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Практика английского по видео: What Makes a Good Life - Robert Waldinger

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Фраза 1

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  1. What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life?0:12
  2. If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy?0:18
  3. There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were.0:25
  4. And over 80 % said that a major life goal for them was to get rich.0:34
  5. And another 50 % of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous.0:40
  6. And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder and achieve more.0:51
  7. We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after in order to have a good life.1:00
  8. Pictures of entire lives, of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them, those pictures are almost impossible to get.1:06
  9. But most of what we know about human life, we know from asking people to remember the past.1:17
  10. And as we know, hindsight is anything but 2020.1:24
  11. We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life.1:29
  12. And sometimes memory is downright creative.1:33
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  1. But what if we could watch entire lives as they unfold through time?1:36
  2. What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers all the way into old age to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?1:43
  3. We did that.1:55
  4. The Harvard study of adult development may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done.1:57
  5. For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men.2:05
  6. Year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health, and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories were going to turn2:13
  7. out.2:22
  8. Studies like this are exceedingly rare.2:25
  9. Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade.2:28
  10. Because too many people drop out of the study or funding for the research dries up, or the researchers get distracted or they die and nobody moves the ball further2:32
  11. down the field.2:44
  12. But through a combination of luck and the persistence of several generations of researchers, this study has survived.2:45
  13. About 60 of our original 724 men are still alive, still participating in the study, most of them in their 90s.2:54
  14. And we are now beginning to study the more than 2 ,000 children of these men.3:05
  15. And I'm the fourth director of the study.3:11
  16. Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men.3:15
  17. The first group started in the study when they were sophomores at Harvard College.3:20
  18. They all finished college during World War II and then most went off to serve in the war.3:24
  19. And the second group that we've followed was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods.3:29
  20. Boys who were chosen for the study specifically because they were from some of the most troubled and disadvantaged families in the Boston of the 1930s.3:37
  21. Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.3:47
  22. When they entered the study, all of these teenagers were interviewed, they were given medical exams.3:54
  23. We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents.4:01
  24. And then these teenagers grew up into adults who entered all walks of life.4:05
  25. They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors.4:09
  26. One president of the United States.4:15
  27. Some developed alcoholism, a few developed schizophrenia.4:19
  28. Some climbed the social ladder from the bottom all the way to the very top.4:25
  29. And some made that journey in the opposite direction.4:30
  30. The founders of this study would never in their wildest dreams have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later telling you that the study still continues.4:35
  31. Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff calls up our men and asks them if we can send them yet one more set of questions about their lives.4:48
  32. Many of the inner city Boston men ask us, why do you keep wanting to study me?4:59
  33. My life just isn't that interesting.5:05
  34. The Harvard men never ask that question.5:08
  35. To get the clearest picture of these lives, we don't just send them questionnaires.5:20
  36. We interview them in their living rooms.5:26
  37. We get their medical records from their doctors.5:29
  38. We draw their blood.5:32
  39. We scan their brains.5:33
  40. We talk to their children.5:34
  41. We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns.5:36
  42. And when about a decade ago we finally asked the wives if they would join us as members of the study, many of the women said, you know, it's about5:41
  43. time.5:49
  44. So what have we learned?5:51
  45. What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages of information that we've generated on these lives?5:53
  46. Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder.6:03
  47. The clearest message that we get from this 75 -year study is this.6:10
  48. Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.6:16
  49. Period.6:21
  50. We've learned three big lessons about relationships.6:22
  51. The first is that social connections are really good for us and that loneliness kills.6:26
  52. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less6:33
  53. well connected.6:46
  54. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.6:48
  55. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy.6:51
  56. Their health declines earlier in midlife.7:00
  57. Their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.7:03
  58. And the sad fact is that at any given time more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.7:09
  59. And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd and you can be lonely in a marriage.7:18
  60. So the second big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends you have and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship,7:24
  61. but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.7:32
  62. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health.7:38
  63. High conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced.7:43
  64. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.7:53
  65. Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at midlife and to see if we could predict who was7:57
  66. going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn't.8:06
  67. And when we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn't their middle -aged cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old.8:11
  68. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships.8:23
  69. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.8:26
  70. And good, close relationships seemed to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old.8:35
  71. Our most happily partnered men and women reported in their 80s that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy.8:42
  72. But the people who were in unhappy relationships on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.8:54
  73. And the third big lesson that we learn about relationships and our health is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains.9:04
  74. It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective.9:14
  75. That the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper longer.9:23
  76. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory decline.9:32
  77. And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time.9:41
  78. Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other day in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when9:46
  79. the going got tough, those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.9:54
  80. So, this message that good, close relationships are good for our health and well -being.10:02
  81. This is wisdom that's as old as the hills.10:09
  82. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore?10:12
  83. Well, we're human.10:17
  84. What we'd really like is a quick fix, something we can get that'll make our lives good and keep them that way.10:19
  85. Relationships are messy and they're complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, that's not sexy or glamorous.10:27
  86. It's also lifelong.10:37
  87. It never ends.10:38
  88. The people in our 75 -year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates.10:40
  89. Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men, when they were starting out as young adults, really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement were10:51
  90. what they needed to go after to have a good life.11:02
  91. But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned into relationships with family, with friends,11:06
  92. with community.11:17
  93. So, what about you?11:20
  94. Let's say you're 25 or you're 40 or you're 60.11:23
  95. What might leaning into relationships even look like?11:27
  96. Well, the possibilities are practically endless.11:31
  97. It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time, or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together, long walks or date nights, or11:35
  98. reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years, because those all too common family feuds take a terrible toll on the people who hold the11:48
  99. grudges.12:01
  100. I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain.12:03
  101. More than a century ago, he was looking back on his life and he wrote this.12:08
  102. There isn't time so brief as life for bickering, apologies, heart burnings, callings to account.12:16
  103. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.12:26
  104. The good life is built with good relationships.12:33
  105. Thank you.12:38

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Темп
159 слов в минуту — быстрее, чем 25% каталога
Уровень CEFR
B2
Слова, которые стоит знать
tenements, questionnaires, feuds, declines, fared, clearest
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