  435. Hey, I am not judging you.Hey, I am not judging you.20:05
  436. I've made the same mistake, not with a famous person.I've made the same mistake, not with a famous person.20:07
  437. My guy was a loser.My guy was a loser.20:10
  438. The point is, it never ends well.The point is, it never ends well.20:12
  439. Thank you for your concern.Thank you for your concern.20:15
  440. Are we done now?Are we done now?20:17
  441. No.No.20:19
  442. You're a smart, beautiful woman.You're a smart, beautiful woman.20:20
  443. You don't have to settle.You don't have to settle.20:21
  444. I'm not settling.I'm not settling.20:23
  445. We're very happy with the way things are.We're very happy with the way things are.20:25
  446. Oh, really?Oh, really?20:27
  447. Does your big celebrity have any kids?Does your big celebrity have any kids?20:28
  448. Two.Two.20:32
  449. But they're very unpleasant, so your heart doesn't go out to them.But they're very unpleasant, so your heart doesn't go out to them.20:33
  450. Do you really want to be the kind of person who breaks up a family?Do you really want to be the kind of person who breaks up a family?20:39
  451. I love him, and he loves me.I love him, and he loves me.20:43
  452. How do you know?How do you know?20:45
  453. Because he told me.Because he told me.20:46
  454. Look, he's just waiting for his daughter to go off to college, and then he's asking for a divorce.Look, he's just waiting for his daughter to go off to college, and then he's asking for a divorce.20:48
  455. How old is his daughter?How old is his daughter?20:54
  456. Six.Six.20:56
  457. Look, I know what you're thinking, but I'm willing to wait.Look, I know what you're thinking, but I'm willing to wait.21:00
  458. He's worth it.He's worth it.21:05
  459. Oh, come on.Oh, come on.21:07
  460. If he really loves you, make him prove it.If he really loves you, make him prove it.21:07
  461. Tell him to choose.Tell him to choose.21:10
  462. I can't do that.I can't do that.21:12
  463. Why not?Why not?21:14
  464. I don't know.I don't know.21:17
  465. I guess...I guess...21:20
  466. because I'm scared that if I push too hard, I'm going to get an answer I don't want to hear.because I'm scared that if I push too hard, I'm going to get an answer I don't want to hear.21:21
  467. Okay, well, it's your life.Okay, well, it's your life.21:26
  468. I just think you deserve better.I just think you deserve better.21:29
  469. Thank you.Thank you.21:32
  470. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower.Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower.21:33
  471. Jill, wait, one more thing.Jill, wait, one more thing.21:36
  472. What?What?21:38
  473. Please tell me who it is.Please tell me who it is.21:40
  474. I'll let you be me in tennis!I'll let you be me in tennis!21:42
  475. It's been a week, and I've had, I don't know, maybe three glasses?It's been a week, and I've had, I don't know, maybe three glasses?21:45
  476. By glasses, you mean bottles.By glasses, you mean bottles.21:50
  477. By bottles, you mean cases.By bottles, you mean cases.21:52
  478. No, I mean glasses.No, I mean glasses.21:55
  479. I hope you're okay with it.I hope you're okay with it.21:58
  480. You girls are my family.You girls are my family.22:00
  481. I don't want this to change anything.I don't want this to change anything.22:02
  482. It won't.It won't.22:05
  483. This is a self -diagnosed disease.This is a self -diagnosed disease.22:06
  484. If you don't think you have a problem, who are we to say you do?If you don't think you have a problem, who are we to say you do?22:08
  485. I'm going to say it.I'm going to say it.22:15
  486. I was with her at her first meeting.I was with her at her first meeting.22:17
  487. She had $10 ,000 worth of drugs and a full mini bar in her purse.She had $10 ,000 worth of drugs and a full mini bar in her purse.22:19
  488. But no wine.But no wine.22:23
  489. Donnie, not our call.Donnie, not our call.22:26
  490. So, we're cool?So, we're cool?22:30
  491. Once in a while, I have a glass of wine in front of you.Once in a while, I have a glass of wine in front of you.22:33
  492. You're all okay?You're all okay?22:37
  493. Well, I think.Well, I think.22:40
  494. Marjorie, what do I think?Marjorie, what do I think?22:43
  495. Regina, we love you, and there's no judgment here.Regina, we love you, and there's no judgment here.22:45
  496. Matter of fact, waiter, would you bring our friend a glass of...Matter of fact, waiter, would you bring our friend a glass of...22:49
  497. Cabernet.Cabernet.22:53
  498. Cabernet.Cabernet.22:54
  499. Is this a trick?Is this a trick?22:56
  500. Probably.Probably.22:58
  501. She's like a Jedi.She's like a Jedi.22:59
  502. Is anyone else hearing saxophone music?Is anyone else hearing saxophone music?23:05
  503. Enjoy.Enjoy.23:10
  504. Thank you.Thank you.23:11
  505. You sure this is okay?You sure this is okay?23:13
  506. Yes.Yes.23:15
  507. So, y 'all have plans for Cri...So, y 'all have plans for Cri...23:16
  508. Just a ghost.Just a ghost.23:27
  509. So, Christy, I have to ask, what inspired you to go back to school to become a lawyer?So, Christy, I have to ask, what inspired you to go back to school to become a lawyer?23:29
  510. Well, actually, it was something I've wanted to do since I was a kid.Well, actually, it was something I've wanted to do since I was a kid.23:35
  511. I thought this one would get hauled off by the police a bunch of times, and...I thought this one would get hauled off by the police a bunch of times, and...23:38
  512. I wanted to help her.I wanted to help her.23:43
  513. You couldn't just say you were at a book about Lincoln?You couldn't just say you were at a book about Lincoln?23:47
  514. You know, that's interesting.You know, that's interesting.23:51
  515. I got into psychology to help my mother.I got into psychology to help my mother.23:52
  516. As you can see, it didn't work.As you can see, it didn't work.23:56
  517. Cue.Cue.24:01
  518. I thought it was to understand your obsession with boobies.I thought it was to understand your obsession with boobies.24:04
  519. I had to breastfeed him till he was four.I had to breastfeed him till he was four.24:09
  520. Yeah, you want to zets with the big boys.Yeah, you want to zets with the big boys.24:12
  521. That's what happens.That's what happens.24:15
  522. So, are we going to talk about the age difference with these two, or what?So, are we going to talk about the age difference with these two, or what?24:19
  523. Please, let's go back to boobies.Please, let's go back to boobies.24:22
  524. Christy, tell me that you're not concerned.Christy, tell me that you're not concerned.24:26
  525. Well, I was at first, but they both seem happy together, and...Well, I was at first, but they both seem happy together, and...24:30
  526. Isn't that what's important?Isn't that what's important?24:35
  527. Thank you, Mary Poppins.Thank you, Mary Poppins.24:37
  528. How about you?How about you?24:43
  529. Well, Phil?Well, Phil?24:45
  530. Who am I to judge?Who am I to judge?24:49
  531. I'm a middle -aged woman.I'm a middle -aged woman.24:50
  532. What does that got to do with anything?What does that got to do with anything?24:52
  533. I just wanted you to know I'm a lot younger than you are.I just wanted you to know I'm a lot younger than you are.24:54
  534. Why don't I get that?Why don't I get that?24:59
  535. Now that's a zets.Now that's a zets.25:01
  536. What are you doing here?What are you doing here?25:07
  537. You wouldn't answer your phone?You wouldn't answer your phone?25:08
  538. You don't return my text?You don't return my text?25:09
  539. I don't know what's going on.I don't know what's going on.25:10
  540. What's going on is we've got company.What's going on is we've got company.25:11
  541. I'll talk to you tomorrow.I'll talk to you tomorrow.25:12
  542. No!No!25:13
  543. No?No?25:14
  544. I demand to be heard.I demand to be heard.25:15
  545. I am not your secret sex toy.I am not your secret sex toy.25:16
  546. Do something.Do something.25:21
  547. Mom, you mind taking your dumbass life outside?Mom, you mind taking your dumbass life outside?25:23
  548. Sure.Sure.25:26
  549. Move.Move.25:27
  550. Can you imagine what they were like when they drank?Can you imagine what they were like when they drank?25:28
  551. I'm tired of letting you call all the shots.I'm tired of letting you call all the shots.25:32
  552. Are we in a real relationship or not?Are we in a real relationship or not?25:34
  553. Wow.Wow.25:36
  554. I've never seen this forceful side of you before.I've never seen this forceful side of you before.25:36
  555. Well, sometimes a man's got...Well, sometimes a man's got...25:39
  556. I don't like it.I don't like it.25:40
  557. Is Christy here?Is Christy here?25:44
  558. I need to talk to Christy.I need to talk to Christy.25:45
  559. She's inside.She's inside.25:45
  560. What's going on?What's going on?25:46
  561. My ex -husband is having a baby with a skinky anesthesiologist, which is crazy, because he never wanted to have a baby with me.My ex -husband is having a baby with a skinky anesthesiologist, which is crazy, because he never wanted to have a baby with me.25:47
  562. I mean, why wouldn't anybody want to have a baby with me?I mean, why wouldn't anybody want to have a baby with me?25:53
  563. Christy!Christy!25:56
  564. So you can't even take a Xanax?So you can't even take a Xanax?25:59
  565. No, we face our difficulties with dignity and grace.No, we face our difficulties with dignity and grace.26:03
  566. Christy, I need you.Christy, I need you.26:08
  567. My husband knocked up his whore.My husband knocked up his whore.26:11
  568. Everybody, this is Jill.Everybody, this is Jill.26:22
  569. Jill, this is...Jill, this is...26:24
  570. Don't care.Don't care.26:25
  571. Why don't you answer your phone?Why don't you answer your phone?26:26
  572. Let's talk in the kitchen.Let's talk in the kitchen.26:28
  573. Mom, can't you do this later?Mom, can't you do this later?26:29
  574. Just need five minutes.Just need five minutes.26:30
  575. I would have been a wonderful mother!I would have been a wonderful mother!26:32
  576. Maybe six minutes.Maybe six minutes.26:37
  577. Maybe we should go.Maybe we should go.26:39
  578. Are you kidding?Are you kidding?26:41
  579. This is like dinner in a show.This is like dinner in a show.26:42
  580. You'll regret this, Bonnie Plunkett.You'll regret this, Bonnie Plunkett.26:44
  581. You're gonna miss my lovin'.You're gonna miss my lovin'.26:46
  582. Act two.Act two.26:48
  583. Where is this guy?Where is this guy?26:52
  584. Don't worry, he'll be here.Don't worry, he'll be here.26:53
  585. What are you doing?What are you doing?26:56
  586. Posting my picture on Instagram.Posting my picture on Instagram.26:58
  587. Are you crazy?Are you crazy?26:59
  588. What?What?27:00
  589. My followers like to know what I'm up to.My followers like to know what I'm up to.27:02
  590. You've been posting pictures the whole trip?You've been posting pictures the whole trip?27:04
  591. No.No.27:07
  592. I swear to God, if I go to jail, it's gonna be for murder.I swear to God, if I go to jail, it's gonna be for murder.27:09
  593. They're here!They're here!27:15
  594. They're here!They're here!27:16
  595. Calm down, Wendy.Calm down, Wendy.27:18
  596. It's not an ice cream truck.It's not an ice cream truck.27:20
  597. You got the money?You got the money?27:22
  598. Right here.Right here.27:23
  599. Let's do it.Let's do it.27:24
  600. No, no, no, no.No, no, no, no.27:26
  601. We got this.We got this.27:27
  602. You guys stay here.You guys stay here.27:28
  603. Okay, we got your back.Okay, we got your back.27:29
  604. Better sign of trouble getting the car.Better sign of trouble getting the car.27:30
  605. We're out of here.We're out of here.27:32
  606. Are you Shoshana?Are you Shoshana?27:34
  607. That's me.That's me.27:36
  608. Shoshana.Shoshana.27:37
  609. Nice.Nice.27:37
  610. You have the stuff?You have the stuff?27:39
  611. You have the money?You have the money?27:40
  612. Slow down.Slow down.27:41
  613. I'm gonna need to taste what we're buying.I'm gonna need to taste what we're buying.27:42
  614. Okay.Okay.27:55
  615. Oh, yeah, that's right out of the tree.Oh, yeah, that's right out of the tree.27:55
  616. Can I have some?Can I have some?27:58
  617. She's like, bring your kid to work day.She's like, bring your kid to work day.28:00
  618. Um...Um...28:04
  619. What are you doing?What are you doing?28:05
  620. Sorry, hold habit.Sorry, hold habit.28:06
  621. Okay, 100 gallons.Okay, 100 gallons.28:09
  622. We've got a deal.We've got a deal.28:11
  623. Where does a guy here size by pants?Where does a guy here size by pants?28:17
  624. I'm thinking you're too big and tall for big and tall.I'm thinking you're too big and tall for big and tall.28:20
  625. Can you hear me up there?Can you hear me up there?28:25
  626. Uh, Shosh, I think we have a problem.Uh, Shosh, I think we have a problem.28:32
  627. Whoa!Whoa!28:38
  628. How much does that thing weigh?How much does that thing weigh?28:39
  629. Three, 400 pounds.Three, 400 pounds.28:41
  630. Uh, I'm assuming you'll help us put it in the car, right?Uh, I'm assuming you'll help us put it in the car, right?28:43
  631. Nope.Nope.28:47
  632. But I'll piss you off about the big and tall thing, because I'm big and tall too.But I'll piss you off about the big and tall thing, because I'm big and tall too.28:48
  633. I got this.I got this.28:53
  634. Any chance you have a few thousand more of those tiny squeeze bears?Any chance you have a few thousand more of those tiny squeeze bears?28:55
  635. Thanks for the help, fellas!Thanks for the help, fellas!29:02
  636. Canadian dicks.Canadian dicks.29:05
  637. Mexican criminals are so much more courteous.Mexican criminals are so much more courteous.29:09
  638. Until they make you dig your own grave.Until they make you dig your own grave.29:11
  639. How are we gonna get this in the car?How are we gonna get this in the car?29:15
  640. Good for you, you spotted the problem.Good for you, you spotted the problem.29:17
  641. Well, I guess the first thing we do is walk it over there.Well, I guess the first thing we do is walk it over there.29:21
  642. Yeah, I guess.Yeah, I guess.29:24
  643. Okay, on the count of three.Okay, on the count of three.29:26
  644. One, two...One, two...29:29
  645. Three!Three!29:30
  646. Other way, other way!Other way, other way!29:33
  647. Which other way?Which other way?29:35
  648. Toward the car, genius!Toward the car, genius!29:36
  649. Ooh, somebody has no blood sugar!Ooh, somebody has no blood sugar!29:38
  650. Rock it up and spin, spin, spin!Rock it up and spin, spin, spin!29:43
  651. Rock it up and spin, spin, spin!Rock it up and spin, spin, spin!29:47
  652. This is fun!This is fun!29:51
  653. You've never had actual fun, have you?You've never had actual fun, have you?29:53
  654. Spin, spin, spin!Spin, spin, spin!29:59
  655. Girl power!Girl power!30:03
  656. Stupid men would've probably just backed the car up to the barrel.Stupid men would've probably just backed the car up to the barrel.30:07
  657. What?What?30:17
  658. Okay, on the count of three.Okay, on the count of three.30:21
  659. One, two...One, two...30:23
  660. Three!Three!30:25
  661. A little higher, a little higher!A little higher, a little higher!30:27
  662. You know what, gonna make it!You know what, gonna make it!30:29
  663. We don't have a choice!We don't have a choice!30:30
  664. Lift!Lift!30:31
  665. Suck it back up!Suck it back up!30:32
  666. I have to pee again!I have to pee again!30:33
  667. Nobody pees until it barrels in the car!Nobody pees until it barrels in the car!30:34
  668. Pimp me up in the den, he's across the street!Pimp me up in the den, he's across the street!30:42
  669. There's something you don't see every day.There's something you don't see every day.30:58
  670. Okay?Okay?30:59
  671. I'm rubbing a pomegranate on my mole.I'm rubbing a pomegranate on my mole.31:02
  672. You're feeding it now.You're feeding it now.31:05
  673. I did a little research on the internet and learned that if you apply pomegranate juice, garlic paste, walnut oil, and then cover the mole with a kale leaf, it'llI did a little research on the internet and learned that if you apply pomegranate juice, garlic paste, walnut oil, and then cover the mole with a kale leaf, it'll31:08
  674. be gone in a few hours.be gone in a few hours.31:15
  675. Good call!Good call!31:18
  676. Go Harry Potter on your ass.Go Harry Potter on your ass.31:19
  677. It'll work.It'll work.31:23
  678. Mom, it's natural to be scared to go see a doctor, anyone would be.Mom, it's natural to be scared to go see a doctor, anyone would be.31:24
  679. Except me, I have science on my side.Except me, I have science on my side.31:28
  680. Now come on, take this kale leaf to my butt, shiny side down, or this is just a complete waste of time.Now come on, take this kale leaf to my butt, shiny side down, or this is just a complete waste of time.31:31
  681. Just like this conversation.Just like this conversation.31:38
  682. Hey, on the off chance that wicking pedia doesn't do the trick, will you please see a doctor?Hey, on the off chance that wicking pedia doesn't do the trick, will you please see a doctor?31:41
  683. For the last time, I don't need a doctor.For the last time, I don't need a doctor.31:49
  684. Now come on, help me summon the serpent.Now come on, help me summon the serpent.31:52
  685. That's it, I'm making an appointment.That's it, I'm making an appointment.31:56
  686. No, why?No, why?31:58
  687. Because, I've been a terrible person my whole life, and this is how the universe is going to get even with me.Because, I've been a terrible person my whole life, and this is how the universe is going to get even with me.31:59
  688. So you are scared?So you are scared?32:08
  689. Of course I am, if you've seen this thing, it's big enough to claim as a dependent.Of course I am, if you've seen this thing, it's big enough to claim as a dependent.32:09
  690. Then let's take care of it and put the whole thing behind us.Then let's take care of it and put the whole thing behind us.32:13
  691. Sorry.Sorry.32:17
  692. You can't do that, that's not how the universe works.You can't do that, that's not how the universe works.32:19
  693. Wait a minute, you know how the universe works and you've been holding out on me?Wait a minute, you know how the universe works and you've been holding out on me?32:22
  694. The universe waits and then as soon as you get your life together, boom, something awful happens.The universe waits and then as soon as you get your life together, boom, something awful happens.32:28
  695. Oh, you poor thing, you think you have your life together?Oh, you poor thing, you think you have your life together?32:33
  696. Tell you what, I'll make you a deal.Tell you what, I'll make you a deal.32:38
  697. We'll give your witches salad dressing 24 hours to work.We'll give your witches salad dressing 24 hours to work.32:41
  698. If it doesn't, we see a doctor.If it doesn't, we see a doctor.32:45
  699. Fine.Fine.32:48
  700. Thank you, now you're starting to make sense.Thank you, now you're starting to make sense.32:50
  701. Great, now my ass smells like the Olive Garden.Great, now my ass smells like the Olive Garden.32:56
  702. Hey!Hey!33:01
  703. Hey, Bonnie, come on in.Hey, Bonnie, come on in.33:03
  704. Wow, look at you.Wow, look at you.33:13
  705. Well, laundry today.Well, laundry today.33:16
  706. So what really happened to you?So what really happened to you?33:21
  707. What brings you by?What brings you by?33:22
  708. I was just looking for my daughter, I thought I'd surprise her and take her to lunch.I was just looking for my daughter, I thought I'd surprise her and take her to lunch.33:23
  709. I think she's working at the restaurant today.I think she's working at the restaurant today.33:31
  710. Oh, fudge.Oh, fudge.33:34
  711. Probably should have called her first.Probably should have called her first.33:37
  712. Well, if you'd called then you couldn't surprise her.Well, if you'd called then you couldn't surprise her.33:39
  713. Oh, look at you, thinking like a lawyer.Oh, look at you, thinking like a lawyer.33:42
  714. I didn't graduate 281st in my class for nothing.I didn't graduate 281st in my class for nothing.33:47
  715. So, what you doing?So, what you doing?33:54
  716. Working on a big case?Tu travailles sur une grosse affaire ?33:56
  717. I wish, I'm just a small town lawyer.J'aimerais bien, je ne suis qu'un avocat de province.33:58
  718. Don't sell yourself short.Ne te sous-estime pas.34:01
  719. You read all these books?Tu as lu tous ces livres ?34:03
  720. Not really, they came with the office.Pas vraiment, ils étaient déjà dans le bureau.34:07
  721. Okay, well, I guess I'll just take myself to lunch.Okay, well, I guess I'll just take myself to lunch.34:16
  722. Hang on, let me take you to lunch.Hang on, let me take you to lunch.34:22
  723. Really, you're not too terribly busy?Really, you're not too terribly busy?34:26
  724. No, I'm just trying to get bail for some guy in county lockup, he can wait.No, I'm just trying to get bail for some guy in county lockup, he can wait.34:28
  725. So, what do you feel like, eating salad or something?So, what do you feel like, eating salad or something?34:34
  726. I'm actually more of a meat eater, Steve.I'm actually more of a meat eater, Steve.34:37
  727. Thanks, this is perfect.Thanks, this is perfect.34:43
  728. Do people always stare at you?Do people always stare at you?34:46
  729. What are you talking about, they're staring at you?What are you talking about, they're staring at you?34:50
  730. Stop.Stop.34:53
  731. I'm serious, you're a giant, they think you might eat them.I'm serious, you're a giant, they think you might eat them.34:54
  732. I'm gonna have a beer, does it bother you if I drink?I'm gonna have a beer, does it bother you if I drink?35:00
  733. Does it bother you if I walk?Does it bother you if I walk?35:02
  734. Not if you're in front of me, I like the view from back there.Not if you're in front of me, I like the view from back there.35:05
  735. Good answer.Good answer.35:09
  736. So, listen, you don't seem like the shy, nervous type.So, listen, you don't seem like the shy, nervous type.35:13
  737. Why'd you really bail on me last time?Why'd you really bail on me last time?35:16
  738. Yeah, I guess I gotta clear that up.Yeah, I guess I gotta clear that up.35:20
  739. Okay, here's the thing.Okay, here's the thing.35:24
  740. Usually when I meet a woman, she sees the chair right away, and I could tell from the look in her eye whether she's okay with it or not.Usually when I meet a woman, she sees the chair right away, and I could tell from the look in her eye whether she's okay with it or not.35:27
  741. But we met on the phone.But we met on the phone.35:35
  742. Which is why I couldn't bear the idea of you seeing me and giving me that look.Which is why I couldn't bear the idea of you seeing me and giving me that look.35:36
  743. Like the woman behind you is giving me right now.Like the woman behind you is giving me right now.35:46
  744. Don't turn around.Don't turn around.35:49
  745. Hey, am I staring at the ball that you're with?Hey, am I staring at the ball that you're with?35:51
  746. Is this too soon to say I love you?Is this too soon to say I love you?36:01
  747. So anyway, after working as a Hollywood stuntman for 20 -some years, I felt kind of invincible.So anyway, after working as a Hollywood stuntman for 20 -some years, I felt kind of invincible.36:06
  748. You know, the occasional broken nose, dislocated shoulder, but nothing a couple of aspirin and a six -pack couldn't fix.You know, the occasional broken nose, dislocated shoulder, but nothing a couple of aspirin and a six -pack couldn't fix.36:13
  749. So is that how you...So is that how you...36:19
  750. You'd think so, but no.You'd think so, but no.36:20
  751. After putting my life on the line, driving motorcycles through fire, crashing cars into walls, working with Bert Reynolds, I get the brilliant idea to try snowboarding.After putting my life on the line, driving motorcycles through fire, crashing cars into walls, working with Bert Reynolds, I get the brilliant idea to try snowboarding.36:22
  752. Oh, no.Oh, no.36:35
  753. I'm thinking, I know how to ski, I know how to surf.I'm thinking, I know how to ski, I know how to surf.36:36
  754. It's the same thing, right?It's the same thing, right?36:39
  755. So I get up on the mountain, I got this stupid piece of wood strapped to my feet.So I get up on the mountain, I got this stupid piece of wood strapped to my feet.36:40
  756. I am flying down the hill.I am flying down the hill.36:43
  757. I'm doing good.I'm doing good.36:46
  758. I see a sign.I see a sign.36:47
  759. It's this danger, baranka ahead.It's this danger, baranka ahead.36:48
  760. What's a baranka?What's a baranka?36:50
  761. That's what I'm thinking.That's what I'm thinking.36:51
  762. I'm looking around.I'm looking around.36:52
  763. Is it a bear?Is it a bear?36:52
  764. Is it a tree?Is it a tree?36:53
  765. Turns out it's a cliff.Turns out it's a cliff.36:54
  766. And you?And you?36:58
  767. Right off the edge, 200 feet straight down.Right off the edge, 200 feet straight down.36:59
  768. I felt like Wiley Coyote, but substantially dumber.I felt like Wiley Coyote, but substantially dumber.37:06
  769. Oh, God.Oh, God.37:11
  770. You might have heard the real embarrassing part.You might have heard the real embarrassing part.37:14
  771. Always.Always.37:17
  772. On the way down, I tried flapping my arms.On the way down, I tried flapping my arms.37:20
  773. I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh.I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh.37:27
  774. Why?Why?37:29
  775. It's funny.It's funny.37:30
  776. It was just...It was just...37:31
  777. Oh, God, it really is.Oh, God, it really is.37:31
  778. Oh, God, it really is.Oh, God, it really is.37:33
  779. Five minutes and then we're out of here.Five minutes and then we're out of here.37:39
  780. I'm really proud of you.I'm really proud of you.37:41
  781. Hey, if I were dying, I know you'd want to see me.Hey, if I were dying, I know you'd want to see me.37:42
  782. I wouldn't miss it for the world.I wouldn't miss it for the world.37:45
  783. Hello, Kristie.Hello, Kristie.37:49
  784. Hi.Hi.37:51
  785. Well, well, well.Well, well, well.37:53
  786. Finally decided to crawl out from under your rock, huh?Finally decided to crawl out from under your rock, huh?37:58
  787. Mom, mom.Mom, mom.38:01
  788. No, you brought me here.No, you brought me here.38:01
  789. I'm doing this.I'm doing this.38:02
  790. You're a real piece of work wanting my forgiveness.You're a real piece of work wanting my forgiveness.38:05
  791. Mom, please.Mom, please.38:08
  792. I don't know what you're dying of, but I hope it's slow and painful.I don't know what you're dying of, but I hope it's slow and painful.38:08
  793. She's not your mother.She's not your mother.38:14
  794. You have a super day.You have a super day.38:17
  795. Kristie.Kristie.38:23
  796. Oh, good.Oh, good.38:24
  797. This is your mother.This is your mother.38:27
  798. Hello, Bonnie.Hello, Bonnie.38:29
  799. Probably be more comfortable if we sat down.Probably be more comfortable if we sat down.38:37
  800. I'll go first.I'll go first.38:43
  801. Okay.Okay.38:52
  802. Hey.Hey.38:53
  803. Well, I was wrong about it being more comfortable.Well, I was wrong about it being more comfortable.39:01
  804. Thank you so much for being willing to see me.Thank you so much for being willing to see me.39:06
  805. I'm only here because you're about to die.I'm only here because you're about to die.39:09
  806. What do you got, anyway?What do you got, anyway?39:12
  807. It's my heart.It's my heart.39:14
  808. Something hereditary we need to worry about?Something hereditary we need to worry about?39:16
  809. No, it's just years of hard living finally caught up with me.No, it's just years of hard living finally caught up with me.39:18
  810. Maybe we should worry a little.Maybe we should worry a little.39:25
  811. Honey, I knew what I was going to say to you when I saw you, but no, I don't know where to start.Honey, I knew what I was going to say to you when I saw you, but no, I don't know where to start.39:31
  812. Just tell her what you told me.Just tell her what you told me.39:41
  813. Bonnie giving you up was the hardest thing and the worst mistake I ever made in my whole life.Bonnie giving you up was the hardest thing and the worst mistake I ever made in my whole life.39:46
  814. But I want you to know that I thought of you every single day.But I want you to know that I thought of you every single day.39:53
  815. Yeah, terrific.Yeah, terrific.39:57
  816. Why didn't you come back?Why didn't you come back?39:58
  817. You said you were going to come back.You said you were going to come back.39:59
  818. Well, I wanted to.Well, I wanted to.40:00
  819. I tried.I tried.40:01
  820. You let me bouncing around foster homes.You let me bouncing around foster homes.40:02
  821. I was trying to make money trying to get on my feet.I was trying to make money trying to get on my feet.40:04
  822. Yeah, so?Yeah, so?40:07
  823. It got complicated.It got complicated.40:08
  824. What the hell does that mean?What the hell does that mean?40:10
  825. Oh, God.Oh, God.40:11
  826. I was a cocktail waitress in Tahoe, and I met this guy, and I moved in with him.I was a cocktail waitress in Tahoe, and I met this guy, and I moved in with him.40:14
  827. And?And?40:23
  828. And?And?40:25
  829. Tell me.Tell me.40:27
  830. He said he didn't want any kids around.He said he didn't want any kids around.40:30
  831. I'm sorry.I'm sorry.40:36
  832. I didn't know this part.I didn't know this part.40:38
  833. So you picked your happiness over mine?So you picked your happiness over mine?40:40
  834. I was young.I was young.40:43
  835. I was scared.I was scared.40:44
  836. What can I say?What can I say?40:45
  837. I screwed up.I screwed up.40:47
  838. No, I screwed up with her.No, I screwed up with her.40:48
  839. What you did to me is unforgivable.What you did to me is unforgivable.40:50
  840. I know.I know.40:53
  841. On the bright side, she's dying.On the bright side, she's dying.41:01
  842. And since I got our labor costs down, and the average check per guest is up, and the bar tabs are up.And since I got our labor costs down, and the average check per guest is up, and the bar tabs are up.41:06
  843. Are you crying?Are you crying?41:20
  844. No, no, I just have water in my eyes.No, no, I just have water in my eyes.41:22
  845. That's crying.That's crying.41:26
  846. Anyway, I think I deserve a raise.Anyway, I think I deserve a raise.41:28
  847. What?What?41:37
  848. I deserve a raise.I deserve a raise.41:39
  849. I'm sorry.I'm sorry.41:41
  850. What?What?41:42
  851. I deserve a raise.I deserve a raise.41:43
  852. Thank you for listening.Thank you for listening.41:46
  853. I'm sorry.I'm sorry.41:47
  854. You know what?You know what?41:50
  855. You do.You do.41:52
  856. I do?I do?41:53
  857. Yeah.Yeah.41:54
  858. You even do your great job around here.You even do your great job around here.41:54
  859. I have.I have.41:56
  860. And that's why it is so heartbreaking for me to tell you that I have to let you go.And that's why it is so heartbreaking for me to tell you that I have to let you go.41:57
  861. What?What?42:02
  862. You're firing me?You're firing me?42:04
  863. Sorry, my brother needs a job.Sorry, my brother needs a job.42:06
  864. But if it makes you feel any better, you won't be nearly as good as you.But if it makes you feel any better, you won't be nearly as good as you.42:08
  865. No, it doesn't make me feel better.No, it doesn't make me feel better.42:12
  866. This is my job.This is my job.42:15
  867. I earned it.I earned it.42:16
  868. Please don't make a scene.Please don't make a scene.42:17
  869. This is hard enough for me.This is hard enough for me.42:18
  870. Hard for you?Hard for you?42:20
  871. You're ruining my life.You're ruining my life.42:22
  872. And here comes the scene.And here comes the scene.42:23
  873. You can't do this.You can't do this.42:25
  874. This isn't fair.This isn't fair.42:26
  875. Fair?Fair?42:27
  876. Oh, that's adorable.Oh, that's adorable.42:28
  877. I'll tell you what.I'll tell you what.42:30
  878. If you'd like, you can go back to waiting tables.If you'd like, you can go back to waiting tables.42:31
  879. No way.No way.42:34
  880. I just spent the last six months treating everybody around here like crap.I just spent the last six months treating everybody around here like crap.42:35
  881. I can't go back to being one of them.I can't go back to being one of them.42:38
  882. I'll get shanks in the freezer.I'll get shanks in the freezer.42:40
  883. Well, that's your choice.Well, that's your choice.42:43
  884. No, no.No, no.42:45
  885. Here's my choice.Here's my choice.42:47
  886. Screw this job and screw you.Screw this job and screw you.42:49
  887. Here, you can take your key.Here, you can take your key.42:52
  888. As far as I'm concerned, you can shove it up your...As far as I'm concerned, you can shove it up your...42:53
  889. Well, I can't get it off this ring thing, but I will mail you this key.Well, I can't get it off this ring thing, but I will mail you this key.42:55
  890. When can I see you again?When can I see you again?43:02
  891. Well, that's a little tricky.Well, that's a little tricky.43:05
  892. You get how this situation is complicated.You get how this situation is complicated.43:08
  893. I do.I do.43:12
  894. How about tomorrow?How about tomorrow?43:15
  895. Great!Great!43:18
  896. I'll bring a slower car.I'll bring a slower car.43:20
  897. No.No.43:24
  898. Good night.Good night.43:25
  899. Hey.Hey.43:35
  900. Hey.Hey.43:38
  901. So, aren't you curious?So, aren't you curious?43:41
  902. It's 10 o 'clock.It's 10 o 'clock.43:43
  903. All my questions are answered.All my questions are answered.43:44
  904. Okay.Okay.43:48
  905. So, I guess I won't tell you.So, I guess I won't tell you.43:49
  906. I really like him and I'm seeing him again tomorrow night.I really like him and I'm seeing him again tomorrow night.43:52
  907. Don't you be messing with me!Don't you be messing with me!43:58
  908. I'm not.I'm not.44:00
  909. We had a great time.We had a great time.44:01
  910. We did?We did?44:02
  911. We did.We did.44:03
  912. Didn't we make out?Didn't we make out?44:04
  913. I wet my lips, but he was a perfect gentleman.I wet my lips, but he was a perfect gentleman.44:05
  914. Oh, baby, I'm so happy for us!Oh, baby, I'm so happy for us!44:07
  915. Maybe the perfect gentleman came back to bend you over the couch.Maybe the perfect gentleman came back to bend you over the couch.44:11
  916. Why are you ruining my life?Why are you ruining my life?44:18
  917. What are you talking about?What are you talking about?44:21
  918. If you're doing this to make Candace crazy, congratulations.If you're doing this to make Candace crazy, congratulations.44:23
  919. She's crying, drinking and screaming.She's crying, drinking and screaming.44:26
  920. It's like I'm married to you again!It's like I'm married to you again!44:28
  921. Really?Really?44:30
  922. Come on in and tell me all about it.Come on in and tell me all about it.44:32
  923. I've never seen her like this.I've never seen her like this.44:34
  924. You have hit the button of all buttons.You have hit the button of all buttons.44:36
  925. The button that launches all the missiles!The button that launches all the missiles!44:37
  926. I'm sorry.I'm sorry.44:41
  927. That wasn't my intention.That wasn't my intention.44:42
  928. I mean, it was, but not now.I mean, it was, but not now.44:43
  929. I really like Fred and I intend to keep seeing him.I really like Fred and I intend to keep seeing him.44:47
  930. All right.All right.44:53
  931. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but you leave me no choice.I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but you leave me no choice.44:55
  932. What are you doing?What are you doing?44:58
  933. I have a personal checking account with $8 ,427 in it.I have a personal checking account with $8 ,427 in it.44:59
  934. If you agree to stop seeing Fred, it's all yours.If you agree to stop seeing Fred, it's all yours.45:04
  935. Minus the $25 I need to keep the account.Minus the $25 I need to keep the account.45:07
  936. You think you can buy me?You think you can buy me?45:11
  937. That cheaply.That cheaply.45:13
  938. Fine.Fine.45:16
  939. Take the $25.Take the $25.45:17
  940. I'll close the account.I'll close the account.45:18
  941. That's enough, Baxter.That's enough, Baxter.45:20
  942. You need to go.You need to go.45:21
  943. You don't understand.You don't understand.45:22
  944. Good night, Baxter.Good night, Baxter.45:23
  945. I wouldn't do this to you.I wouldn't do this to you.45:24
  946. The missus said good night.The missus said good night.45:25
  947. You believe that guy?You believe that guy?45:29
  948. Yeah, as if we care about money.Yeah, as if we care about money.45:30
  949. What an incredible feel.What an incredible feel.45:34
  950. I agree.I agree.45:37
  951. Okay, I gotta tell you, that works.Okay, I gotta tell you, that works.45:40
  952. It shouldn't.It shouldn't.45:42
  953. It's really corny, but it totally works.It's really corny, but it totally works.45:43
  954. How about this?How about this?45:47
  955. That works, too.That works, too.45:56
  956. Um, can you excuse me for a minute?Um, can you excuse me for a minute?45:59
  957. I need to go freshen up.I need to go freshen up.46:02
  958. Right down the hall.Right down the hall.46:04
  959. I'll be right back.I'll be right back.46:06
  960. Hey, Fred.Hey, Fred.46:11
  961. Yeah?Yeah?46:13
  962. I'm really not going to the bathroom.I'm really not going to the bathroom.46:14
  963. I'm gonna call my sponsor, NAA, and ask her if I should sleep with you.I'm gonna call my sponsor, NAA, and ask her if I should sleep with you.46:17
  964. I'd be happy to supply a list of references.I'd be happy to supply a list of references.46:21
  965. That's okay.That's okay.46:25
  966. I think it's crossed.I think it's crossed.46:25
  967. Marjorie?Marjorie?46:42
  968. It's me, Christy.It's me, Christy.46:43
  969. Oh, hey, Christy.Oh, hey, Christy.46:45
  970. What's going on?What's going on?46:46
  971. I need some advice.I need some advice.46:48
  972. Please do not tell my mother I called you.Please do not tell my mother I called you.46:51
  973. I will not.I will not.46:53
  974. What's up?What's up?46:58
  975. I'm on a date with Fred, and I think this is the night where we, you know...I'm on a date with Fred, and I think this is the night where we, you know...46:59
  976. I get it.I get it.47:04
  977. You're calling me from the bathroom.You're calling me from the bathroom.47:04
  978. Tell her to close the deal.Tell her to close the deal.47:07
  979. I'm just not sure if I'm doing it for the right reason.I'm just not sure if I'm doing it for the right reason.47:09
  980. I mean, part of me wants to punish Candace, but another part of me really likes this guy.I mean, part of me wants to punish Candace, but another part of me really likes this guy.47:13
  981. Well, what works for me when I'm in doubt is to just do nothing.Well, what works for me when I'm in doubt is to just do nothing.47:18
  982. Until I'm absolutely sure.Until I'm absolutely sure.47:22
  983. I swear I will kill you, old woman.I swear I will kill you, old woman.47:24
  984. I'm so glad I called you.I'm so glad I called you.47:29
  985. You always get me right back on track.You always get me right back on track.47:31
  986. You're welcome, sweetie.You're welcome, sweetie.47:33
  987. Let's talk tomorrow.Let's talk tomorrow.47:34
  988. Do you not see the big picture here?Do you not see the big picture here?47:36
  989. What?What?47:38
  990. That you're pimping out your daughter?That you're pimping out your daughter?47:39
  991. Oh, so you do see it.Oh, so you do see it.47:41
  992. Okay.Okay.47:46
  993. Not tonight.Not tonight.47:48
  994. Definitely not tonight.Definitely not tonight.47:51
  995. Ha.Ha.47:55
  996. Ha.Ha.47:57
  997. Is it appropriate for me to send your sponsor a gift basket?Is it appropriate for me to send your sponsor a gift basket?47:58
  998. That's nice.That's nice.48:02
  999. She'd like that.She'd like that.48:03
  1000. Hey.Hey.48:08
  1001. Oh, hey.Oh, hey.48:08
  1002. You're Hurley.You're Hurley.48:09
  1003. Sorry.Sorry.48:10
  1004. Rasko ready?Rasko ready?48:11
  1005. No, he's on a bike ride with my mom.No, he's on a bike ride with my mom.48:12
  1006. Oh.Oh.48:14
  1007. Uh, okay, if I hang out?Uh, okay, if I hang out?48:15
  1008. Sure.Sure.48:17
  1009. You want a cup of coffee?You want a cup of coffee?48:18
  1010. Thanks.Thanks.48:19
  1011. So, caffeine's like the only drug you have left, right?So, caffeine's like the only drug you have left, right?48:20
  1012. No.No.48:23
  1013. I had a cold on New Year's Eve and got to huff a little vapor rub.I had a cold on New Year's Eve and got to huff a little vapor rub.48:24
  1014. Nice.Nice.48:29
  1015. Man, you and me had some crazy New Year's Eve's.Man, you and me had some crazy New Year's Eve's.48:30
  1016. And New Year's days, checking all the hospitals and jails, trying to find each other.And New Year's days, checking all the hospitals and jails, trying to find each other.48:34
  1017. You were always in the last place I looked.You were always in the last place I looked.48:39
  1018. So, what's going on with the honeymoon?So, what's going on with the honeymoon?48:42
  1019. You making any plans?You making any plans?48:45
  1020. Two weeks in Italy.Two weeks in Italy.48:46
  1021. Ooh.Ooh.48:48
  1022. That'll be fun with no carbs.That'll be fun with no carbs.48:49
  1023. That's the least of it.That's the least of it.48:52
  1024. Candice doesn't want to speak in English while we're there, so we don't come off like stupid American tourists.Candice doesn't want to speak in English while we're there, so we don't come off like stupid American tourists.48:53
  1025. But you don't speak Italian.But you don't speak Italian.48:58
  1026. And there's the problem.And there's the problem.49:00
  1027. Thanks.Thanks.49:04
  1028. So, what's going on in your life?So, what's going on in your life?49:05
  1029. Seeing anybody?Seeing anybody?49:07
  1030. No, not really.No, not really.49:08
  1031. There's a guy in my pre -law class who always saves a seat for me, so I guess we'll see where that goes.There's a guy in my pre -law class who always saves a seat for me, so I guess we'll see where that goes.49:09
  1032. Huh.Huh.49:15
  1033. He's 19, so it might be more of a mom thing.He's 19, so it might be more of a mom thing.49:16
  1034. A hot mom thing.A hot mom thing.49:20
  1035. Well, stop.Well, stop.49:23
  1036. We're back.We're back.49:26
  1037. In the kitchen.In the kitchen.49:27
  1038. Hey, Dad.Hey, Dad.49:29
  1039. Hey, buddy.Hey, buddy.49:30
  1040. Well, well, look who's here.Well, well, look who's here.49:32
  1041. Good to see you, Baxter.Good to see you, Baxter.49:35
  1042. Good to see you too.Good to see you too.49:36
  1043. How's it going?How's it going?49:37
  1044. Not bad.Not bad.49:38
  1045. Good, good.Good, good.49:39
  1046. Been here long?Been here long?49:40
  1047. A few minutes.A few minutes.49:41
  1048. That checks out.That checks out.49:46
  1049. Would you like a cup without Sherlock Holmes' finger in it?Would you like a cup without Sherlock Holmes' finger in it?49:53
  1050. No, we gotta get going.No, we gotta get going.49:57
  1051. Our movie's at two.Our movie's at two.49:58
  1052. Mom, why don't you come with us?Mom, why don't you come with us?50:00
  1053. Oh, uh, no.Oh, uh, no.50:02
  1054. This is time you spend with your dad.This is time you spend with your dad.50:04
  1055. I don't mind.I don't mind.50:06
  1056. Come on, Chrissy.Come on, Chrissy.50:07
  1057. It'll be fun.It'll be fun.50:07
  1058. Sure.Sure.50:09
  1059. I don't see why not.I don't see why not.50:10
  1060. I do.I do.50:11
  1061. I'm just gonna need a minute.I'm just gonna need a minute.50:14
  1062. Meet you at the car?Meet you at the car?50:15
  1063. Great.Great.50:16
  1064. Let's go, buddy.Let's go, buddy.50:17
  1065. This is cool.This is cool.50:18
  1066. I've never gone on a movie just built with you.I've never gone on a movie just built with you.50:19
  1067. What are you doing?What are you doing?50:22
  1068. Nothing.Nothing.50:23
  1069. Don't make a big deal about this.Don't make a big deal about this.50:24
  1070. She said as she applies slightly whorish lipstick.She said as she applies slightly whorish lipstick.50:27
  1071. This is your lipstick.This is your lipstick.50:32
  1072. And I'm not going because of Baxter.And I'm not going because of Baxter.50:39
  1073. I'm going to spend time with my son.I'm going to spend time with my son.50:42
  1074. The lies fell from Chrissy's lips like cherry blossoms in the springtime.The lies fell from Chrissy's lips like cherry blossoms in the springtime.50:44
  1075. Stop narrating my life.Stop narrating my life.50:49
  1076. With those words, she was gone.With those words, she was gone.50:51
  1077. Who's this?Who's this?50:56
  1078. That's Lenore.That's Lenore.50:57
  1079. She came along after you.She came along after you.50:58
  1080. Oh, that's nice.Oh, that's nice.51:00
  1081. Is she around?Is she around?51:01
  1082. I'd love to meet her.I'd love to meet her.51:01
  1083. Yeah.Yeah.51:02
  1084. Right on the mantle.Right on the mantle.51:03
  1085. Bonnie, Lenore, Lenore, Bonnie.Bonnie, Lenore, Lenore, Bonnie.51:05
  1086. I'm so sorry.I'm so sorry.51:09
  1087. How did she die?How did she die?51:11
  1088. Doing what she loved most.Doing what she loved most.51:11
  1089. Mountain climbing.Mountain climbing.51:13
  1090. Well, in this case, mountain falling.Well, in this case, mountain falling.51:15
  1091. Sorry.Sorry.51:19
  1092. Don't be.Don't be.51:20
  1093. She would have loved that joke.She would have loved that joke.51:21
  1094. You gonna tell me why you're here?You gonna tell me why you're here?51:24
  1095. Why do you think I need to make amends?Why do you think I need to make amends?51:26
  1096. You were so good to me and Chrissy and I just treated you horribly.You were so good to me and Chrissy and I just treated you horribly.51:31
  1097. I accept your amends.I accept your amends.51:37
  1098. Really?Really?51:39
  1099. It's that easy?It's that easy?51:40
  1100. Well, in all fairness, I did my best to keep you loaded so you'd stick around.Well, in all fairness, I did my best to keep you loaded so you'd stick around.51:42
  1101. So I guess I owe you an amends too.So I guess I owe you an amends too.51:47
  1102. Wait.Wait.51:50
  1103. I'm confused.I'm confused.51:51
  1104. All these years, I thought I was the one who took advantage of you.All these years, I thought I was the one who took advantage of you.51:51
  1105. Now you're saying I was the victim?Now you're saying I was the victim?51:54
  1106. Some victim.Some victim.51:56
  1107. I kept a well -stocked bar.I kept a well -stocked bar.51:57
  1108. I tossed a couple of Quailudes and you lived with me for two years rent -free.I tossed a couple of Quailudes and you lived with me for two years rent -free.51:59
  1109. Two years?Two years?52:05
  1110. Time flies when you put bourbon on your pancakes.Time flies when you put bourbon on your pancakes.52:07
  1111. Huh.Huh.52:12
  1112. Okay.Okay.52:13
  1113. Well, what do you say?Well, what do you say?52:13
  1114. We just call it even.We just call it even.52:15
  1115. Works for me?Works for me?52:17
  1116. You hungry?You hungry?52:18
  1117. I guess I could eat.I guess I could eat.52:19
  1118. Come on.Come on.52:21
  1119. I'll throw a couple steaks on the grill.I'll throw a couple steaks on the grill.52:21
  1120. Sounds good.Sounds good.52:23
  1121. All right.All right.52:24
  1122. I'm really glad we could reconnect.I'm really glad we could reconnect.52:25
  1123. Me too.Me too.52:27
  1124. I would have laid even money.I would have laid even money.52:28
  1125. You'd be dead or in jail by now.You'd be dead or in jail by now.52:29
  1126. Technically, I've been both.Technically, I've been both.52:32
  1127. Why aren't we using the dishwasher?Why aren't we using the dishwasher?52:35
  1128. I like it better this way.I like it better this way.52:37
  1129. It's soothing.It's soothing.52:38
  1130. Although you still cannot dry a dish.Although you still cannot dry a dish.52:39
  1131. What?What?52:42
  1132. Look at it.Look at it.52:43
  1133. It's wetter than when I handed it to you.It's wetter than when I handed it to you.52:44
  1134. Well, then give me a better towel.Well, then give me a better towel.52:45
  1135. Really?Really?52:47
  1136. You're blaming the towel?You're blaming the towel?52:48
  1137. You'd rather I blame you for not using the friggin' dishwasher?You'd rather I blame you for not using the friggin' dishwasher?52:49
  1138. Same old party.Same old party.52:53
  1139. Hey, can I ask you something?Hey, can I ask you something?52:56
  1140. Sure.Sure.52:59
  1141. Anything.Anything.52:59
  1142. You know what?You know what?53:01
  1143. Never mind.Never mind.53:02
  1144. I always hated when you did that.I always hated when you did that.53:03
  1145. Ask me.Ask me.53:05
  1146. Okay.Okay.53:06
  1147. Back when we were a couple, were you just going through the motions?Back when we were a couple, were you just going through the motions?53:08
  1148. Did you have any feelings for me at all?Did you have any feelings for me at all?53:12
  1149. Of course I had feelings for you.Of course I had feelings for you.53:16
  1150. I mean, as much as I was capable of having feelings for anybody.I mean, as much as I was capable of having feelings for anybody.53:20
  1151. You know, I was devastated when you left.You know, I was devastated when you left.53:25
  1152. I know.I know.53:29
  1153. When I saw you walk into that meeting, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.When I saw you walk into that meeting, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.53:31
  1154. Yeah.Yeah.53:36
  1155. I get a little jilt too.I get a little jilt too.53:37
  1156. Oh, jeez.Oh, jeez.53:39
  1157. Oh, God!Oh, God!53:41
  1158. Are you okay?Are you okay?53:42
  1159. Alright, folks.Alright, folks.53:50
  1160. This is the part of the evening that always tugs at my recently scraped -out heartstrings.This is the part of the evening that always tugs at my recently scraped -out heartstrings.53:55
  1161. Where we offer a helping hand to one deserving student who is seeking a career in the law.Where we offer a helping hand to one deserving student who is seeking a career in the law.54:00
  1162. Now, this year we have three outstanding young candidates who will say a few words about why they want to be an attorney.Now, this year we have three outstanding young candidates who will say a few words about why they want to be an attorney.54:05
  1163. And we'll begin with Kristi Plunkay.And we'll begin with Kristi Plunkay.54:11
  1164. Thank you.Thank you.54:20
  1165. It's actually Plunkit, but I kind of like the sound of Plunkay.It's actually Plunkit, but I kind of like the sound of Plunkay.54:21
  1166. It's more Funkay.It's more Funkay.54:26
  1167. Alright then, not Funkay.Alright then, not Funkay.54:30
  1168. Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a lawyer because I wanted to make a difference.Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a lawyer because I wanted to make a difference.54:34
  1169. I wanted to help people like Atticus Finch did in the inspiring novel, To Kill a Mockingbird.I wanted to help people like Atticus Finch did in the inspiring novel, To Kill a Mockingbird.54:42
  1170. I believe that the real superheroes in our society are lawyers.I believe that the real superheroes in our society are lawyers.54:50
  1171. Especially trial lawyers.Especially trial lawyers.54:57
  1172. I'm not a lawyer.I'm not a lawyer.55:09
  1173. You know what?You know what?55:10
  1174. This is all crap.This is all crap.55:11
  1175. Let me tell you why I'm really here.Let me tell you why I'm really here.55:16
  1176. I wasted a lot of my life using drugs and alcohol.I wasted a lot of my life using drugs and alcohol.55:21
  1177. I was a complete and total mess.I was a complete and total mess.55:25
  1178. But three years ago, I got sober, got my GED, finished two years of community college with a 3 .8 grade average, all while I was working as a waitressBut three years ago, I got sober, got my GED, finished two years of community college with a 3 .8 grade average, all while I was working as a waitress55:28
  1179. and legal secretary.and legal secretary.55:40
  1180. At the same time, I was raising my son and daughter and caring for my mentally challenged mother.At the same time, I was raising my son and daughter and caring for my mentally challenged mother.55:42
  1181. So the answer to why I want to be a lawyer is simple.So the answer to why I want to be a lawyer is simple.55:51
  1182. I know firsthand what it's like to fall through the cracks.I know firsthand what it's like to fall through the cracks.55:55
  1183. And I also know what it's like to be given a second chance.And I also know what it's like to be given a second chance.55:59
  1184. If you decide to help me out, your money won't be wasted.If you decide to help me out, your money won't be wasted.56:03
  1185. Because I've lived enough to appreciate how precious an opportunity like this is.Because I've lived enough to appreciate how precious an opportunity like this is.56:08
  1186. Thank you.Thank you.56:14
  1187. Also, I never read To Kill a Mockingbird, I just saw the movie.Also, I never read To Kill a Mockingbird, I just saw the movie.56:20

Mesuré dans ce clip

Débit
220 mots par minute — plus rapide que 77% du catalogue
Niveau CECRL
B1
Formes réduites ici
gonna ×16, gotta ×6, -in' ×2
Mots à connaître
helter, skelter, classier, psychotherapist, glowed, tugs
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