Latihan shadowing: Michael McIntyre's Best Stories - Stand Up Comedy
Dengarkan kalimatnya, lalu ucapkan dengan lantang
Kalimat 1
Transkrip lengkap
- Myfydwn yn rhoi rhoi rhoi rhoi gan y nôr.0:00
- Myfydwn yn rhoi rhoi rhoi rhoi———— !——— !——————————————————————————————————————————————— !—— !— !—!0:01
- Oeddwn yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y0:30
- cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y0:35
- cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y0:40
- cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cefnod yn y cef Oes y cefn— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen0:49
- nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen1:01
- nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen1:08
- nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— maen nhw— ma ac nid yw—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————— Oherwydd y maes gan y1:13
- maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y1:29
- maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y1:34
- maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y1:40
Tampilkan semua 425 kalimat Tampilkan lebih sedikit
- maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y1:49
- maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y1:53
- maes gan y maes gan y maes gan y maes gan Oh!1:56
- Oh, that's very peculiar.1:59
- So I went over to the gym.2:01
- Turn the light off, dark again, made my way slowly.2:05
- That's the main.2:09
- Got myself in.2:13
- Late as soon as my head hit the pillow, the light took back up.2:14
- Oh, there's going on.2:19
- So I marched back quite quickly.2:21
- I convinced myself of some kind of sensor.2:23
- So this time I was very, very hopeful.2:25
- I slowly got to the bed and nothing happened.2:33
- I said, oh, this is fine.2:35
- Rolled over, the light went on again.2:36
- So I phoned maintenance.2:39
- Now bear in mind, this man at maintenance already thinks I'm completely mental as a person.2:41
- So I call him, I'm lying there now in the light.2:48
- A lock on the door, I go, oh, thank you.2:52
- Thank you for coming.2:54
- He said, is it taps again?2:55
- No, the taps are fine.2:56
- Watch this, the light is on.2:58
- The lights keep going on and I don't know why.2:59
- There's something wrong.3:01
- After I've phoned, they just go on.3:02
- I'm going to show you.3:04
- So I turn the light off and I'm standing in the dark with this Norwegian man.3:05
- Follow me, come with me.3:10
- I'm holding him a bit.3:12
- Come on, come with me.3:13
- Come on, come with me.3:16
- Are you there?3:21
- Yes.3:23
- Just standing.3:23
- I'm just going to get into the bed, okay?3:25
- I lay in the bed and nothing happened.3:29
- I'm just lying.3:31
- I'm lying in the dark.3:33
- And he just stood there and went, please let me go off.3:35
- I said, I want to go.3:39
- So he was knocking over furniture.3:40
- He made his way out of the door in the dark.3:42
- I rolled over and the lights went on.3:44
- I was going to tell you about my private life.3:51
- I've had some good news recently is that I've got...3:54
- My wife has always had a dream, okay, to own a little place in the countryside.3:57
- And it became my dream when she told me about it every day for ten years.4:02
- And recently I bought a little place in the countryside for us.4:10
- Beautiful little place.4:12
- It's very remote, very isolated, very private, rolling hills.4:13
- It's surrounded by a farm.4:16
- It's not our farm, but it's just lovely.4:18
- We didn't tell the children we were getting it.4:19
- It was the most magical day when we first moved in and we were standing outside all of us, my children, running around in the fields.4:21
- They couldn't believe it, giggling, and the sun going down.4:26
- And my wife and I holding hands, going, we did it.4:29
- It's amazing.4:31
- I'm so happy and tears.4:32
- It was beautiful.4:34
- And lovely little animals, little birds, because you don't see lice birds in London.4:35
- In London we have pigeons, sort of suicidal pigeons.4:38
- They sort of come in front of the car, just look at you, kill me, end my life.4:41
- It's not worth it.4:45
- They just fly off at the last second.4:46
- I don't even have the guts to end it.4:48
- There's a country with all these multicolored birds coming out of the woods.4:50
- They were welcoming us to the country, making lovely noises...4:53
- Like they were saying, hello, welcome.4:56
- Thank you for coming.4:58
- My wife holding hands, children running around.5:02
- Then the sun went down completely.5:06
- Absolute total darkness.5:08
- Pitch black terrified.5:10
- We both looked at where we thought we were...5:12
- Dallah, can't even see you.5:15
- We should go to London, we can't do this, can we?5:16
- We can't do this.5:18
- Where are the children, children?5:19
- And it was like all those lovely daytime animals mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn5:21
- mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn5:30
- mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn5:46
- mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn mawn5:50
- ma 360.5:52
- Edging to where we hoped the house was.5:54
- A ha!5:57
- A ha!5:59
- I want to go home!6:01
- We're drifting into the neighbours' fields.6:04
- And foxes, in London, when you see a fox, you see it for a second.6:07
- And you just go, oh look, there's a fox and then it disappears.6:10
- Like into thin air.6:12
- In the country you hear the noises they make.6:13
- They make this vile sort of, like they're vomiting violently.6:16
- Llyw!6:19
- Llyw!6:20
- Llyw!6:22
- There was this fox just walking towards us...6:22
- Llyw!6:25
- Llyw!6:27
- That would...6:28
- Ka -ka -ka -ka -ka -ka...6:28
- Ha!6:30
- Llyw!6:31
- Ha!6:33
- Ka -ka -ka -ka -ka...6:38
- Cats, pussy -cats, on heat...6:42
- ...is there a more...6:46
- ...sinistre sound out there...6:47
- Dyn y cat.6:49
- Aaaaah!6:50
- A sort of whining.6:51
- Aaaaaaaah!6:53
- Aaaaaaaah!6:54
- If only women would like this, how much easier would my teenage years have been?6:56
- Have you met Beverly?7:02
- Aaaaaaaah!7:04
- I think Beverly's up for it.7:06
- I think you're right Dave, lead me to her.7:07
- Aaaaaaaah!7:12
- Aaaaaaaah!7:15
- Aaaaaaaah!7:17
- Aaaaaaaah!7:19
- Finally we made it into the house.7:20
- You know people in the country, they say things like, we never lock our doors in the country.7:22
- Are you joking?7:25
- I was putting furniture in front of the door.7:26
- I opened the curtains to see what it was like.7:29
- It was a fox in my face.7:31
- Oh my God, it's getting worse!7:32
- Cos the fear is someone's going to break in at night.7:37
- What are you going to do if someone breaks in in the countryside?7:39
- In London you tell them where you live, you tell them your road, your postcode, the number.7:41
- Then the police will come to your house.7:46
- In the country people say things like, ignore the postcode, that takes you to another house.7:48
- Or why don't you swap postcodes with that house?7:52
- Every house just has names, the gleab holes, the rectory, the little cottage on the hill.7:56
- I've just spent my whole life giving people directions.8:00
- There's a dip, there's a dip in the road, you'll feel it, you won't see it, you'll feel a slight dip.8:02
- There's some roadkill, it used to be there, there might be some miracles, there's a left, there's a sharp left.8:06
- You think you're driving into a hedge, you've got to trust it's there, you've got to trust it's there.8:10
- Then you'll be on a lane for about a mile, then you'll come to a huge oak tree.8:14
- Then you knew you've gone too far, you must turn back and go out the road for God's sake.8:18
- You can't be saying this to the police on the phone.8:22
- You might as well pass it on to the burglar.8:25
- How did you find the place?8:27
- Can I put you on doom?8:28
- Because the onus is on us as men.8:31
- This is what my wife does, every time there's a noise in the house she wakes me up in the bedroom.8:34
- Did you hear that?8:38
- Did you hear that?8:39
- Come over to the kitchen, did you hear that?8:40
- Nice!8:41
- And I always deny it, even though I've heard it because I'm awake, terrified.8:41
- No, no, it must be the wind, even though I know there's no wind in the kitchen.8:45
- She always says the same thing, go and see, go on, go downstairs and see.8:50
- I'm always like, well that wasn't exactly the way I was going to handle the situation.8:54
- I was hoping we would hide as a family and a weight rescue.8:58
- But Michael, you're the man of the house!9:05
- Yes, you're right, I am the man of the house, but what concerns me at this very moment is, I think there's another man in the house.9:08
- And I've decided to make him the man of the house on this occasion.9:16
- But what about the children?9:21
- Good idea, send one of them, send the older one, the milder one.9:23
- I've also heard five teeth out this year.9:28
- OK, that's mad, I know.9:32
- Four wisdom teeth, all of them, and another tooth I've had to have out because I've had terrible trouble with my teeth.9:33
- It all started last year, I had this pain in my tooth, because last year I was fine, my knee was fine, my calf was fine, my shoulder was fine,9:38
- I was a pretty good nick.9:44
- Then I had this pain in my tooth and I went to the dentist, as you do.9:45
- Open my mouth, which is key, obviously you have to be asked.9:48
- You don't just walk in, ha?9:52
- So I sat in the chair and he looked in my mouth, he's like, you know what, you've got a rotting wisdom tooth.9:55
- I've got to take it out, it's rotting.9:59
- I didn't really mind, I didn't even know I had wisdom teeth, to be honest.10:01
- I know that my wives had them out, so I'm like, yeah, fine, whatever you like.10:04
- Also there's a TV there, I was watching this morning, it's right in my face, I was watching Phillip Schofield chatting away.10:07
- I was like, yeah, go for your life.10:11
- So he just got to work, I just lay there and I lay there for a while, I don't know, maybe an hour, maybe more than an hour.10:12
- I thought I'd been here, ages.10:17
- So I flicked my eyes over, you know, to see if the dentist was OK and he wasn't.10:19
- Oh my god, quite stressed, sort of sweat coming off his forehand, he was straining like this.10:22
- So I tried to ask him if he was OK, which is hard, but in your mouth is completely numb and he had like equipment in it.10:29
- Came out as one sort of sound.10:34
- Just one noise.10:41
- Like a northern Irishman saying mirror, that's an odd moment.10:42
- They're not even in the dentist, they don't know what's going on there.10:49
- I was like, oh no, no, no, no.10:52
- I thought I was OK, I thought I was OK at all.10:56
- I thought it was something personal.11:00
- I was like, oh my god, tell me what the matter is.11:01
- You've got to be.11:05
- He said I've been in the dentist for 30 years.11:07
- Congratulate him, dad, excellent.11:10
- That excellent is a real, real well done.11:12
- And if you've never not been able to get somebody's tooth out, I can't get your tooth out.11:15
- It's stuck.11:19
- Look, OK, look, you need to calm yourself down.11:19
- I'm in no loss, OK, I'm not in any pain whatsoever.11:24
- I've got no way to be, I'm not in this morning, I'm absolutely completely fine.11:28
- Go away, have a cup of tea, chill out, come back, smile again, I believe in you.11:33
- He said the reason you don't feel any pain is I've numbed your mouth, OK.11:42
- Look, and he passed me a mirror.11:46
- I am not going to lie to you.11:49
- Till the day I die, I will never forget the image that greeted me in the reflection, OK.11:51
- This side of my face was literally twice the size of this side.11:57
- That was bruising, I hadn't even noticed.12:00
- My bib was covered in blood already, I didn't even see it.12:02
- There was blood dripping up the side of my face like a sort of vampire.12:05
- My eye was sort of closing, I was like, what the fuck are you doing?12:09
- I said, I was trying to tell him, we've got to get you out of here.12:16
- I've got to get you to a hospital, follow me!12:18
- And he ran out of the room, I just followed on behind him.12:20
- Hello, excuse me, hello.12:24
- I have to say, I felt particularly sorry.12:27
- The poor people in the waiting room, you know, they're sitting there with the fish tank, reading old magazines, reassuring their children, everything was going to be fine at the12:29
- dentist's visit.12:37
- I come out with bruising blood all over my bib, blood coming out the side of my mouth.12:38
- Excuse me!12:46
- Has that boy seen the dentist?12:50
- I came out with my kids and you were right, come with mummy, come on, come with mummy now, come on!12:54
- I turned round to that idiot on the reception, there was some woman there, she was like, would you like to book an appointment with the high -teenest?12:58
- The high -teenest?13:04
- I need the fucking perfect dentist!13:06
- The dentist's gone!13:09
- I look out the door, this idiot is in his car, he's in his car, with the door open, he's still got his gloves on, he's going, get in!13:12
- Get in!13:20
- Are you serious?13:21
- Just get in!13:22
- All right, all right, so we're getting in the car with this man.13:23
- He starts hurtling through the streets.13:26
- Literally ten minutes earlier I was in the dentist's chair in relative comfort watching this morning, then we're driving through traffic, he's hooting, and my wife actually called me up13:28
- on the phone, hello, hello, hello, darling, you still at the dentist?13:36
- I'm with the dentist.13:41
- You mean you're at the dentist?13:45
- I'm not at the dentist, I'm with the dentist.13:46
- You mean you're at the dentist?13:50
- I'm not at the dentist, I'm with the dentist.13:52
- Why are you being so pedantic?13:56
- I'm not being...13:58
- pumbum bum.14:01
- I'm in the car.14:05
- Oh, you're on your way home?14:08
- I don't know where I'm going.14:10
- What is wrong with you?14:15
- The dentist is riding.14:17
- The dentist is riding.14:21
- He's riding.14:23
- He's riding.14:25
- The dentist is riding.14:27
- The dentist is rising.14:29
- The dentist is riding.14:32
- The dentist is riding.14:34
- I'll call your waiter.14:35
- You're having lunch with the dentist.14:37
- Finally, we show up at this door.14:41
- You see that door?14:42
- Go in there.14:43
- They're going to treat you, they know to expect you.14:45
- Just tell them your name.14:49
- Everything's going to be fine.14:50
- He drives off.14:53
- I'm standing on the pavement.14:54
- I've got the bib on, the soaked bib.14:56
- I saw my reflection in the glass.14:59
- I looked horrific.15:01
- I was worried it's going to start on full.15:02
- I came in at my best angle.15:04
- I was like, oh no, no, no.15:05
- I was like, oh no, no, no.15:07
- Hello, sir, can I have you?15:09
- Yes, I was wondering.15:11
- She's like, oh my God!15:13
- Oh my God!15:15
- Have you been attacked?15:17
- No, I haven't been attacked.15:18
- I don't go out in the bib expecting a thought.15:20
- I haven't been attacked so many times.15:25
- I know we're absorbent clothing.15:27
- Apparently you're expecting me.15:32
- Can I take your name, please?15:36
- The problem is, you'll know this if you're at a local NHS centre, you can't move your lips.15:38
- You need that to do letters of the alphabet.15:41
- The M, for example, greatly requires lip work.15:44
- I need that to identify myself.15:47
- Can I take your name, please?15:49
- I have acul acing cacar.15:51
- Acul acing cacar.15:57
- Acul acing dabel.16:01
- Acul acing gongar?16:05
- Oh, what's my lips?16:08
- Right, OK, I think the best thing for you to do is, if you head down the corridor, take a seat in the waiting room, and we'll try to get16:26
- to the bottom of this.16:35
- I'm not going to lie to you.16:35
- I was quite pissed off, she didn't recognise me.16:37
- I was on quite a lot of television.16:38
- I know that this side of my face was pretty much unrecognisable, but this side was fine.16:40
- I tried to jog her memory as I went down the corridor.16:44
- Unbound wing bubble.16:47
- She said it would look round.16:49
- I guess she's on the way to you now, and he understood this a little bit.16:51
- It hurts a bit now.16:55
- I'll start making this low E .T.16:56
- type sound on my own in the corner.16:58
- A, e, li, op, e, li, op.17:05
- I tried to be nice, I tried to look at other people in there.17:09
- Thankfully, I think for everybody, the nurse came in quite quickly.17:14
- Acul acing cacar?17:19
- I did the responders, though, eh?17:23
- She's getting white touch on my face.17:27
- Excuse me.17:28
- Are you acul acing cacar?17:30
- No.17:32
- So, what is your name?17:35
- Acul acing cacar.17:38
- That is actually me.17:43
- Sorry, Tup.17:45
- This is my real name, obviously, acul acing cacar.17:46
- But here they know me as acul acing cacar.17:50
- I'm a good me, they'll...17:53
- So, they take me up into this room, sort of private room, and she's really nice to me now.17:59
- She's like, oh my God, you've had a terrible day, haven't you, sir?18:02
- I have...18:05
- I have a real hold -up.18:05
- Please, don't you go help me.18:09
- Yes, don't worry, don't panic at all.18:10
- We do this all the time.18:12
- We're going to give you a general anesthetic, we're going to take your tooth out, everything's going to be fine.18:13
- If you just want to take all your clothes off and pop this hospital gown on, we'll take you straight through to surgery.18:16
- I'll put all my clothes off.18:21
- If you take all your clothes off, pop the gown on and we'll take you through.18:23
- Why do I have to take all my clothes off?18:25
- All the patients have to wear the hospital gown, that's hospital policy.18:27
- But you don't think the underfamily fits away from me.18:30
- I've got a problem with my tooth, which is located in my lap.18:33
- I don't have a tooth embedded in my arm.18:39
- They cannot wear my home clothes, but no.18:43
- You'll know what it's like if you've been to hospital, they humiliate you, for no reason at all.18:46
- You have to put this sort of piece of shit, floral, thin gown on, the wrong way round, with your ass hanging out.18:50
- I have to go into the loo with this gown, with my, literally, my bare bottom hanging out of the mac.18:56
- And you put this on, for no reason.19:02
- It's for everyone at hospital has their clothes on the right way round.19:03
- I have to put it on like that.19:05
- I'll come out.19:07
- Is that before?19:11
- It's perfect.19:14
- Rock of it's perfect.19:15
- I've got my tooth hanging out, and now I've got my mouth gone out.19:18
- There's no reason.19:23
- What I have to have in that gown, is to be grateful, is to be fickle, is to be full of love.19:25
- It's abhorrent.19:32
- What's on earth is it going to do to me?19:33
- I'm too general aesthetic, that requires access from my mouth.19:35
- I won't put me.19:39
- There will be, reaper cousin.19:42
- There'll be what?19:44
- Reaper cousin!19:45
- Don't take that tone with me, Mr Erkin cacker.19:47
- For the last time, my name, is Erkin cacker!19:49
- Now I have to follow this woman down the corridor.19:56
- Literally down the corridor.19:58
- There's no way.19:59
- I'm going to walk down a hospital corridor, with my ars just fflapping away here.19:59
- So people just happen to be behind me, looking at my ars.20:04
- No, that is not going to happen.20:06
- So I go down the wall like this.20:07
- I'm the way we were.20:09
- I'm the way we were.20:10
- Somebody's actually doing the same thing to me.20:13
- Quickly, Evie!20:15
- Thank you.20:16
- Thank you.20:17
- Finally they lie me down on a hospital bed, and I'm thrilled now, because my ars is concealed.20:20
- I'm happy.20:24
- The anesthetist comes in, a very serious, sort of quite old man.20:25
- Hello.20:27
- I'm the anesthetist.20:29
- I'm going to give you a general anesthetic.20:30
- I'm going to knock you out.20:31
- I'm going to give you a small prick, when you're left arm.20:32
- You're going to be knocked out immediately.20:35
- You okay with that, Michael?20:38
- Michael?20:40
- That's my name!20:44
- He says, yes, I know exactly who.20:46
- My three daughters are big fans of yours.20:47
- Oh, that's fair kind.20:49
- Thank you.20:51
- Then he put the needle in my arm.20:51
- And he went, my wife and I are not so keen.20:54
- And put me out!20:56
- I was like, you mother!20:58
- I don't know how many hours later, two or three hours later, I didn't know where I was.21:04
- Sometimes I wake up at home in a deep sleep, and I don't know where I am.21:08
- This was the deepest sleep I've had.21:11
- It was a general aesthetic.21:12
- I woke up, it was in bed, it was bright, it was hot.21:13
- I'd come out of the cupboards.21:16
- You know, in a heatwave, you come out, you know.21:17
- When your arms are at the highest point, you come out of the duvet.21:20
- You know, when you're lying down, at some stage during the night, the duvet sort of tucks in, and you just sort of roll out.21:23
- So I wake up.21:31
- Within moments, I feel this breeze coming in the back.21:33
- So I turn round to see my entire family standing there.21:41
- I wish that my son said, pants down, you're the loser.21:47
- Oh, it's family time today!21:51
- Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen!21:53
- Bravo!21:55
- Ymwneud yw 'r llwyddiad.22:10
- Ymwneud yw 'r llwyddiad.22:11
- Ymwneud yw 'r llwyddiad.22:12
- Ymwneud yw 'r llwyddiad.22:14
- Ymwneud yw 'r llwyddiad.22:16
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- Tingkat CEFR
- B1
- Kata yang perlu diketahui
- heatwave, nid, absorbent, edging, pedantic, abhorrent