Pratique du shadowing : Robert Greene's Life Advice Will Leave You Speechless
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- And is there a strategy that young people or really anybody that feels lost or aimless in their life should and is able to deploy to find their purpose, to0:00
- find the direction, the thing they should be aiming at?0:11
- Well, you know, you have to get out of this way of thinking that so many people have, which everything has to be simple and linear, and I'm headed in0:15
- this direction, there's got to be a solution, like I'm hacking my way to the truth.0:25
- Life doesn't work that way.0:29
- Life is very complex, so I can't give you a single track answer to finding your life purpose, you as an individual, but I can give you kind of clues.0:31
- I can kind of direct you towards certain paths that have worked for me and that have worked for hundreds and thousands of other people who've become masters or very0:41
- successful in their field.0:50
- And the first thing is you have to go inward.0:53
- So you have to resist the pull that our culture gives you.0:57
- You have to also really want this.1:01
- That's probably what it really comes down to.1:03
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- Are you unhappy?1:06
- Are you frustrated?1:07
- Are you hitting kind of rock bottom?1:08
- Is this a turning point in your life where you realize if I keep going this way in five years, it's going to be really serious.1:09
- Okay, it has to be important to you and you have to have a sense of urgency.1:16
- And with that sense of urgency, you have to make some decisions.1:20
- And one of the decisions that's absolutely essential is to pay less attention to what other people are doing, to pay less attention to what other people are saying, to1:24
- pay less attention to what people are telling you you should be doing, and to go inward and think about yourself and think about what you love and what your1:33
- interests are.1:41
- They have nothing to do with what people are doing on social media, the things that grab you that excite you deeply inside in a way that's almost irresistible.1:42
- Now, for me, I can say that it was always been writing, okay, and I just couldn't figure out what kind of writing, but there's also things like when I1:51
- ever read anything that has to do with ancient history, particularly the origins of humanity, hundreds of, you know, tens of thousands of years ago, I am so excited, I2:01
- can't, I can't, I can read every single article about that, every discovery that takes place in Africa about our origins.2:12
- It just puts my mind in a spin to think that this is who we were 100 ,000 years ago, and this is who we are now.2:20
- I want to know more.2:27
- That's like this, one of these things that hits you in the gut.2:29
- Well, the people out there, you have that, there's something like that.2:31
- You had it when you were a child, you had it when you were two, three, four years old, five years old, and you've lost it because you're listening too2:34
- much to other people.2:41
- So it's kind of like archaeology would be the metaphor.2:43
- You have to dig and dig and dig and find those bones and those relics and those artifacts from your past, the things that really excite you, as well as2:47
- the things that you hate.2:56
- Now, if I were to go, you know, kind of do a reverse engineering, which I do with a lot of people who are successful like yourself, I could go2:58
- back and kind of find that with you where that hit you because you had a particular path that led you to doing these podcasts.3:06
- I know it wasn't a straight line, you deviated, you were in some other job that you hated, and then you slowly found your way.3:13
- Each of those stories, there's a lesson for people, right?3:21
- And that's what I compiled in Mastery.3:24
- But it all begins from a sense of urgency.3:27
- I can't go on this way.3:30
- I have to find something that I love.3:32
- When you're 20 or 21, maybe you don't feel that urgency because you're so young, you know, you look good, you have lots of energy, the world's kind of open3:34
- to you.3:43
- But you have to be careful because time passes really quickly those years in your 20s that go by faster than you think.3:44
- And if you turn 30 and you never thought about this, and you're kind of been wandering around trying things, it starts to get a little difficult, a much harder3:50
- for you.4:00
- So it's better if you have that sense of urgency when you're 21 or 22.4:00
- And the other thing I would say is you don't learn anything if you're not excited by it.4:06
- So you have to have a sense of fun and adventure about this.4:13
- So discovering what your life's task can't be this dreary, boring thing that Robert's advocating to do when you, oh, I have to spend time with myself, I have to4:17
- look, you know, do a journal, blah, blah, blah, no, it's fun.4:25
- It's an adventure trying different things that fit into this general shape of what you were destined for.4:28
- It's a blast.4:35
- You know, when I was in my 20s, I had more fun than anybody.4:36
- I had an amazing time.4:40
- It was the best years of my life.4:41
- I was trying all sorts of different things.4:42
- I was exploring, I was traveling, I had adventures.4:44
- So I don't want your life to be boring.4:47
- I want you to learn, I want you to have adventures, but you have to have a sense of direction, a sense of purpose to guide that kind of those,4:50
- those different adventures that you go on.4:56
- Do you think it's harder to find your sense of purpose and what you're deeply connected to as you get older?4:59
- Yeah, I think so.5:06
- Your mind gets a little bit more rigid.5:08
- You think you know all of the answers, right?5:10
- But what happens with a lot of people, I also get correspondence from or let's say turning 40 or even a little bit older, and they're coming to those crossroads,5:13
- is it's even much more painful than when you're in your 20s, because there's a sense of regret, there's a sense that you've wasted your time.5:23
- And to get back to a path that will suit you can be very difficult as you mentioned, but there's also another side to that, which is you probably have5:31
- been learning some skills in your life.5:43
- You've probably have had some experiences that have changed you, because when you're 21, 22, you don't know the world.5:46
- You don't know people, you think you know everything, but you don't know anything, right?5:52
- You've never had any experiences in life.5:56
- You never had to suffer.5:57
- Maybe you have, but not really suffering like you do when you get older.5:59
- Okay, so you're 40, you've had tough experiences, you've been hardened, you've got, you know, you're not so fragile, and you've learned things.6:03
- If you change your mindset at that age and you go, I'm going to take what I have, my experiences, my skills, what I've learned, and I'm going to redirect6:12
- it towards something more exciting for me, then it will work for you, right?6:21
- But as you say, it can be harder because you're more set in your ways.6:26
- And you've built a life, you've built a network, you've built a reputation for being this thing, whether it's lawyer, doctor, dentist, whatever it might be.6:30
- And so there's an element of shedding that might have to occur, shedding people, shedding a city that you live in, shedding a way that people know you, an income,6:38
- and that's deeply difficult.6:47
- And I think some people would prefer the certain misery of their current situation to the uncertainty, and the shedding that occurs when they go in search of something else.6:49
- Yeah, but I mean, the pain that you feel when you get older, and you know, we humans have very active minds.6:59
- We're gifted with the most powerful organ in the entire universe, the human brain.7:09
- The billions of possible connections in our brain is greater than anything in the entire universe.7:14
- It is the most amazing instrument, and our brains are very active.7:20
- And when you get older, and you don't have anything to put your brain on to, and things are slowing down, you don't realize that that's making you depressed.7:24
- You don't realize that the fact that you haven't been able to fulfill what you were meant to fulfill is actually the source of your misery and unhappiness.7:34
- You will blame it on other people, you will blame it on the world, you will blame it on politics, you won't look at yourself and realize that it comes7:41
- from you, and the sadness comes from you and the fact that you're not maximizing, not exploiting this gift that you were given.7:48
- So it might be difficult to shed all of that.7:57
- But I've talked to people, I'd say more like around 30 years old, who say, Robert, I'm at this horrible job.8:01
- I'm in a fast food place or something.8:11
- I don't remember what it was, or I'm a barista, whatever.8:13
- I'm so unhappy.8:16
- I have a wife, and I have two kids.8:18
- What do I do?8:22
- Right?8:23
- And so I go into their misery a little bit, and then I say, okay, let's first figure out something that you think you would really want in life, something8:24
- that will have an income, because you have to pay for your wife and your children.8:34
- You can't just go off and write poetry or become a rockster.8:38
- You have to support yourself and your family.8:42
- What could that possibly be?8:44
- And we dig, and we dig, and we dig.8:46
- I say, all right, we have an answer, a kind of an idea.8:47
- I want you to do this following.8:51
- I want you to carve out two hours, or as much as you can at night, where you start exploring this field on the internet, and you start considering maybe8:53
- going to night school, okay, and taking classes that change this course.9:03
- And then I want you to think of five years where you're going to be a goal, five years ahead.9:09
- And they tell me overnight, just having that has changed them.9:15
- Suddenly, from their depression, they have hope, and they feel a million times better, and they have energy.9:20
- Just from realizing that there is a possibility, it's going to take hard work, but there is an answer.9:25
- There is a place to go, and so it changes it when you have some sense of direction.9:31
- There'll be so many people listening to that now, and they'll be thinking, I have a plan, I have an idea, or at least a kernel of an idea, but9:37
- I've spent the last three months, six months, 12 months, 18 months, two years thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking.9:46
- And not doing?9:54
- And not doing.9:55
- People stop me all the time, and they'll say, Steve, I'm thinking of starting a podcast.9:57
- And I'll say, how long have you been thinking about this, but lost two and a half years?10:01
- Yeah.10:04
- You know, I talk in mastery about something called, a concept called learning by doing.10:05
- And back in the Middle Ages, they used to have an apprenticeship that you would go through.10:11
- Seven years, you would learn to be a craftsman, right?10:17
- You'd first go from being an apprentice to a journeyman to a master.10:20
- By doing things, the brain learns.10:24
- But if you never do anything, you're never going to learn.10:27
- So if you suddenly said, I've been thinking about a podcast, I would say, get off your ass and start the podcast tomorrow.10:30
- And it fails.10:38
- You have learned so many things.10:40
- You've learned more in those three months of failure than you have been two years thinking, or five years of getting an MBA from some school and putting yourself in10:42
- massive debt.10:52
- Learn by doing, learn by failing.10:53
- Why is planning and procrastination that comes with the prolonged planning so tempting for people?10:56
- Like, why do we love to plan, plan, plan, plan, plan?11:04
- Because you're afraid of failure, quite honestly.11:07
- I mean, Freud has a word for it in German, airfolks angst, which means fear of success.11:11
- Because this is something that afflicts a lot of adolescents.11:19
- Because if you're successful, you now have responsibility.11:23
- You now have a reputation.11:27
- You now have succeeded and your next venture could fail.11:29
- This pressure that comes with trying something and putting your name out there.11:32
- And if I don't ever try anything, if I don't bother, if I blame the world, I blame my parents, I blame my education system, I blame my partner, this,11:38
- that, and the other, then you never have to worry.11:46
- You never have to have that responsibility.11:48
- You never have to have that fear of success.11:50
- And that holds people back.11:53
- So it's easier to not do anything and stay in your little bubble and go, God, if I only, if only I had had money, I would have written this11:54
- great novel, I would have done this, this, that, or the other.12:03
- It's just crap.12:06
- You're trying to delude yourself and you're afraid of actually putting your neck out on the line.12:07
- That's what it comes down to.12:12
- It's a common syndrome among adolescents.12:14
- I was reading, I think it was the book, The Courage to Be Disliked, and it was talking in one of the sections about how some people would like, they12:17
- prefer to live in the like realm of possibility.12:25
- And the realm of possibility is the space you live when you declare to the world that you're going to do something and be something, and before you actually do12:28
- it.12:36
- So when I tell my friends, listen, I'm going to become an actor, for example, the year and a half where I go around saying that I live in the12:36
- world of possibility where there's been no feedback to disprove me yet, which is nice.12:43
- But I'm kind of getting the credit for being the type of person that's aspiring to change.12:48
- And that like realm of possibility before you get feedback or try to be a good person.12:52
- It's a very nice place to be for some.12:56
- It is, and it's very addicting and it's kind of a narcotic, but the thing is, so you've got this realm of possibility, which you could become anything.12:59
- I could become an actor.13:08
- I could become a great novice.13:09
- I could become a CEO.13:11
- I could be Elon Musk the second.13:12
- But the way the world works is you don't achieve anything unless you have limits.13:14
- Having limits and hitting that wall and that resistance is what makes you learn is what makes you great is how the human brain functions.13:20
- And what I mean by that is, let's say you're learning the piano.13:27
- You can't just start out playing anything and just doing all the notes.13:33
- It's very limited what you can do.13:36
- And you have to go within those limits and those walls and learn the first things first, and then those walls start to expand a little bit, but you're constantly13:39
- pressing against limits.13:48
- And those limits make you stronger and stronger.13:49
- It's like when you're swimming, the resistance in the water is what makes your muscles bigger, right?13:52
- The resistance of limits is what makes your brain bigger, makes you more successful, makes you learn.13:58
- But if all you do is live in that nebulous world of possibility, you're never developing, you're never getting any muscle, you're never getting any strength, you're not developing life14:03
- skills.14:13
- It's a tough world.14:14
- So even you know that, people can be very cruel.14:15
- It can be very mean spirited world.14:19
- You have to have a thick skin in this world.14:21
- You have to develop some toughness.14:22
- And you develop that toughness by trying things out and by failing.14:24
- And if you fail, you know, like my wife's in the film business and we know a lot of actors.14:29
- And actor, you know, we think it's all glamorous, but it's actually like 99 % rejection.14:36
- People are constantly rejecting you and they're rejecting you for things that are, you have no control over like your looks, you know.14:42
- And so what separates the actors who succeed and the ones who don't are those that have a bit of a tough skin.14:50
- They don't take that rejection, oh, I'm so, I'm so unworthy.14:56
- I hate myself.15:00
- Oh, the world's so awful.15:01
- They go, all right, I'm going to go on to the next one.15:02
- I learned what wasn't working there.15:04
- And you develop some toughness.15:06
- If you don't develop that toughness, you're never going to get anywhere in life.15:08
- And you get it by trying and trying and working at it.15:11
- And when you're in that sort of first chapter of your professional life, is there anything from all of the work that you've done, the writing that you've done, that15:14
- a young person should be trying to acquire?15:23
- And I say that, should they be aiming at knowledge, skills, reputation, money, network?15:26
- Definitely not money.15:33
- Definitely not reputation.15:34
- Perhaps, I mean, yeah, reputation or fame.15:36
- Perhaps network can help.15:41
- But what you really want to do in this world, in the 21st century in our decade is skills.15:43
- You want to be learning skills.15:49
- The more skills you have, and I mean true skills, I don't mean trying something out for a year, and then going on to something else for another, I mean,15:52
- getting real skill at something, right?15:59
- Whether it's in computers, whether it's in the arts, in any field, real skill.16:02
- And then if you can develop two or three skills by the time you're in your 20s and still have some fun, the world is going to open up to16:08
- you because what you're going to be able to do when you turn 30 is you're going to go, I can take that skill that I learned in computers, I16:15
- can take that skill I learned in media, and in creating a podcast or weather, and I can create a business that's going to combine the two in a way16:22
- that no one has ever thought of because I'm a unique person.16:31
- The world will open up to you.16:35
- Skills are the gold of the 21st century.16:37
- And if you're seduced by money, if you think about money, you're doomed because that's not what matters in life.16:41
- Because let's say you have two job offers.16:47
- One is that Goldman Sachs opening position for 150 ,000 a year, and one is at some startup for 30 ,000 a year, and you're living in New York, and16:51
- you're going to be starving, you're going to be sharing a miserable little flat somewhere in Bushwick, whatever.17:01
- Take the $30 ,000 a year job because you're going to learn so much.17:07
- You're going to be hands -on.17:12
- Whereas in that other job, you're going to be lost in there.17:14
- You're going to be among hundreds of other young people, and you're not going to have responsibilities.17:16
- Here you're going to have responsibilities.17:22
- So money is not what matters to you because when you're in your 20s, you can starve, you can live on less food, you can have it a little tough17:23
- because you're young.17:32
- I know myself.17:34
- I was very poor.17:35
- I lived in London.17:37
- I had a job in London in 1984, I believe, 1984, and I was making, I think it was 30 pounds a week, maybe it's less than that, was by17:39
- starting salary.17:50
- And my girlfriend at the time, the only thing we could eat was turnips and cauliflower.17:52
- Cauliflower cheese was our main dish, but I was 25.17:58
- I can handle it.18:02
- So you can handle not making money and learning because that's what's most important.18:03
- I don't think many young people in that first season of life realize how long life is.18:08
- So we try and take shortcuts.18:14
- We try and get to the money as fast as we can, but you're telling me to take a longer road, which is the acquisition of skills, even at the18:17
- cost of some of those short -term rewards that are very tempting to post on my Instagram.18:24
- Yeah.18:28
- Well, I mean, also, you look at somebody like Steve Jobs, I can relate to that because he wasn't interested in money at all.18:29
- It was never the motivating factor.18:37
- It's never been my motivating factor.18:38
- I wanted to have fun and I wanted to be successful and I wanted to be able to write.18:40
- He wanted to design the most beautiful pieces of technology in the world.18:46
- It ended up, he was like the richest man in the world at the time, but he never cared about money.18:51
- It wasn't what motivated him.18:56
- I never cared about money and now I'm not as rich as Steve Jobs, but I'm doing fairly well because it'll come to you.18:58
- If you play the game right, if you learn the skills when you're young and then you develop your own business, by the time you're 35, you'll be making four19:05
- times what you would have made at that Goldman Sachs job.19:14
- That's how the game is played these days.19:18
- Starting your own business, being an entrepreneur, being an entrepreneur is the most powerful position you can attain for, aim for.19:21
- Some people aren't destined for that.19:28
- It's not in their DNA, but to me, that's what we should all be aiming for, to be your own boss because personally, I hated working for other people, but19:31
- being an entrepreneur, starting your own business, one that has a niche in this world, you're going to make all the money that you'll ever need.19:40
- If you love the Diary of a CEO, Brandon, you watch this channel.19:48
- Please do me a huge favor, become part of the 15 % of the viewers on this channel that have hit the subscribe button.19:50
- It helps us tremendously and the bigger the channel gets, the bigger the guests.19:57
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- Mots à connaître
- toughness, aimless, motivating, deviated, delude, startup